Hi, I understand how you feel. If you're very selective or sensitive you will feel this way. Most girls need guys to make them complete. I was more reserved and studied the guys coming around me. I was choosy until I got the right one. You don't have to follow them. Just be yourself, be friendly and open to relationship but do not compromise unnecessarily. Life is not a competition. Everyone has their time, some later than others.
Individual differences. Mainly some have lower standards and run wider social circles.
PS. I hear you, sis. Dating is so much hardwork, lol.
Thank you, sis. It so is lol
Opinion
53Opinion
1. The biggest single difference is that they make finding a relationship partner a top priority in their lives. You clearly don't. Those girls may spend 4 or more hours a day seeking a partner - day in and day out - until they find one. When you put substantially more effort into something, you are far more likely to achieve it.
2. In some cases, it may be that they are more willing to hold lower (by which I mean more reasonable and realistic) standards, instead of just looking at guys who are tall, handsome, popular, and have big incomes. This will broaden their pool of potential partners tremendously.
I'm sure you have friends who are always employed - who can get laid off unexpectedly on a Wednesday and be headed off to work at their new job on Monday. And you probably have other friends who are unemployed for months or more when they get laid off. The difference is that the former people were always preparing for a layoff and were maintaining a network of friends and colleagues that they could reach out to if it ever happened - they were doing the work and doing it in advance. The latter group searches the job listings for 30 minutes every 2 or 3 days, watches a lot of TV, plays a lot of video games, and hangs out with their friends. It's no surprise that it takes them far longer to get a new job.
Thank you great answer.
Here are my secrets.
1. Know what's on the market, the cream of the crop, what you are looking for, and how to appeal to those sorts. For example, guys could be into motorsports, gamers, sports enthusiasts, etc. I'm into outdoorsy slightly red-neck guys who are well-established, healthy life-style. Those types of guys would prefer a girl who is equivalent to that.
2. Meet your own expectations equivalent to the guy you want. I got a post-edumacation. I got myself a solid job. I got my self stable in all the departments. I'm not cra-cra. I want a hot guy, so I better be attractive. I want a guy who is clean/organized, I better be that too. Therefore I should be able to find the equivalent.
3. Know where to find the guys. Online dating sites are a pretty good option. Next, school or job (though with the caution. So I'd approach these with well-established friendships first prior to dating). Hobbys, groups, clubs.
4. Dating profile: Have some great pics of yourself showing the things you love to do. Pic says a thousand words. Make your profile funny and entertaining. List the 'group' of guys you want to appeal to, not the individual. Think of it as a resume. Best foot forward. I appealed to outdoor guys. Then I filtered through them for what I wanted specifically. With online dating, it isn't necessary to chit chat for months. Instead, ask very specific filter questions and if they pass the test just ask them for coffee and meet in person.
5. If you are interested in him, tell him. Ask for coffee: Basically, if you are talking to a guy and there is a good vibe and you are interested, find out if he is single. You can even go the cheap way "Tell me about your girlfriend... Oh you're single? Want lunch?" North American guys tend to be shy, so just initiate and don't miss your chance. If he says no, great! That is a good thing. He obviously sees something you don't which says a relationship won't work. Easy! Move onto the next one.
6. Coffee dates: If you are shy, these may take practice to master. Basically, know what you want and be confident. The guy I'm seeing now, I gave him a really tough time on the first date. I asked him lots of hard questions about his career, interests, what he is looking for, politics, religion, etc. It didn't push him away, in fact he was impressed and wanted to see me again. Great! My filter is working!
7. Take is slow with strangers: Physical contact tends to create bonding which you don't want with strangers. You want to be friends first. I tell them my intentions. I draw the line of what I allow in the physical department/when. I prioritize my comfort level always. If they complain about me not being physical enough, Great! I'll move onto the next guy.
8. Know is a guy is relationship material: This is the harder one. Hopefully through all my above steps, 4 to 6 months of seeing each other, I'll know the guy well enough. What flags does he have? Can I handle his weaknesses and support him? Does he support me? What do I think of his family? How would he be with my family? Does he seem like a long-term marriage for life sort? If yes, then I'll start a relationship.
