Do guys care about dating “leagues” more than women do?

Question

I’ve noticed that every time I hear this topic being talked about, it’s always a guy saying it. Like that people shouldn’t date if they’re not in the same league.

Snakeyes7 · Accepted Answer

I'd imagine they'd have to considering they are typically the ones who have to gague the chances of success when asking a girl out.

2021biguy · Accepted Answer

People that care about leagues are superficial, so they aren't good relationship material.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I think guys see at as a challenge if the girls out of their league and even as doing the girl a favor if she's beneath their league. I do have a type but i also know whats out of my league. I fell for 8 guys out of my league.
—One was 6’4 which honestly scared me but his face was so beautiful and he was so sweet. He was model material but a football player. Things were going great but then he ghosted and knocked up some girl. 3 months later, He came back looking beaten up, covered in tats, trying to tell me he was about to be a father but still wanted to give us a try. I walked away.
—Another was gorgeous but turned out to be 5’6. He knew he could still pull a lot of women with his Jiu Jitsu skills, good looks and accent. I thought we were going strong and then he cheated after i told him i wasn't sure if i wanted to stay with him after finding out he was a former porn star.
—Another was a doctor and straight gorgeous. But he had a girly voice and hated receiving compliments and although he was mixed, he was racist towards every race but one part of his own. I got tired of his whining and we just didn't work.
—Another was a gorgeous classmate who legit looked like superman and we flirted constantly. We approached eachother so much that I could see us happening. But one day he got up and said, “wow that blonde is just really my type.” And i watched him follow her. Lmao.
—Another was a social media mogul and so hot. We had a thing going offline but he turned out to be psycho, stalkerish, etc. I think he may have also been closeted or bisexual. I started to feel i was out of his league instead of the other way around.
—Another was a CEO and i was intimidated by his looks and his earnings. I feared he’d be controlling but he was very sweet. He just sucked at quality time. So i ended things.
—I grew up falling for my best friends middle brother but her extremely hot older brother ended up being interested in me instead. It hurt to turn him away, but he just wasn't the brother I wanted.
— Another was out of my league but he was younger and extremely smitten over me. I liked the dedication. I tried to give us a shot but he was so cocky and horny it disgusted me.
—The last was out of my league but we had lots in common and settled for good phone sex lol

Medicalbug · Answer

I have never even thought about it much until I came here. Suddenly, I was told strange things by men who insist I must be lying about my sexual preferences and reasoning, often insisted upon by someone down on their luck with women.
I don't care about leagues and don't date up. Never have. The standards a guy has to "meet" to be considered relationship material for me are rooted in phrases like "not a chronic cheater", "hygiene doesn't suck", "not perpetually unemployed or homeless" and MOST IMPORTANTLY "gets along well with me on a friendship level". Sure, it would be great if the guy wasn't tall, but if he ticks all the boxes (especially that last one), I am hardly going to turn him away.
If these standards are too high, I'm not going to apologize. Also, dating is not the same as hooking up. For hooking up you don't need a brain, a job, or a no cheat record - just an attractive, clean body.

desidoll · Answer

Some of them claim they don’t, because they know they are going after a woman who doesn’t match them. They get offended by that word because they know exactly what they are doing. I am not talking about look alone here, but other traits as well. I believe league exists, because if it doesn’t, I would be with a millionaire’s son by now. Obviously I am totally out of his league in this scenario. I can take my sister as an example. She used to be a model and now she is a TV presenter. Sometimes she calls me to talk about men who tried to get with her. They are businessman, politicians, managers and all. However, there were also some overweight, low income and weirdos who believed in “luck” harassed her when she said no. I seriously don’t understand this. Going after women who are wanted by so many high ranking men is one issue. Cursing and harassing them when they say no is another story.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I think only Americans talk about leagues. Never heard anyone mention it in the UK. Most of the time American men also don’t know what the hell they’re on about.

Any man can get any girl. He just needs to be good with his words and have confidence.

Diodoro · Answer

I think girls in their actions believe in and care about the idea of leagues more. While guys by and large either don't care and overcome because their self perception is good enough.

Or it's not and they fall into the view that many girls hold, which is a guy has to meet XYZ standard for him to even qualify for her. That's why girls talk about guys needing to "impress" her.

It inherently means she views herself as higher than the guy and he has to work to show her something. That's why I'd argue girls actually care more.

Guys just have to deal with it by having a believe in themselves that is greater than her view of the implicit league system she lives by or he checks enough of the superficial boxes that she just sees him as a qualifying option at the start.

Nomoturtle · Answer

Depends on the scope you're looking at. In the immediate sense of men not dating women above their league, yeah I think men do it more.

However, the parallel would be women not dating men beneath them, women generally date across and up hierarchies, moreso than men to women. In this sense women also care a heck of a lot about dating leagues, perhaps moreso than men, it's just not directly limiting.

