Should I or should I not tell my boyfriend when other guys hit on me/ask me out?

[Anonymous]

Just this week at a new job, I have had three guys hit on me and two of the three ask me out. Now, I’m not trying to sound cocky at all, I’m not some raging hot goddess, I’m pretty average. I’ve been told I have a very flirty personality, but really I’m just social and very kind to others. My motto in life is to be kind to everyone unless given a good reason not to be. I feel like a lot of guys mistake my socialization and kindness as interest, unfortunately. I’m not sure that’s something I can fix, though.

Anyways, anytime this happens, I tell my boyfriend both out of respect (since some of these guys try and contact me through my social media) and also to laugh at it. Not to specifically laugh at the guys who asked me out, but laugh because no matter what guy approaches me, I will only ever want my boyfriend. I feel like I’ve made it very clear to him that’s how I feel, and I think he understands because he tells me he’s not worried that anything would happen between me and these men. I worry though because I don’t want him to ever feel threatened in any way, I want him to know I’ll always choose him. I thought about it, and I think I would be uncomfortable if he told me about all the girls coming after him. I’d feel he was trying to prove to me there are other options or something. So should I stop telling him when this stuff with other guys happens? I know I’m overthinking, but I just want to be a good girlfriend.

[Paul_in_Indy]

I guess your boyfriend is a natural person to talk to you about your day. You might tell him about an annoying marketing phone call or a weirdo you saw driving like a maniac or a ridiculous question someone asked you…or how you got hit one by some loser.

But you don’t have an obligation to tell him. He doesn’t have a right to demand an accounting of every wink that is tossed your way.

As far as NOT telling him: I think if those stories seem to stress him out or depress him, you might consider just glossing over that part of your day—unless it’s a case where you need support or advice.

If you feel afraid to tell him because of how he will respond, I encourage you to take a step back and consider your relationship realistically.

[SometimesASiren]

I'm married and work in a male dominated industry. Also, my personality seems a lot like yours, so I totally understand your dilemma!

I've found that overall, transparency is the best policy. I'll let my husband know when someone new starts giving me attention, if someone makes an overt advance, when someone asks me out multiple times, or if someone is genuinely alarming me. The fact that he always knows what's going on gives him comfort.

What I won't tell him is hypothetical scenarios. If I can see a small to medium possibility of someone doing something shady on the horizon, I'll usually talk to my friends, mom, or stepmom about it and document it. Then I'll start jotting down every action the man has taken that makes me think that way. I'm not going to ring an alarm in my husband's head until there's reason to.

[Aditiiiiii20]

Yea maybe you should stop telling him. Anyways those guys are gonna be rejected so there is no need for your boyfriend to know about them unless he himself asks.
I don't think there is anything wrong in it but he might feel that you're trying to make him jealous or something... so it's better to stay on the safe side

[Ευδεμονια]

I sincerely think you should tell him everything. The main basis of a relationship is trust, so he can trust you more if you tell him what happens to you and you show also him your choice will be always him, as you said.
Also, telling him can be helpful if these men will be harassing in some ways, since your man can help you dealing with it.

[Birdlegs]

My ex used to tell me when guys would hit on her and I always laughed at it. She even let me go through her dm’s and let me respond to the guys in there it was fun

[Wise4myage]

Come on, don't be stupid.

[Asker]

Please enlighten me as to how I’m being stupid.

[Wise4myage]

Telling your boyfriend would just cause drama.

[RuthlessAggression]

If you want to play the jealousy game, sure