Do you not even bother to give attractive people attention because you know you have no chance with them anyway?

Question

I myself do, I don't even bother to look at the attractive guys that walk past me because1st. They don't look at me.2nd. It will just boost their ego when I look at them but it won't give me anything. It'll just make me look like I'm another one of their fangirls obsessing over them.3rd: I have no chance at all so why even try or bother to give them my time and energy?4rd. They are player's.5th. I'm not worthy of them, they are out of my league and there are so many girls hotter than me that will try to get them. Most likely they will succeed.6th. Most likely they are whores.7th. They are most of the time obsessed with themselves and they look down at people less attractive than them. But if I found an attractive guy I liked and if he was a good guy (which they 99.9% of the time aren't) I would date him even though he's out of my league.

MelaninQueen21 · Accepted Answer

It depends on the setting and the situation. See when I was younger, back in Middle and high school, my sister and I were always bullied by girls and boys. Sometimes, the unattractive, ghetto girls would pick at us. We were quiet, shy and overall good girls.

But in high school, I started to express myself, using the clothes I'd wear, through fashion. In Middle School, we had to wear uniforms, so in high school, I had the chance to show out a d stand out! There were many cute boys around, mostly on the grade above me. As a freshman, I would, ot all the time, go up to my crush a talk to them. It wasn't common for me to do. But what I mostly did was that I made sure that I looked cute and walked pass them, since a group of boys already knew I liked one of their friends. Every day, they would stand outside of my 4th or 5th period class, that I had with a couple of their friends, and just "cat call" or tease their friend about me, in a playful way.

Sorry I'm getting f carried away, but now since I'm in College and I've developed more self confidence and a sense of fashion, I've approached about 4 guys, whom I found to be attractive, and told them so. Their responses are quite surprising, expectedly, but a couple of them seemed to not be aware of the beauty that they possess. This also goes to show that many people may not find themselves quite attractive, unless someone else points it out to them. But at times, you (I) may not get approached by guys, not because I'm pretty, but because of how I carry myself. How I dress. How confident I look; how secure I appear to be. Who I hang around; I tend to hang around a lot of guys at campus, besides a few girls. So that could also be intimidating to them. But who knows 🤷🏽‍♀️

Curiousgirl2414 · Accepted Answer

While my profile by accident shows 20, I’m actually 27. As a 27 year old whose been in the dating and relationship game a while, I can say Your age shows in your question. I kinda felt that way in high school. I wouldn’t make any effort toward guys in general because 1) I knew at that age chances of a healthy long-term worthy relationship were slim to none and 2) I didn’t want to become obsessed with a guy just to have our lives take us on different paths post graduation.

If your age is correct (under 18), you’re worrying way too much about dating. Dating as a teen and dating/relationships as an adult are significantly different, and you’ll find that as you turn 20,21,22+ the maturity level is much different and leads to more stable relationships. Believe it or not, there are attractive men out there that want similar things you do and have similar feelings, you just can’t find it yet because you’re all too young to realize it.

None of that is meant to be an insult or a lecture. It’s a “buck-up!” because brighter things that make more sense are ahead.

humpbackjack · Accepted Answer

No I’ll talk to whoever and so should you just because someone looks a certain way doesn’t mean they’re an asshole plus you don’t know what their taste in women are you’re assuming that good looking people are only attracted to good looking people but how decides whose good looking I’ve been told pretty much my whole life I’m good looking and usually by some pretty hot women and I have a wide range of things I find attractive about women but mostly it’s their inner spirit it’s that light that shines through also guess what everybody has insecurities to some level and we all fear something but you need to face your fears to conquer them and who cares if they aren’t interested in you at least you found out so you can move onto the next one cause they don’t have to be receptive and it might have nothing to do with what you’re tripping on my theory is you can get anyones attention if you come at them the right way which will be deferent for some but give yourself a way out just in case it’s not looking good

Johnson124 · Accepted Answer

What are you saying? Please stop it. Attractive people are humans. They can be bad. They can be good. It's individual stuff, not attractive and not attractive person stuff

You feel that way, but it's not true. So many people think am rude, but am not. When I started to find out they think I am, I was curious to know why. They did not tell me till now, but I observed my behaviors with their actions, and I tried adjusting.