I think this behaviour falls under the category of those influenced or set by women. Women have preferences, and men develop behaviours in response to them. Obviously the same happens in reverse for other behaviours. Similar to insecurities deriving from: women's focus with being beautiful being a reflection of men's preferences, or men's focus with height reflecting women's preferences.

shaysh87 · Answer

I’ll tell you the truth

men care about the leagues of a woman’s looks. You don’t often see men dating a woman wayy less attractive than him.

women care more about a man being on her league success and financial wise. You don’t often see women dating a man less educated and less financially stable than her

Kaamraj · Answer

The concept of leagues or tiers for dating is anything but recent. It predates settled societies where it was the norm that only one man of the tribe (alpha man) got to mate with all the females whereas the others didn't. There have been several geneological studies to show that all of us have been decented from nearly all of our female ancestors but only 10-20 % of male ancestors. This means that it was the norm that nearly all women mated and had offspring with a very select group of men (hypergamy).

So the concept of "league" is nothing for men. It spurs competition and excellence.

DonkeyDan · Answer

I think the leagues thing is total rubbish, I've dated all kinds of people over the years. I think that people who see others in leagues are too preoccupied with looks.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

'Caliber' is usually how my brothers, friends & I refer to 'league' as. Oftentimes, I'd hear the guys say "Whoa! She's 'magnum caliber' dude! You're 'bb gun' ain't gonna cut it!" or something of the same gist.

So, there, that makes me believe guys care more about that issue. At least, I can say that based on the guys that surrounded me throughout my lifetime.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I'm not sure if men or women care more about "leagues"... I remember my first roommate when I moved away to transfer to a different college. He said that an incoming freshman young lady was "out of his league". I had no idea why. He had a more serious major and seemed to be a more refined person, etc. I guess he got over it because the next semester they started dating and they were together for over a year.

Staximus · Answer

It's just being realistic. Most rich girls or extremely career-minded women aren't going to go for some guy who isn't as rich or isn't as much of a "go-getter", unless he razzle dazzled her with some wanna-be rockstar or starving artist bullshit. A girl who is a doctor or lawyer would never go out with the guy who works at the gas station, even though they see each other every couple days and like each other. I've seen plenty of guys marry or date women who don't make nearly as much money. I've rarely seen women who are willing to date, much less marry a guy who makes less money than them. Times are changing, though.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I personally don’t care about em.

if I see someone I like I shoot my shot. Best case scenario they say yes and worst case they aren’t interested.

and it should also be noted that just because you may think someone is out of your league. That doesn’t mean they think your out of theirs.

and connection and chemistry isn’t determined by leagues in someone’s head.

rahmann · Answer

İdk about other dudes but i have standards and i view myself certain way which requires me to have a 9's 10's. Won't go for someone who's lower than 5 unless I'm madly in love. So i guess i do care about leagues

GlassTop · Answer

Guys will date ugly or pretty. They know the more attractive a woman, the crazier they are. They want to marry around the middle, not too ugly because you won’t be attracted, not too pretty because she’ll drive you insane. But times have changed because crazy is reaching all numbers regardless of attraction.

Sonorous · Answer

Well, women generally care about "leagues" more than men do because of their instinctual hypergamous nature. Regardless of the relationship type. Whether it be short-term or long-term, monogamous or non-monogamous, etc. You'll more often see women dating their looks, money, &/or status equivalent or higher.

WhateverMayBeWillBe · Answer

Men definitely complain about this more but I feel a lot of women abide the notion of leagues subconsciously or at least silently. So what I mean by that is guys will acknowledge "leagues" while a lot of women will behave/conduct themselves in the league she thinks she is in.

StrifeslSpike · Answer

Well it shows the girl only care about looks by the vote because for me I just want a responsible girl that has her shit together and doesn’t take fuck shit at all that all I care about tbh but hey if I’m not in a girls League then sucks to be her for miss out on something greeting people for Leagues is a bit petty in my books plus it shouldn’t be about looks in people it about personality and if they can make you laugh there only 3 girls in my life that have made me laugh 2 I date and one I’m friends with

Кураж · Answer

You will rarely hear it coming from women, because women actually want to date men out of their league.
That's kind of the basis of female to male attraction- chasing better, smarter, more confident, more successful males.

Men don't want that, it doesn't make them feel special, it makes them feel insecure and wary.
Why would a woman want to settle when we know that the average woman wants precisely the opposite of that?

It's a red flag, if anything.

tiajoka · Answer

Guys get a girl out of his league and then he usually will get a big head and think she doesn't deserve him lol. That's why ugly guys cheat on hot girls so much more.

sheikalana · Answer

Men are completely clueless about women who are out of their league that's why some of them often get obssessed with women with whom they will lever have a chance with.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

Never understood that thing 🤷‍♂️. I hear guys talks about it all the time, scales and numbers. 90% of the people that meets me and the Mrs tells me that my wife is way too hot for me to be her man.

OpenClose · Answer

Honestly I hope it matters less to girls. I'm not much into the idea of pre-rejecting people based on where they stand on some arbitrary social hierarchy.

exitseven · Answer

I do not believe in "leagues" but I think guys think more about it.

bolverk · Answer

Not really, guys will date whomever they are attracted to the 'Level' of the woman ia meaning less.
The women on the other hand always want to date up, If they had a choice of a blue collar making a 6 figure salary or a white collar making the same 6 figure salary they will choose the white collar because of his perceived higher status.