When I'm single, I can normally find a guy (online) within a couple of weeks. I probably spend several months filtering guys before I find someone I choose to get to know. Different towns offer different too and can be harder or easier.
I have noticed the same. They break up and within a week have a new boyfriend. Sometimes next day.
Some obvious answers. 1/ they are not too picky and any guy/relationship will do 2/their antenna for male interest is sharp 3/ they are good at chatting guys up.
Also they might have been grooming the next boyfriend whilst with the first. One of my male friends maintains all the good girls are already taken. So he maintains platonic friendships so he is in the box seat to scoop them up if the girl break ups with her current boyfriend.
For myself I have always been picky so it has always been a long time between drinks. One of the most beautiful and charming girls I know claims she can't get a boyfriend. I think she should have a queue of eager guys.
The only thing I can think of is that she doesn't signal her interest to guys she is interested in. The most effective way a girl can invite a guy out is to express a desire to go to x, do y, watch z. You can make it positively ungentlemanly for him not to ask if you would like to xyz with him. XYZ should be within his interests but it doesn't matter he has already seen that boy movie.
Its worked on me.
As a serial dater, I’ve noticed I have a need to feel wanted, and when I experience this need I pretty much know how to present myself to men in a way that seems fun and flirty. Once I am in the relationship the need to feel wanted grows and so I maintain longer term relationships by becoming a people pleaser - because I in turn want them to feel like they need me. Once the relationship ends I just need the feeling of being wanted again.
Long story short, it’s a bit of a problem. And I’m working on my abandonment issues. 😅you being okay with being single is what I strive to be. So enjoy !
I dont think I could survive your drama. LOL
Aww no I wish I was more like you! And put myself out there more tbh. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be wanted by other people, it's human.
How some girls find boyfriend's so quickly:
I met one girlfriend in a grocery store. She wanted me to get something from a shelf she couldn't reach. After I handed it to her, she thanked me and thanked me. So glad I happened along. That I was tall. That she's short and depends on tall people. Why do stores put stuff up there? Oh, I'm Jan. What's your name? Jan is short for Janice but you probably figured that out. You're such a gentleman to help me. Do you shop here often?
After a while we had a regular conversation and did our shopping together. She gave me her phone number and we started dating.
No, it was not coincidence. It was intentional on her part. She picked me up.
in my experience, if you are single for a long time, your ex fucked you up real good, not like other exes haven't put you through shit, but you believed it was your ex and not you or the way things play out that was the reason you're single. if you can bounce back up into a new relationship right away, you didn't want to stop being in one, just with them. it's been 5 years for me sis, my last ex got me questioning what is the point of even talking to guys. moral of the story is: if you tell someone you love them, and you break up, it's gonna be really really hard to believe in it again.
It's a combination of behavior and ignoring red flags.
After highschool it was hard for me to stay single because I didn't have standards, ignored red flags, and my meek behavior attracted the wrong type of guys (predatory types). It wasn't until I started actively developing healthy boundaries and expectations for men that I met my fiance.
But even though I went through that hardship, I'm glad to have the experience.
Sorry you went through that x
No worries I brought it on myself. I'm happy I didn't have a child or marry one of those guys.
It’s getting really weird seeing this anonymous account answering for me. What’s creepier is that when I click on their account it links to my profile? But it wasn’t even me that wrote those answers? I don’t answer anything anonymously, you’ll always see my name pop up when I answer
@nocturnalbaby what the heck are you talking about? I posted this question.
I mean if we are being honest it’s not that difficult for a women to find a potential someone to date, in sure this doesn’t apply to you but I would say are you actively talking to people with intentions? One thing I noticed about these types of girls that are always in relationship is that they are very good at conversations and are actively talking to people. The more people you talk to or even know the more likely you will have those opportunities. So are you taking that extra step at being social and consistently meeting people?
It's difficult to answer that without knowing anything else about you.
For example its hard for me to find a girlfriend because I am home most of the time, and the type of woman I like is also home most of the time doing the same hobbies I am, and there are very few women making themselves visible in the games I play, and online dating is mostly rigged, and most of my hobbies are not social.
