(No hate please) Is it wrong for the guy to want to get in a relationship with the girl? Is it safe? Even if they are really nice?
Is it wrong for a 16-year-old girl to date a 20-year-old man?
Superb Opinion
Legally, yes it is wrong. Morally, yes it is wrong. You’re a smart girl for asking yourself this, and I can tell you may see an issue with it already just by how you phrased the question. You’re referring to yourself as a girl, and him as a man. Nothing is wrong with being 16, and wanting to date someone older, but not at the age of 20. He could be the nicest man you’ve ever met, he could be telling you things you’ve never heard of, or making you feel things you’ve never felt. Please don’t let this fool you. Why does he want to date you? Is he trying to be intimate? From my observations, the main reasons why men date underage women is because they’re weird, and can’t obtain a relationship with someone their own age. What’s his dating history? It’s easier to take advantage of someone younger or less experienced, because everything is new and exciting to them. This sounds harsh, but ultimately he’ll rob you of your adolescence, and only leave you with unnecessary heartbreak leading to trauma, and issues in your future relationships. You can have everything you want in a relationship with a boy who’s 17 or 18. Don’t rush your youth away, tell him he’s gotta go!
Most Helpful Opinions
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Yeah it is. In some parts of the world it is the minimum age of consent at 16 so worth checking the law in your area. That being said, why would a 20yo be interested in a 16yo? Can they not form healthy and stable relationships with people their own age? Why is that? Also, you'd be in high school. Why is someone who graduated 2 or 3 years ago interested in pursuing a high schooler? A few red flags. I was a teenage girl once too. A close friend of mine became close with a 21yo guy when she was 16 and they started dating a couple days after her 17th birthday. He was 4 years older than her, which for adults isn't much of a gap, but when you're 17 and 21 it's a huge difference. She was in high school and had a casual job on weekends after school and was a young teenage girl and that guy was 21 and midway through a college diploma and working a night job. Totally different lives. I live in the UK and here in England the age of consent is 16 so it was legal, but it is still very suspicious and raises a few concerns as I mentioned in this. My friend and that guy did stay as a couple for 3 years. They broke up when she was 20 and he was 24 and a year later when that guy was 25 he got with a girl who had just graduated school and turned 18-Years-Old only a couple months ago. 😳 It definitely is a bit weird he keeps going for teenage girls. Him and that girl have been together almost 3 years now and he's 28 and she's 21 now so I guess that's a fine age gap as they're both adults but I always raise brows because why can't that guy ever date or have meaningful relationships with women their own age? Anyway, I digress. My advice? Follow what is legally permitted where you are and have a good support system and your wits about you. I personally wouldn't get involved with someone at that age until I was 18
My opinion may be biased, but I don't think it's wrong. I actually started dating my now wife of 15 years when I was 18 and she was 14. (Although we didn't know each other's age at the time, as we were in school together and she thought I was younger due to my appearance and I thought she was older due to hers) After we found out like 2 weeks in I wanted to leave it alone. But we still decided to have a relationship anyways and see how it went. However, it wasn't a sexual relationship. I graduated and left her in school. Her parents knew about me and my age and allowed me to see her under their supervision. Maybe because I respected their rules and didn't seem like a dick. Nonetheless, she got older, more freedom and here we are today as a family.
Conclusion... There is nothing wrong with a relationship of that age once it is not physical at that time, the guy is decent and respectful and the girl respects herself and is open and honest with her parents so they can guide her. Now, once she turns 18 then hey...(Chris Brown's voice)... Go Crazy.
Not much guys can wait, so if she finds one that do, he may be worth holding onto.
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Okay from the question.
quote - Is it wrong for the guy to want to get in a relationship with the girl. Unquote.
Yes, that bit is wrong, he should not WANT to get into a relationship with her, as the older person dealing with a minor he has a duty of care.
With ages it can get a bit black and white though.
Would the following be wrong a 17 yr old with a 20 yr old?
