Just started dating a guy and we don’t text in between seeing each other... is this a bad sign?

[Anonymous]

We see each other on weekends. He’s a lawyer. I don’t want to keep hitting up his phone or come off needy. But I just saw a question on here where people said lovers should talk once a day at least. He and I don’t but when we see each other we can’t stop talking and we’re all over each other. So now I don’t know what to think. Does communication increase when you actually are in a relationship for awhile vs just starting to date?

[Anonymous]

I think it's different for different people. My now-bf and I texted constantly when we first started dating, and it has tapered off some now, only because we know each other so well. We still text everyday, just not constantly.

I do think though that some people text less in the beginning because they want to get to know each other in person. If you find out everything over text, what will you talk about on your dates? If you want to text in between, just text him every once in a while and ask how his day is going or something. Or maybe wait to text him until the evening so that he will be done working.

[Asker]

Exactly! I don’t want to keep texting and then when we hang out not have conversation topics. I want to get to know him in person more than by texts

[Daniela1982]

He sounds like he has a family and only gets away on weekends with the boys - or in your case, his lover. Are you being played for a sap?

Girl, you are being played.

[Asker]

No he doesn’t have a family. I’ve known him for a year now

[Daniela1982]

Wow, maybe he is real good at keeping secrets. If a guy wants sex enough he can convince you that the moon is made of cheese.

[Asker]

What’s your deal? Like do you have bad insecurity issues?

[Daniela1982]

Me? You are the one who is paranoid that her lover doesn't text you enough. What's your excuse that you don't text him? Your finger broken?

[Asker]

I don’t really know why you come and answer and harass lol weird energy but ok

[Daniela1982]

You still didn't explain why, if it bothers you, you don't text him? For all you know he is thinking the exact same thing you are thinking. One of you has to break the silence.

[Asker]

Well I honestly don’t feel the need to but I don’t want to not be doing enough or if I’m not doing this right and we should be texting, I don't know. I was mostly asking if this is something we should be doing or not. I’m ok with not

[MarkyyG123]

You don't have to wait for him to be the first one, if you want to say something say it, if you don't then don't
Life is too short to wait for something, don't leave any stone unturned and that way you have no regrets

[Asker]

But I don’t know what to text him. I have nothing to say really

[MarkyyG123]

A conversation is a two way street, there are so many things to talk about but you need to know if the other person wants to have this conversation or not and their responses will tell you that
Talk about their interests, their hobbies, their life, their current work, its endless!

[Asker]

But why do we have to text it.. Isn’t that better when you see each other in person?

[MarkyyG123]

Keeping in touch doesn't mean only in person, its okay to check up on one another over text but yes, you would not want to exhaust all topics over text, especially if you have set time to see this person, that doesn't mean however you need to go dark over text

[Asker]

Ugh it’s so difficult for me. I’m a loner and I don’t text ever. I don't know what to text

[BarryLiverstone]

Communication increases over time. Talking daily is for couples in a committed relationship. If you all just started dating enjoy being all over each other when you meet up.

[Asker]

Ty💓💓

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. Plus not everyone is a texter. Having phone calls or FaceTime once you are a couple is more intimate as you can share emotions

[Asker]

Totally agree

[ally018]

Many people text at least once a day to check up. However, If he’s a lawyer and he’s a busy guy you might be sitting there waiting on a text back all day. This might not be right for you two. Sounds like everything is going fine how it is now. Don’t worry about it.

[Wise4myage]

Not necessarily, he might be bad at texting, so give him a chance.

[Danny_dan92]

Soo… how do you communicate in between then?

[Asker]

We text like to set up plans just not to have a random conversation

[Danny_dan92]

That’s more like a booty call tbh

[Asker]

No it isn’t like that

[Asker]

We spend hours together

[Danny_dan92]

You’re not getting what I’m telling you.

If the only time you two communicate? Is to arrange a time to meetup, which involves sex? All you two are by definition is friends with benefits. Or booty calls for each other.

[bean2k21]

Just move on

[Asker]

Why would I do that?