I easily get jealous and I tend to overthink a lot. Am I toxic? Is it better for him to break up with me?

[Anonymous]

So we have been dating for 7 years and we are both 24 years old. He is my first and I am his first also. We have a very strong and a special relationship, I literally cannot imagine my life without him. He is always there for me and I am always there for him. I will cut to the chase. The last two years I have been really insecure about our relationship and I am afraid that I might lose him. He never had any experience with other girl and that makes me really anxious, what if he wants to experience new things someday? So I started getting jealous a lot and I know I was making it hard for him. Now that he has a nice and a stable job he has made a lot of girl friends and that really bothers me as I said I tend to overthink a lot and brought this whole overthinking thing to our relationship, so we did fight a lot. He knows that I overthink but it's hard for him to understand how it works so he gets mad. The last couple of months he thought about breaking up and he told me but he changed his mind after a lot of talking, I told him that I will stop overthinking everything so much. I tried a lot but there is a certain girl that I know she likes him because she told him "you are enough for me" (even though she has a boyfriend) and she tends to talk to him a lot and open up about her mental problems to him and asking for help from him. So I took his phone without him knowing and read the messages and he got mad and we had a big fight bringing up the break up again. Disclaimer we still don't live together. He tries not to talk to the girl and he always tell me to trust him and even though I do I cannot stop overthinking. And also I took his phone while he was sleeping and it turns out he wasn't. And I know it was a pretty bad thing to check his phone..

[kyleelyn199723]

I think you need to talk to him about certain boundaries with these girls. He should be including you in hang outs with them and he should be letting you get to know them. I think what you are thinking is reasonable because he is piecing his life together and changing his ways. Before he used to not have a lot of female friends, now he does. I am not saying that he is cheating on you, but he can’t expect you to be happy when this is a change to your 7 year relationship. I think if he doesn’t understand that, then you should consider breaking up with HIM.

[laura123iu]

there's a saying that says, there's no trust there's no us. you have to trust him like 100%, if you feel something in your gut that something is off. trust that feeling. it's your choice to stay or leave, but dont look pathetic begging or trying to make it work, if you feel something is off there's a high chance he fucked up. you deserve more and if he's using breakup for an ultimatum, it seems like he wants it to low-key end it, if he does it again, accept it and walk away. The best way to hurt someone is to act like you dont care.

[mark000h]

Your being jealous is what's causing it. He probably loves you and you're pushing him away. If you're it for him, he feels you doubt his love for you. Trust is the issue. Unless he does something to cause you to doubt, you shouldn't or you'll push him away.

[LegendaryIcon]

little jealousy in a relationship is ok but if it's just downright awful, then it's a toxic relationship, and you need to break up. work on your jealousy, or likely, envy

[In_Trance]

yeah