The girl could be 16 in a week and the guy 20 in 2 days.
In the UK it happens often by chance where they meet at a sports club or similar
A 16 yr old girl can look older or younger than her real age, ditto with a guy.
A lot comes down to intent of the older person, are they dating the girl or her age.
it’s one of those things that needs to be done in the open ideally with parents aware.
the other thing is for the guy peer pressure is a bitch, he will get shit from others.
safety is key to it all.
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He's probably a strange 20 year old if he's looking to date a 16 year old. But I'll answer. 😀
Is it wrong for the guy to want to get in a relationship with the girl? A: I could see it potentially being genuine. I don't know you guys. It really depends on what draws him to you. If he likes you for your body or relative lack of experience, then he's wrong. But if you're a mature 16 year old who communicates well and basically acts like the average 20 year old, then he's not wrong.
Is it safe? A: I would take a good hard look at him and ballpark how many women you think he's been with. Definitely use a condom and honestly, I'd have him take an STD test, but that's just me.
Even if they are really nice? A: Hopefully he's really nice! Guys are sweet as pie when they're interested. It's when they're uninterested that you see their true character.
Good luck love! 💕 - 537 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Define 'Safe'...
ALL potential relationships involve exposing oneself to numerous risks irregardless of One's age.
Wise 'gamblers' don't 'wager' MORE than they're prepared to lose---
"Faint heart n'ere 'won' fair Paramour~ But... use common sense regarding birth control and STD's.
"No 'glove' NO 'Lovin"... you don't wanna end up playing 'Who's yah Daddy?"
A broken heart WILL heal 'older & wiser'... naively STUPID = Abortion, Adoption or 18 years commitment of the PRIME of YOUR life!
Not to mention the 'Monday Morning Quarterbacking' ( Well I WOULD HAVE... they weren't in that sweaty back seat with him rubbin THEIR Nubbin! )
Nature evolved to 'dumb down' critical long term judgement, especially if abetted by alcohol or drugs! >:O -
I did it myself. Honestly, if I could go back in time, I would ask myself: "can I see myself marrying them?" and then making sure that he feels the same. Mine did, and I didn't know it (he never said), and then I had to move elsewhere, and... we could have married. Now, the first one I was with did something entirely inappropriate and (subtly, therefore scarily) abusive in bed. Being so young, I REally wouldn't have know it, and therefore it's like Russian roulette. It can be scarring mentally if things are bad. My vote: if I'd asked him if he felt the same, and his life showed evidence of this, then... I never ever would have dated the abusive one. So, I'd pause and ask myself and him, also take it slow, waiting until marriage being preferred. Also, check the laws in your state, make sure he won't be seen as a 'statutory rape', then you'll know how much to keep the relationship hidden from others (sorry, just being honest, some people can just want to stir up trouble for you).
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What state do you live in? In some states this would be illegal. Other states have “close in age” laws. When is your birthday?
I personally would of never dated a minor in my early 20s. A few of sister’s friends (some very attractive) had huge crushes on me too. But I just didn’t want to mess with that. It might of been “legal” but I am still dating a HS girl who is a minor. I did get in lots of age gap relationships when I got older but the girls were always at least 20.
I heard a good formula for the lowest dating age ranges should be half your age plus seven. So this guy’s bare minimum should be 17. I would wait to your birthday and double check your states age consent laws. -
Can we ask why a 20-year-old grown man is even interested in a 16-year-old girl? When I was in high school I knew this girl who got pregnant by a 29-year-old man; the way he spoke to her; or about her was odd. I got the feeling that I just didn't want to be around them. We have to ask ourselves what the heck is wrong with you to not be able to seek someone around your age or at least 18.
- 547 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Legally it’s okay (well, in most European countries at least) but personally I don’t think it’s okay.