Am an introvert, so people think am proud or rude or something, but it's just me. It has nothing to do with attractiveness. I never even knew I was, I just know people stared. It's as I grow, I get more understanding

Some of those attractive people don't know they are attractive. Some of them don't get attention, because just the way you are thinking, it's the same way others are thinking. Let me give you an advice, if you want to marry an attractive person, approach them. You are likely to marry one of them. But just make sure to marry the right person

ManOnFire · Answer

I don't bother to give them attention because they already want to be worshipped, and I'm not in the business of worshipping people who don't have character.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

There is only one time where I avoided a guy I was interested in because I thought he was too good for me, I don’t care how high status the man is. If he is single and I like him, I will try to make it work.

ohshee · Answer

You should look at them eye to eye contact just because you're attractive doesn't mean anything real beauty comes from the inside when I'm looking to date a girl or if I'm looking to have a partner girlfriend I look at the inside first I want to know exactly who they are and how beautiful the heart is because that's where the real beauty comes from the outside is just an extra bonus and when you're looking at these guys just because they look good on the outside that doesn't mean that they're good person or that you would even want to be with them don't sell yourself short if you are beautiful within you are beautiful on the outside too and it's their loss not yours so I to eye contact and you could be thinking in your mind you don't know what you're missing buddy LOL keep the confidence going in life we all get to choose who we want to be by the things we say we do if you're good person you have a beautiful heart you can smile you're happy the odds are you are very beautiful person on the inside and the outside

Anonymous · Answer

Here is the thing about how you are thinking about yourself and him… believe it or not, we tend to be attracted to those who are also attracted to us. Some guys like to pretend that they rule the world, and most do so just to hide how really unsecure they are. The gentleman you like has just as many doubts as you do. At most, he is just better at covering them up to preserve his ego.

Let's talk about ego and what it truly is, and it is not what those yogis, Hindu teachings that have been translated so wrongly. First, the term ego, and that stands for "I" was used by Freud to differentiate the different levels of conscience that we have. Ego, is simply how you see yourself as being, your own personal perspective of your own self. What most unenlightened people mistake ego for is better described as hubris, a false sense of pride. I can point to a ton of politicians that would make perfect examples of that. It is always marked by a severe downfall that was caused by (technically) defying the gods.

In other words, your ego, my ego, and everyone's ego is just basically who they see themselves as. When you destroy someone's ego, you basically destroy them. For instance, I will do good things for others anonymously, since it feeds my ego by making me feel good about myself. I don't need any validation of the good things that I may do for others, and I don't want it either. Just feeling good about me is good enough.

After all that rant there… it comes down to this… If you really like and want him, you best go out and get him. If you don't even try, you will never know if it would have worked out and have lost him to someone else who did.

Datboi65 · Answer

I would say it's probably because you have low self-esteem. I'm not currently looking for a relationship, but if I was I would definitely approach a girl I think is beautiful. Worst case scenario? I get rejected. So what? It's not the end of the world. Move on to the next one. Also, vetting is important so you don't end up with a person that is your type looks-wise, but have terrible values and morals. That's when people start to generalize and say "all attractive people are cheaters" or "all attractive people are assholes" which if you look close enough, you realize that being "attractive" isn't a personality traits, and not all people think the same. Do they have more options? Yes. However, it's about whether or not they take those options while they're with you that will decide whether or not they are loyal or a cheater. The red flags can be spotted at the early stages. Hopefully that makes sense.

t-8900 · Answer

well a lot of those good looking girls i passed up because they were wild, had a lot of history, and liked to party too much. I'm not interested in partying. That shit got old at like 22. Anyways I need to have actual respect for the person before I can ask them out either way. Respect is earned, not given. Thus we need to have gotten to know each other a bit first and a lot of secrets will get revealed. I'll either be okay with it or not and proceed accordingly. I think this is something lots of girls should do and TRY to separate their feelings in the early stages. You're trying to decipher if the guy is a good match first. then IF you see no red flags and IF you've gotten to know him then proceed from there. Tbh its really the safest way to not get used and discarded. i think its good to find out if you share the same values before getting entangled in the first place.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I chat to anyone really. No really worried if out of my league or not.
even those who are celeb level very attractive struggle dating,

I know a girl who is really lovely, very pretty, hot but is single.

for some reasons guys pass her by even though she’s sexy as.

