Is it universal/common knowledge for guys to tell a girl to message her when she gets home safe after seeing her? Or do some guys not know this?

[Anonymous]

I ask because I’m seeing a guy who I live a half hour away from. Since I live with my parents I always go drive to see him. Since date 1, when I leave he doesn’t tell me to text him when I get home safe. And I always leave late at night, sometimes past 1am… I drive from a city to a country area where I live, and during winter. I thought he didn’t care about me/wasn’t that interested but then I heard from someone else that she went on a date with him months back and he never told her to message him when she got home safe either, and he wanted a second date so it wasn’t disinterest.

Im just wondering, do some guys not know to do this? With literally every man I’ve gone on even a single date with, they’ve 100% of the time told me to message them when I get home safe unless it was a 15 date and we decided we didn’t like each other lol. But always, even during the day and driving less miles than I do with him, guys have told me to do this.

[SenileOldMan]

I never knew this but it might be due to my age/generation. It was never applicable since I always escorted the woman home typically by driving her back home or if we had drinks and took a taxi, ride together and take her home first and then ride the taxi back to my place.

[Asker]

True it may be because of growing up with cell phones this was always a thing… he is 31 and I’m 27 so maybe I’m used to it more.. but I’ve had older men than him tell me to message them when I get home so now I don't know lol

[SenileOldMan]

I see! I can see it being the gentlemanly way today with cell phones and also more women driving and more people dating who live very far away from each other. It does make sense to me if I was still dating. I sometimes wonder if younger men today know basic gentleman things in general though, like walking on the side of oncoming traffic when escorting her down a street.

[SenileOldMan]

I also wonder if most women still think it's cool to be a gentleman or kind of lame/cheesy. I always liked it not just in terms of courtesy and looking out for her but it also just helped me to know what to do on dates at all times instead of being all confused.

[Asker]

Yeah! It really seems lost. I only had one guy know of doing that (walking on the side of the side of traffic when walking by a woman). All other guys completely clueless with this. I didn’t even know it was a thing until he did it lol and funny enough he was a couple years younger, like 21 years old, at the time.

[Asker]

I personally still appreciate it but it depends on each woman. I know my male friend told me feminism has kinda also took part because some girls find it offensive.. like they don’t want to be treated like they need a man’s help. He was on a date once with a girl and kept opening doors for her and she actually got irritated with him. I don’t understand this but yeah it’s definitely a thing lol

[SenileOldMan]

I often feel like a dinosaur on sites like these since I see men saying only a simp would pay the bill, for example. And I could see how a very submissive demeanor can be "simpy" (is that a word?) but not so much a dominant/protective one that takes the lead on a date and treats his woman as his guest.

I could understand how feminists could get offended by this but I see it as a matter of structure, like a man leading a woman in dance. That doesn't have to be accompanied by a man thinking his woman is weak. But without that structure, the dance might begin and both are all confused stepping on each other's toes.

[Asker]

Haha yeah I don’t agree with the simp term. I don’t see how treating a woman with interest and doing kind things should be labeled as that. I actually really hate that simp word. It’s used too much!
And I totally agree! I feel like a lot of men walk on egg shells because they don’t know how it’ll be received or like it’ll make them a “simp”… really unfortunate :(

[SenileOldMan]

I have seen those types of men in abundance who put women on pedestals and seem a bit too eager to please... the analogical asskisser to their boss at work. But it does seem like people are too quick to assume a "simp" and perhaps it's the same kind of faulty thinking pattern that makes some radical feminist think the only reason a man would hold a door open for her is the thought that she is weak or inferior in some way, when he might do that for everybody including men twice his size.

[Asker]

Haha yeah. That’s a good point, I’ve seen guys hold open doors for both genders. And definitely agree, not a fan of asskissers either!

[RasmusAiken]

The most caring measure is to escort your girl back to her place. What good does it do to NOT get a "I'm home safe" text.

[Asker]

So he doesn’t care?

[NopeWhatTime]

It's not universal, some people don't know to do this. If it concerns you you should let him know, it probably just hasn't crossed his mind

[noohair]

For me, it was how I was raised, call me when you get home. Now it is text.

[Juvedhe]

I wouldn’t make it a big deal unless he did other things to show he didn’t care

[turtl3man]

Personally, I had no idea people did this.

[jahaims]

I do that with all my friends regardless of gender