16 year old and 20 year old are at different life stages, and after all, 16yo is basically a kid while 20yo is an adult (although most 20-year-old guys don’t act like that). -
Legally? Depends on where you live
Morally? Not gonna lie, it's extremely wrong. A four year age gap might not seem that big of a deal, however a 20 year old and a 16 year old are in completely different levels of maturity. I mean can you imagine yourself dating a 16 year old? Because to me that concept seems absurd and disgusting.
Further more the power dynamic of the relationship would be extremely unfair towards the teenager. -
That all depends, if the guy has real intentions of treating the girl right and not to use her then it's fine to date, thing is that it's hard to know a person's intentions so it's why it's considered at your own risk, sexual activities shouldn't be a part of the relationship until the girl is at least 18, the age of consent is 16 in many places around the world but it's safer this way, to prevent any problems.
- 3.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.
I wouldn't, too much difference at that age in general. In very rare scenarios where she is very mature and he is not... yes, platonic, just don't touch them.
my daughter, no way. why the heck you need to date at 16 anyway, you've got a lot of work to do to set yourself up for life. - 701 opinions shared on Dating topic.
Its legal here, a 16 year can date and even have sex with a 20 year old, but a 15 year old could not, a 4 year legal window, a 17 year old could do it with a 21 year old.
A 18 year old could a 14.
Right or wrong, depends on what you mean by that and how serious it is. Dating and nothing more, no big deal to me but having lots of sex, is risky to me. - 1.9K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Nothing wrong with that.
Well it's not safe to date anyone really so that's your judgement, I knew someone who was 16 girl with a 21 year old guy and she came onto him first and they've been together since 2012 now happily. So that gap never affected them.
Not that it wouldn't effect you.
Really just depends in that person is truly a good person but that's the risk of dating in any case. -
I was seeing an older guy when I was 16, turned out he just wanted sex. Plus it makes you wonder why they can't get someone their own age. I know I'm slightly older but I would never date a 16 year old (and dating a little younger doesn't bother me), 4 years at that age is a huge gap, you're in different development stages. He might think that by dating someone so young, they'll be easier to manipulate in to doing what he wants. My advice is don't go there.
- 11.1K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Wrong? That's complicated. A 20-year-old man who is willing to date a high school student is probably rather immature for his age.
Safe? Safe in what way? Is the young woman safe from sexual assault? That depends entirely on the man's character. Her age doesn't matter much. Women can be sexually assaulted at 16 or 26 or 36 or 46. -
it depends on where you live. the legal age is usually 18 but if it's 16 where you're at then you dont have to worry about it. it's ok to have a relationship where sex ain't involved tho or even if it's consensual your boyfriend will be charged for statuary rape
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Females usually mature faster emotionally than guys. Sex isn't a good idea until you are at the age of consent in his interest. Even if it is consentual, all it would take is one of your parents to call the cops and he will get labeled as a sex offender.
- 1.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.
That is fine, for them to date. 16 is the age of consent in 2/3rds of the states, and throughout most human history, 16 or younger was a marriageable age. Shakespeare’s Juliet was 2 weeks shy of age 14 when her parents were going to marry her off; and, at the time, people didn’t think she was too young.
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I would say be cautious and take things slow, this period is important and can shape you both.
In life timing is important, I’ll give an example….
In 4 years time no one will think anything of it he will be 24 and you will be 20.
Another example of timing…
40-50 years ago this was extremely common.
Take time & TC - 1.4K opinions shared on Dating topic.
Yes it is sick, a 20 year old women or man could so easily brainwash or take advantage of a 16 year old. Yeah, Yeah... every 16 year old these days think they are sooo smart but trust you just don't get how sick it is.
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I would think that it is wrong because he has a different social group than the 16 year old girl. Because he is older, he may or may not take advantage or her because she is young and naive
Also, it may not be legal in many places of the world -
Life isn't a fairy tale. It's usually not a good sity. Althought it's possible because a 4 year difference gets seem less wild as you get older (i. e. 20 with a 24y. o) please just be careful because you're eager but things can go south real fast.
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