Never put yourself down, always be confident and happy to chat to anyone.

it’s just spotting obvious players from decent people.

Anonymous · Answer

As a guy (yes I have a pink acc because people follow me more) anyway as a guy I can tell you girls always ruin the relationship because they think I have a million women... They think they are not worthy of me. All these things. Every damn girl. But you want to know the truth? I'm a virgin and barley talk any girls. Now a lot of that is because I am focus on my goals and I probably place too much value of them; so I don't really try. Anyway what you said was pathetic. It's sad tbh. Just sad. That league crap doesn't exist. You're all living on the surface... These comments are pathetic. You basically ate physically attractive people. Nobody on this planet is above you. You have just as much potential. It waits for you.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I do talk to them, I wish others would stop and talk. I try to be friendly to everyone, but I understand how it is different at your age. Under 18 is tough, and all that peer pressure.

It actually gets easier when you get older as everyone starts to realize all that peer stuff is just stupid.

Good1mufferaw · Answer

I get your point - but as I read along, your post only became more generalising. Just because someones attractive, doesn’t automatically make them a player or a "whore" - it sounds like you are projecting a lot. Do you feel hatred towards attractive guys, because you actually want to get noticed by them but feel let down that they don’t give you attention?

MCheetah · Answer

That's the idea.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I don’t look at any boys period but I am rather attractive myself with a svelte tight figure and very pretty face. I don’t bother with people because when I like someone I am obsessed with one person and from 15-23 I was in a relationship with a very tall and handsome young man. Now I am still 23 and kind of like this boy and trying to make something happen with him but want him to initiate. I never initiate things.

Tee_12 · Answer

You seem insecure person you can definitely work on your insecurities and feel worthy and good looks comes genetically and nobody can change it, looks have nothing to with nature and character of a person attractive people are also human being who have had their own struggles in life

TruthBringer · Answer

Well I don't give them attention because I'm in a relationship. I'm talking about strangers that is. If it is a classmate or a coworker that's something different. But the attention would be professional or just casual with no flirting or unncessary compliments. Because indeed, many attractive people do have their egos in the clouds already. I've actually had success with some of them by NOT giving them that attention that everyone else was giving them (aka simps).

In the end, they are just as insecure as everyone else if not more. So they are just human, nothing special. Especially the attractive women who are empty shells if you take away all the attention and social media. So yeah, if I walk past one, I wouldn't give them attention. The same goes for ugly or average people. Because why should I?

nice-girl · Answer

No, I don't think that way. Appearance doesn't mean much for me. And sometimes what is attractive for me is not for someone else so, there can be differences in perception.
Some people are very attractive in the outside, but socially awkward.

Moose304 · Answer

Want to get a really good education on this subject? Go have a long conversation with a bartender! I'm not talking about some guy that weighs 400 pounds with a tat that says "MOM" and hands out beer at some local bar where mostly old men hang out. I am talking about places where lots of people go. It's almost comical how many good-looking women will go sit at a bar, make eyes and do everything but scream I'm here to hook up but leave angry that guys won't approach her. I have been known to go sit alone at a sports bar, with my iPad or laptop and sip drinks while watching the dynamics of the people interacting with each other. Part of my attention is to my work, part to a game on, and part to watch people. Like I said, go speak to a bartender!

InferiorElegy · Answer

I never used to but when you've been rejected by every single female of different looks, body shapes, intelligence, race, status as I have at some point you realize what the fuck is the point of even trying when you already know the answer and then you just stop trying or caring. Attractive females don't want anything to do with me, so why give attention when it's not wanted or needed?

SphynxUK · Answer

You do realise that people can’t help the face they are given? And who are you to judge and assume what sort of a person they are, based on your preconceptions of how you ‘think’ someone looks?

melanieeeB · Answer

I used to be like that when I was like 16-17 and insecure and believed that they were under my league lol Later I dated those guys and now I have those guys telling me I deserve better

sensible27 · Answer

Let's do a thought experiment, imagining you could find anyone and they agree with being with you would you find the most "attractive" one? The point here is if you find someone who'll really like it wouldn't really matter what you look like possibly

Do you not even bother to give attractive people attention because you know you have no chance with them anyway?

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Do you not even bother to give attractive people attention because you know you have no chance with them anyway?

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