I've looked into this subject myself as I absolutely DESPISED that feeling. It's like her mentioning another boyfriend and it's like your stomach twists and your chest feels tight. And you don't want to be judgy, and you KNOW it's a bit of a double standard. But it's damn near impossible to ignore that feeling. I can't listen to "Mr Brightside" because he did such a good job of conveying the feeling I can't stand.
It also varies greatly from girl to girl for some reason. Like, the more outwardly sexual she is, the less I care. But the more... I guess "mormon?"... she seems to be, the more it bothers me. That part I still haven't quite figured out about. But I tend to prefer more outwardly sexual women partially for this reason, and for the fact that I don't feel like I have to be ashamed of my own sexuality.
Some people say it's sexism. Some say it's immaturity.
I did a lot of reading into this to try to process it myself. My conclusion is that it is simply scarcity. Like, I remember feeling this pretty strongly in college when I was a virgin dating a girl who had slept with like 6 guys and 4 girl, several at the same time. I remembered in high school feeling this if a girl I was crushing on was seen holding a guy's hand. "I've totally lost her." it would feel like.
But also, millennials and younger are less social and have less sex than previous generations. We're certainly more isolated. At first it seems like irony given we deal with way more people from way different cultures. But what are your neighbors' names? The clerk at the store you went to last? When's the last time you were walking on the street and ran into the same person twice?
So things have gotten more... tense... these days in this regard. Jealousy seems stronger. Bitterness towards the opposite gender seems rather strong. Bigger versions of "incels" on both sides of the aisle.
But like Victorian England was probably worse. I know things are horrible in China after the 1-child policy and male-passed family legacy pretty much guaranteed the country be overrun with hundreds of millions of excess single men.
But like, compared to our more recent history, we're pretty celibate and frustrated. Compared to hunter-gatherers, we're basically sexless monks. That frustration takes its toll.
Just know that these feelings are normal and try not to beat yourself up just for feeling them. I mean, don't go shaming others for their sexual past. But like don't feel like you're doing something "wrong" just because you have this feeling. A lot of us feel it. I think over time you just learn to process it and it doesn't take hold of you so much.
Because you want whats between you and her to be special, and if other guys have gotten the same treatment then its not special anymore. My advice is to find something unique just between you two ao you have that connection, you can even do it with kissing, ask her how she would like to be kissed but tell her you wanna kiss her different then how other guys kissed her, if she is worth your time she will work with you.
I’m not sure but it’s hypocritical.
She literally didn’t kiss back, so I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.
Would you have the same reaction if she told you she had sex before you?
Opinion
9Opinion
You might have a control and ownership problem. In this scenario, you feel that she owed you her loyalty and faithfulness before entering a relationship with you. I think it's important to ask yourself why that is.
I wontl you an bigoted arsebag, but I'm finding it really difficult not to.
seems pretty immature and unrealistic... everyone has kissed somone else by the time they are 15... it's all part of growing up... time for you to GROW up...
Think so u r too sensitive.
He fucked her too. LOL
Have you kissed anyone before her?
Double standard jerk sounds about right.
Because you're insecure
smh bruh...
The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!
You can also add your opinion below!
