What’s your opinion on a guy in a relationship having a “girl best friend”?

[Anonymous]

Do you think it’s appropriate? What things do you think cross the line when it comes to being “just friends”? Eg is staying round at each other’s houses, or getting involved in close family events ok?

[dustybiker]

That would be me in my friends cases. And most of their woman didn’t trust me until I made comments about when they were going to propose to their woman already. Just talk to her. Ask her questions.

[Sparkie460]

There's nothing wrong with having a woman best friend. If you've been friends for a long time and you just get a girlfriend, she should have to accept it as long as you are just friends

[CelticCrusader]

Is it acceptable for a girl to have a guy best friend?

[Asker]

Yes, if there’s boundaries set and the guy best friend isn’t taking precedence over the boyfriend!

[CelticCrusader]

Fair

[BarryLiverstone]

My besties a girl and she was at my house a few weeks ago for a sleepover. No worries

[BarryLiverstone]

Do you see any reasons why that is a negative? Of course she’s involved in fam events when she’s around

[Asker]

It just makes a girlfriend feel quite pushed out when it’s always the girl best friend getting involved instead!

[BarryLiverstone]

One thing that helps if the girlfriend becoming friends with the bestie. Certainly I wouldn’t exclude my girlfriend from events and bring my bestie. Does that happen to you?

[Asker]

Yes that’s my problem! I almost don’t mind if we’re both invited! But it’s always her being invited to family events whilst I’m not, I guess it just makes me feel less important!

[BarryLiverstone]

Ok so that’s def an issue. When you talked to your boyfriend and explained how his priorities should be on you and how inviting her makes you feel inferior what did he have to say?

[Asker]

I’ve said it a few times and he just says I’m being crazy because I wouldn’t kick up a fuss if he was inviting one of his guy friends. To be honest now I’ve just stopped even expressing when it upsets me because it’ll cause more problems than good:/

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s not good. He isn’t listening to how you feel and in reaction you are closing up. That’s gonna cause your emotional connection to weaken. Does he listen to your emotions on other matters?

[Asker]

To be honest the only issues we’ve ever had are to do with his close relationship with other girls and me feeling left out in that way, so I’m not sure about other issues! I don’t wanna cause a fuss so I don’t say anything anymore but you’re right it does make me feel disconnected from him-plus he’s know his girl mate longer than me so I feel it’s not my place to comment on their friendship!

[BarryLiverstone]

Make sure you try to talk to him again. I’m sure you really like the guy and want the relationship to succeed. But think about if this causes you to withhold how you feel then other issues will follow the same pattern when they pop up.

He needs to learn how to actively hear you. Validate how you feel and then make a decision on how to act. The fact that he dismisses your feelings isn’t healthy for either of you

[Asker]

I agree! I really wanna speak to him, because he’s genuinely quite reasonable but I know as soon as I say anything about his girl best friend he’ll get very defensive like ultimately I think she means more to him than I do sadly!

[BarryLiverstone]

Have you met her. Are you friends with her?

[Asker]

I've met her briefly once for literally about 10 minutes and that’s all! I can’t imagine we’ll ever be friends because we live quite a distance away from each other!

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s why there is the issue. You and your boyfriend should plan a few meetups so you can interact with her and so she can see that he is your boyfriend. How can she attend fam events if she lives so far away?

Sorry I’m going beyond your initial question. Feel free to follow me and we can talk it out

[Asker]

I clicked follow ahahha! Well me and my boyfriend met at college but she’s his friend from back home so that’s how all the family stuff works out!

[jahaims]

Why wouldn't it be okay?