It is a far, far better thing to be judicious and not hurt feelings. But there has to be truth in your commentary.
You might say that this dish is not to your tastes, but stress what you DID like about the meal. Maybe the dessert is fine, or the vegetables or SOMETHING. Accentuate the positive.
But before someone cooks dinner for you, I THINK there would be a lot of caveats in place: The person will choose something you ordinarily like. You mention you DO like spicey food or you DO NOT. If the food is terrible, perhaps it is that the person isn't an experienced COOK.
Doing dinner for a date is a big step. You're inviting someone into your HOME, you're exposing someone to your personal tastes in food and your living situation. The food you serve is part of your life experience. If it's terrible, I'd be a surprized... By the time you've been out on many dates... and I think a meal at home means you've been on many dates, you should both have a pretty clear idea of each other's tastes and what will and won't fly.
As someone that loves food, if it's that bad, my face will tell before my mouth does!
Yeah I'm telling him! If it's not seasoned, overseasoned, too greasy, overcooked... he WILL know! Better to be honest than sugarcoat it just to spare their feelings.
Or... offer to cook with him next time! Better still, takeout is good too; nothing wrong with pizza, lol
Yeah my mouth may or may not get me in trouble sometimes... I need a "blunt filter."
How can an entire meal be bad? Sure I have been served some foods that were not spiced correctly. The thing is none of us are perfect! The last person that I know of that was reported to have been perfect and walked on water was JC himself! I get served a dish that has something wrong with it I am going to tell her so. I have pulled a stinker before. We both laughed and she ordered me out of the kitchen and fixed it. This is only a problem if there are communication barriers. I NEVER cook for a lady on the first date! I also don't eat first dates cooking either. To be honest most of the time my date notices something is wrong when she takes a bite! I am not trying to morph the topic. I am just saying if you can't communicate that something is wrong with a dish without fireworks and hurt feelings, there are MAJOR issues to start with!
It all depends a lot on the person. I would prefer to let them know, but I'd do it in a way that was kind and caring in the interest of growth. Maybe just ask to cook a meal together, and while cooking make your personal preferences be known. You don't have to tell them straight out that their cooking sucks or that you don't like it while sharing your opinions or techniques. 10 years from now when they are a better cook you can laugh together about how bad that meal was, but not until then ;)
Unless of course they have a good sense of humor about it.
Opinion
75Opinion
If you lie about how good a cook someone is, they'll never learn to be a good cook.. Be honest without being hurtful about it... Don't say you love their cooking if you really don't unless you prepared to eat that, lie for years to come... What hurts more? A lie, well meaning or not? Or the truth hurts... Sometimes the team truth is the only way we can "really" learn..
I would tell the person that I appreciate that they cooked me a meal. But I would also tell that despite their efforts it doesn't taste very nice.
I'd apologise and say that I understand they've gone to a great deal to do this but if they wouldn't mind I'd love to help them improve it.
Firstly though I'd need to know whether this is a traditional dish their family cook or one they attempted. This changes everything.
Because if it's cooked like that by their family. I'll probably never like it and they'll probably never want to change it, especially if they say, "this is the way mana used to make it".
How bad is it?
So objectively bad that neither of us want to finish it? Probably thank them for the effort and gauge what their reaction is. If we can both throw in the towel and order pizza, it's no big deal. Shit gets burned sometimes.
If they really like it, and I'm not into the spice combo, I'll eat a small portion to be polite and Thank them. I won't pretend it's my favorite meal. I'll compliment some Ingredients and be upfront with Ingredients I don't like.
If they have a tendency to burn shit or make meat super duper dry, I'll just suggest slow cooker or instant pot meals.
I told the truth once to my mum, how the potato's were dry! She kept on saying 'Be honest' and I had my head bitten off (metaphorically)
I kept saying 'The food Is great!'
Not sure what age I started saying whether the food is good or bad, either way, my mother's cooking has improved extremely well! So not complaints and I keep my head!
I'd be honest but be polite.
There could be many reasons as to why you dont like it. But being kind and appreciative is still respectful and is something that is important to show.
Besides its tbe effort and and thought that counts.
Maybe make it light hearted and not too nit picky or abrupt.
My boyfriend likes for me to tell him if I don't like something he's cooked so he knows not to cook it again or to change something about the dinner the next time. My boyfriend is a great cook but he likes things to be prefect and constantly wants feedback so he can get better at stuff
I will answer something like this, " This is soo good. You need to add more salt and less pepper. it would have been great with less oil and you should have put olive oil not mustard oil... " like this they would have get an idea that it was gross. Or I would say, "It is good you should try too" then they will know themselves. So it's like I'm telling truth in lie way.
Yeah I would
we had a meal a couple months back and something was off with it.
We both decided not to eat it.
if we had of kept quiet to save feelings, likely we would have been ill.
If you care for your partner, guide and help them to cook the meals better. Even if your feedback is negative.
Lying to her would only make the relationship worse.
And if she walks away after you tell her what you thought of the food, she's not the right one. :/
I would lie, I'm not that direct haha and I guess they tried and that's what counts. Unless I get sick then it's pretty obvious that they didn't cook it well and not like I can hide that.
I would try to use some tact, or pour on the sweetness, as I dash his dreams of being the greatest chef in the world... but yes, he needs to know that I don't like the food that was cooked and why.
No, I tell it as it is without being condescending about it. Don't need to discourage her, but rather I would help her work through the errors by giving feedback. I'd probably still eat it anyway. Lying won't help both of us. Not only is the other entitled to the truth, especially since that is a norm within our relationship, I'm not some scared loser who is afraid to speak his mind. One of the reasons why she is all over me.
Yes I am that honest. But I not picky with food so the likelyhood of that happening is extremely low. She must be really terrible in the kitchen. I wouldn't make big deal out of it. I just throw the uneatable food away and see if there is something to replace it with. Or if the remaining eatable parts are enough.
I cleverly married someone who has taken an interest in cooking (I can cook too). It doesn't always come out well, but when it does, she knows it and we eat something else. I couldn't stay in a relationship with someone who can't tell good food from bad.
In basic training they made us live off of bugs for about 3 days just to make sure that we were able to do so if rations got scares. and most of these bugs made it easy to find because they were coming after us this as much as we were coming after the so it's almost like an open ground all you can eat yuck fest.
If that's the only pitfall then I'd say bring It on. I might not allowe her in the kitchen area, though.
To be honest, if you're dating, then you should be right next to that person when they are cooking. Which means you would smell the food and see the food way before you go to eating it.
Unless you are a complete fucking moron, you would know bad food before you got round to eating it.
You don't have to lie but you can be diplomatic. Respect the effort if not the result.
I am a cook/baker myself and also a food critic. I’d definitely say something, but won’t be rude about it.
This is a tough one lol. I would not want to hurt them after they worked hard to make me food, so I would likely lie 😱 The worst part is, because I would lie, they would want to make it for me again 😭 So I guess I would eventually have to tell the truth.. I would make sure they knew how much I appreciated their effort but that each person’s taste are different and unfortunately, the meal they made wasn’t my taste.
Friends dont lie and lies dont make friends.
The when, where and how you bring it up, decides the outcome of her feelings and ability take feedback.
Next time, cook the meals together, learn new recepies together and then decide what is good to keep and what not.
