Do you date even though you have nothing to offer a person?

[Anonymous]

i know people who don't have much still date and still get married but I he that when you are dating you need to think about how you can improve their life, what makes you different from their old partner, and what do you have to offer the person? How do they benefit when dating you? Are you wroth their time?

Unfortunately for me I just don't feel like I'm ready for dating. I'm unemployed, don't have a driver's license, I'm 22 and still live with my parents, I'm a virgin so I'm pretty much going to be terrible at sex. .

I honestly don't see how I'm going to convince people to date me. I don't have anything to offer anyone.

And yes, I know of people who are worse off than me still dating but don't they worry about their partner leaving or the fact their partner isn't really benefiting being with them?

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

No, I wouldn’t date if I had nothing to offer.
I would feel like a burden and a waste of their time. Plus, if I was single and did want to date, it would give me more of a reason to actually do something to change that.
If I didn’t know how to drive, cook, clean, work, take care of kids, do taxes and pay bills… I would be doing all that I can to learn at least how to drive, cook, and clean.

[Asker]

Cooking, cleaning, driving, and doing taxes and bills can be learned but unfortunately the person could just hire someone to do these things so therefore these skills aren't beneficial in a relationship. At least to me.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Yeah, you could just hire someone to do all these things but that would make you lazy, sorry.

It’s not just about what you offer for a relationship, it’s what offer for yourself… to be independent.
If you cannot cook, clean, drive, or manage finances, you will have a hard time in life, because if you want someone to do all of those services for you, that gets costly, especially if you’re unemployed.

And if you don’t even want to learn how to do these BASIC LIFE SKILLS, it just shows that you don’t want to put in effort in your individual life and you want to rely on other people to live your life and take care of you… Which most people do not want in a partner.

In relationships, there needs to be equal effort and contributions.
If you can’t contribute at least some cooking or cleaning skills, you would be considered dead weight.

[ChiTown33]

Well at least you don't have a low opinion of yourself 🤣.
I think you're putting far too much emphasis on the tangible. Yes financial and occupational success is good. But if you have a heart that beats and you're capable of caring and loving someone and are actively working on the occupational and financial then I see no reason why you should wait.
I spent the first 40 years of my life overly concerned that I wasn't enough of a success. Now I KNOW that I am! And that anyone that feels I'm not just isn't a good match for me anyhow.
Life will have it's ups and downs hun. But all that really matters is you character, your communication, and your capacity to love.

[Anonymous]

No I don't given I can't drive, I don't make anywhere near enough to afford it (6,000 out of the required entry level 100k per year), I live at home, I'm a workaholic, I'm on the spectrum, I have a heart condition, I am slowly getting closer to being paralyzed, I'm right wing, I'm a smoker, I'm old, I'm out of shape, I'm submissive and I'm below 6' tall

So why would a try if failure is the only outcome
If it wasn't for my family I'd already be gone but when that inevitable day comes I am debating the angles of incarceration or self-elimination

[Kaneki05]

Of course. I ain't here to impress anyone, you either like me or you don't therefore you date me if you like me not because I am offering someone something.
Myself is enough.
Dating feeling like you need to offer something is just not loving yourself and makes it more of transaction than love. People should just like you for you, not you need to pay them in been able to know how to have have sex first or knowing how to cook meals for your partner, etc.

[TheFlak38]

that's 100% of women today

[Asker]

Then how are they dating? Is it because they're physically attractive? That's the only reason I'm thinking.

I know a lot of people are like me and I try not to judge others but still...