We’ve been talking for 3 1/2 months and I need to ask him what’s going on?

[Anonymous]

i’ve been taking to this guy since September and it’s been all good. we go on dates, i’ve told him what i want (a relationship) he agreed but we haven’t talked about it since. i’m going home for a few weeks for winter break so i won’t see him for a little bit.

I want to talk to him tonight but i’m scared because i get nervous he doesn’t feel the same way. he doesn’t tell me how he feels a lot. like i’m a person that’s needs reassurance and i don’t get that.

I want to tell him how i feel and ask him how he really feels and to be open and honest.

I don't know if i should put a timeline and be like “if by the end of January or February and we aren’t in a relationship or nothing has changed…then i don’t want to keep waiting my time” like something like that

[caring__1]

Ultimatums will always backfire. This is the 21st century. There is no reason for you to have to wait on him to have a conversation. Just bring it up yourself. Don't start by telling him your feelings and then ask him what his are, as he'll just react to what you said. The key is to seek clarification. Let him know you want to understand how he sees relationships, what triggers him to want one and what holds him back from entering one.

You say you're scared he might not feel the same way. Which would you prefer... to learn the truth now or wait 20 years and 3 kids before learning the truth? No matter what the truth is, it will help you move forward.