1) Able to be yourself? Do you feel like you have to put on a front with your SO? Also, how nervous are you when your guard drops? Lots of abused women report having to be “on guard” 24/7 in what they say, or act or even wear. Are you always exhausted with your SO? That may be a sign. 2) Do you laugh? Like most conversations, are you laughing with each other? You don’t have to be a comedian. We laugh and have fun talking about reality shows are whatever. But unhealthy SO’s don’t laugh as much. And unhealthy mates HATE laughing at themselves. 3) Do you fight? It’s ok to. I see it more as venting, as well as fixing the relationship. But how bad the fights get is key too. Also, how fast can you makeup? 4) Do they trust you? Are they going through your phone? Always scrolling through social media, sensitive to minor flirtations from others? Do they try to control your schedule? That’s them being insecure about themselves. And is abusive.Ambiguous race, straight couple…Thanks google!
Yes. In the past, I was not in a healthy relationship, but I am in a healthy relationship now. My ex was abusive, our relationship was the opposite of all of the things I list below.
1. I am able to be my authentic self. I don’t have to hide my true colors from my partner, I don’t have to walk on egg shells when I speak my mind. I am comfortable when I allow my guard to drop, and I don’t feel exhausted in my relationship. In my past relationship, I had to hide my true self, walk on egg shells, and didn’t let my guard down.
2. We do laugh! A lot. A lot of our conversations are followed up with laugher, wheezing, and tears from laughing so hard. Obviously, none of us our comedians, but we laugh at the little quirks and things that we do. I’m serious, I don’t think I laughed this hard in my past relationship, we actually never laughed like that.
3. We have small arguments about small things. We are both stubborn and can be indecisive or very considerate of eachother, so we butt heads at times, however, it’s never about massive things. Just things like who is paying or who loves eachother more. We usually come to an agreement at the end, which settles it. My ex wouldn’t even consider me and it would end with me being ignored for hours.
4. We have a massive amount of trust in the relationship. We don’t go through each others phones, but we have each others passcodes in case we need to use the phone. Early in our relationship, my abusive ex came along and showed up at my front door, and I talked with him. He showed up at my house right when my boyfriend was out of town for the next few weeks, so that was a MAJOR thing that we both had to overcome together and he had to trust me and my judgements. He did trust me, and he didn’t doubt me at all because he knew what was going on at all times.
Very healthy, yes. I’m going through a lot and trying to keep that in mind. I slip occasionally lately out of frustration. Gratefully, they understand long before. Knowing/predicting already I’m going to slip that day. I’m a very lucky woman to have someone whom knows me so well.
1) Able to be yourself? (Yes) 2) Do you laugh? (Daily. Heartily) 3) Do you fight? (Never. We’re too open to reach that point.) 4) Do they trust you? (Absolute trust. Both ways.)
We don't fight, or really disagree at all. It's not that we get angry and let it simmer, we don't get angry. It's the same in our personal lives separate from each other. We don't really have confrontations.
I look at it in statistics. You’re most likely to find a mate they aquaintances so just keep meeting people. And that would give you experience in talking to people.
All jokes aside, I think all of my relationships (family, friendships, only partner, etc) have been toxic. I had friends who just used me for things or tossed me around whenever they felt like it. My dad constantly called me "pig" and "ugly" and many other things when I was younger, which led to me to being very insecure about my weight and physical appearance. My mom didn't really care about any of that stuff, went out and openly cheated on my dad with other dudes at work. Dad was also an alcoholic. Mom smoked cigarettes like crazy. Then my first and only boyfriend treated me like shit and made high school hell for me. Only reason him and I got together was because one of my "friends" was forcing it on me. So yeah, I have yet to actually have any normal, healthy, not toxic relationships.
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