Petermorgan3434 · Answer

“Leuages”…? That is a rather high school notion, adults don’t really care, its about who you connect with on a deep level, as well as personality matchups. A “League” is a construct of High school/ frat boy/ sorority girl, mentality. It does not exist in the real world. We may never know how things end up or who we end up with, it is one of natures unsolved mysteries

Lovesims3plumbob · Answer

It deponds on person. I seen boh ways with both gender like the challege. some yonger women did always tried to temp guys that were taken and tried to gain my trust just temp the guys that i did have a relationship at one at the time.

Realbanger87 · Answer

Leagues, preferences, calibre and types all mean the same, and all women and men have these. Whoever doesn't is braindead. This very natural system of categorizing the opposite sex is our way of finding suitable partners

Lionman95 · Answer

I doubt that guys just talk more about it. We guys are pointing out what women usually just describe.

Slartybartfast · Answer

Yeah, most guys won't approach a women much more attractive than he is.  Women date up men date down. Water is wet the sun is hot.

wankiam · Answer

im well aware other people see the notion of leagues as a basis for who they choose to date but i have never once in my life acted on such a shallow load of rubbish

TheBootyChest · Answer

I think its just a phrase men use to say that she is "better" than him or better than he deserves.

Anonymous · Answer

When I met a super hot guy at my job. He was dating in his League. He was dating and sleeping around with some BombShells. He wasn’t dating no ugly girl or obese girl or anything like that.

Hangry06 · Answer

Honestly from what i have seen, it's other people who care about leagues more. The ones judging a couple

AndrésC64 · Answer

I'd say no. I think we may be under the opinion that someone is "out of our league". And our friends certainly will let us know. But I think that men often aim high.

molonski2 · Answer

I have no idea what such a concept even is --- Its certainly NEVER been part of my life , who is to decide whos in the " league " or not? Im certainly not having others decide for me , thats for sure.

Playboy2424 · Answer

I don't believe in this scam called leagues.. it's stupidity. And I don't believe in dating either. Both are ridiculous & waste of time.

Dargil · Answer

I never have, If she is adequately attractive and shows she is accessible, that's all I need.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

NO, I just care about a girl, with a kind heart is all matters

fonduegirl · Answer

People care about leagues are either below average or attractive, meaning higher.

Babygirl_S · Answer

Yes because of the need to show off their girlfriend/wife. I never heard of the term "trophy husband".

StickStickity13 · Answer

Women actually care about it more, since women want a man of higher status than them. Men will date down a lot but women will never date down, just laterally at best.

PeterCharlie1991 · Answer

I dont personally, looks aren't important to me, long as the Girl is nice funny chatty caring and has big boobs im content

Manab · Answer

It's very hard for men to get dates than women. Women are generally hypergamous so they always date higher quality partners. Leagues can be a combination of looks, wealth, intelligence. Most men just date what they can get.

dolemite89 · Answer

i have to respectfully disagree, hypergamy is way more of a female instinct and it by definition means aiming either at or above their league. Guys usually have to either be rich and/or hung like a horse to date above their league 🤣

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Leagues aren't real. People say they are, but ultimately preferences are more apples vs oranges than they are cheap vs premium.

Luopio27 · Answer

Standards do exist for both genders. Its hard to figure out who has more forgiving standards if you compare only the most popular alfa males and females.

sab_sal · Answer

I dunno. I've only heard people talk about leagues in early 2000s movies. I honestly think it's blown out of proportion. It's not really that big of a deal

Miristheiss · Answer

Just don't date anyone that is 20,000 Leagues beneath your league.  Ya know what I'm saying?

Avicenna · Answer

I very much doubt that, given the relatively high prevalence of hypergamy among women.

Paul09 · Answer

It is sad. If you connect, You connect! No matter the league. But then also depends what You mean by league. Because in picture you used, You are only talking about looks.

ShatteringRedGalore · Answer

I have no idea. I do think many guys are insecure about them? But then again, do they even exist?

anylolone · Answer

Quite the opposite, to be honest. Every person who ever said I was out of a woman's league was a woman.

DiegoO · Answer

Lol, leagues. That's just an excuse for those who cling to their appearance.

Jackblue · Answer

Well sometimes we hear feminists complain about movies where we see an average looking guy with a very attractive woman.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No. Women care more. It's just that you're one of the exceptions.

Chthou95 · Answer

Nope. There's plenty of women on here who have mentioned leagues before. Men are just more honest about it which makes it look like they care more about dating leagues.

Jingi18 · Answer

No, that among many other things about dating are complete myths.

Crappants · Answer

im in the shit league so yea, i can only get ugly girls

Shy_Steve · Answer

There's a Difference, You Girls are going to date who you want to date pretty much but us Guys are only going to date the Girls that except us.

Do guys care about dating “leagues” more than women do?

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Do women try to date “out of their league” guys more than vice versa?

Do guys care about dating “leagues” more than women do?

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Do women try to date “out of their league” guys more than vice versa?

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