Why is it hard for most people that are in relationships to accept that it’s over?

[Finchie40]

When my ex was distancing herself from me and treating me like complete shit , I held on to hope that she was just going through a tough patch in life and just making me her punching bag , hoping I would get my girl back like it was before , I was kind of blind to all of it and thinking does she want to end this relationship or does she still love me , I was with her for a long period of time so I guess I couldn’t grasp it was over between us even though she treated me like complete shit , It’s like I didn’t want to believe it was over so I held on hoping she would snap out of what she was going through and accepting my love for her again to find out she was cheating on me? Why do we as people hold onto someone that is clearly treating us like shit? Why do we feel most times that Love will save the day? When do we decide it’s time to be selfish and tell them to go fuck themselves instead of just sitting back being a punching bag for them? When do you really know?

[DizzyDesii]

I've only begged a guy to stay once and tbh, i was being selfish because i didn't feel like starting over and losing everything i built up for us. It was never about his happiness which is why in the end, it was best he left. I've been begged to stay many times but i dont because i know what i deep down they’re no longer what I want, so its easy to leave. So in other words, do you not accept that its over because you enjoy being a punching bag? I ran this one relationship until i was my most vulnerable and gave myself to him. Those last 3 months, he ran shit. I dont like not being in control, or at least not sharing the control. Having no control made me look pathetic and i won't allow that again. I've had 50% or more control in every relationship before and after that one (well except for my very first ) and yea im just not gonna be the “follower”. Either i lead or we walk side by side. But i will not trail behind a guy like some lost pup. Anyone allowing themselves to be a punching bag even if for a short time, is exactly that... lost. They need to work on self love and learning their worth.

[Finchie40]

Yea I only begged my ex wife because her and I made a family together and made beautiful children together , she was my best friend and I thought her and I would be together until the end , But she became very miserable and negative and was never really happy always comparing her life to others and making me feel like I wasn’t good enough for her , I would walk away but she would
Come chasing me back , it was a vicious cycle , it seemed like I was going through with her every year , like it was good then bad , back and fourth, it was like being married to Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde , When she was positive towards me things were amazing between us but like a flip of a switch she hated my guts , I know girls have out of Control hormones so I kind of didn’t let her negativity affect me to much , but through the years it just got worse , especially after we had children together , I know I wasn’t perfect either , but i stood by her side every which way possible cuz I wanted our marriage and family together to last thinking love will save the day. I know all relationships go through problems so another reason I held on hoping for the better not realizing I had Sucker written on my head , She would withhold intimacy and affection from me like I had to earn it from her , Everything was one sided , her way or no way , when in the beginning it was nothing like that what so ever , intimacy and affection wasn’t even an issue , when it started becoming an issue that’s when I knew things weren’t good , when I tried expressing my feelings of concern , she didn’t want to hear it , In her mind I was picking a fight when really I was trying to express how I was feeling toward her and why all of a sudden do you hate me? I always had a constant question mark over my head analyzing what did I do wrong for her to treat me this way? I always been a hard worker , I helped around the house , I let her pretty much have fun with the money as long as our bills were paid but nothing was ever

[Finchie40]

Ever good enough , Like she had this little demon living inside her that would come out and attack me
From time to time , When she got addicted to Facebook that’s when our relationship started ping really down the tubes , It was like my wife completely changed on me and became this very selfish person , always thinking grass is greener on the other side , comparing me and belittling me making me feel like I was t good enough for her

[NathanDavis]

you would be in a much better position to answer to this... than I would be