In my opinion my " relationship to relationship " never lasted past 5 months. Finally I decided to stay single and focus on myself. 4 years of being single I finally found a guy that is like my dream guy, and we met in a way I wasn't expecting to happen. We were gaming online helping each other out in this game and during the whole time we were just talking. Now we've been together for 5 years now.
Waiting is better. For some people they get lucky.
Most women that I know who do this do one or two things. 1. They set up potential partners for when their relationship ends. Basically they keep flirting and being a little provocative to keep multiple guys strung along, just in case. 2. They jump into a relationship with whoever happens to be a dude and single until a guy comes along that they like. The old saying " You loose them how you got them" comes to mind. These women are nothing but toxic creatures who are afraid to be alone for even a week.
That's okay, I find seeking a female mate bloody well frickin' hard to no end,... yet other guys that I know always seem to achieve on getting all of the women faster than a blink of an eye. I don't know how, but it baffles the hell out of me to no end. Here I am trying to get a girlfriend so one day she'll be my long term like a common-law or a wife,... and the rest of those guys can get themselves a shit ton of wives, fiancées, girlfriends, love interests, sugar babies, sugar mamas, baby mamas and side-chicks.
I've been single now for about either 5 or over 5 years now, and I'm still deciding to either call it quits or not, meanwhile all of these ladies are very, very, VERY rapidly jumping all over these guys like these ladies men / men whores are going to be extinct incredibly beyond quick!
Just understand that a woman that jump between relationships to relationship is losing in the game. Because it's proof she can't keep a guy and/or is bad at picking one. So to become that you simply need to lower your standards or expand your social circle. It's also the woman that teaches men about what to expect, that it's just your turn and it won't last which obviously cause it to not last for sure.
If a girl takes care of how she looks and has great presentation of her social skills she will always succeed in garnering the attention of interested men. Her chances increase if she is friendly and confident in herself…an extrovert perhaps. Those awesome types of women will almost always have a man in their lives.
Dont be a follower just be you from the inside out.. sometimes when girls do this is because they are not being patient. Sometimes everything has to line up just right. For that one person who is right for you. These girls are making it very difficult for that to happen for them
Well. Sometimes it takes a while to find someone who is firstly interested in your and secondly you are interested in them. You might get rejected but that does not say anything bad about you either.
Just put yourself out there a bit. Besides even if men approach you, you will only have the options from people who say hi to you.
I recommend you spend more one-sided time with guys! I feel like the more you do it the greater your chances will be at finding a partner because that's how connections are built whether it leads to a friendship or a romantic relationship.
Guys just hit on me, ask me out... sometimes it would literally be a friend waiting for me to be single to make a move, or a co-worker.
I had to choose to be single, rather than jump... jumping is exhausting and I needed me time between.
I find it really difficult to understand women not getting a date. Unless you're very obese you should have a large selection of guys online to choose from. Do you have morbid obesity or other health issues keeping you from interacting normally with men?
Not at all. The only thing is that the guys I want always just want sex with me & they don’t wanna take me out on dates, or the guys that do want to take me out on dates are guys I’m not attracted to so I just reject them. So no, I’m not obese or anything, I think it’s just me being picky
Lol basically... go places, expand your social circle and look cute
Hahaha very true
Well for some people dating is a hobby and some make it as a priority. Those who consider it as a hobby get bored easily and jump from one relationship to another. Those who take it as a priority, work on making the relationship better for each other, they respect and understand each other.
I think they take time out to focus on themselves and do fun things for a bit and come back to it, that’s how it starts. Maybe you need to change up your approach?
Going out more often , going to the mall or just out to eat or even going to the grocery store. Sometimes guts will approach you. How often do you go out?
Who goes to the mall in 2022? And why would “guts” approach me?
Depends.
If the goal is to just get a boyfriend then that's easy, but to get someone you actually someone that you like as a boyfriend is another story.
They are less picky. Or in some cases have a better network so can line up their next relationship before the current one ends.
They usually have really low standard and the relationships are usually crappy though lol
I feel a BIT called out. But I can offer my advice! FLIRT. Make the first move. Walk across the room and introduce yourself. Shy guys are the nice ones, not the flirty guys. If you're the approacher, he's probably a good guy!
You chose that no relationship is better than a short lasting one.
I can't answer this because after age 30 this was never a problem for me now that there's something called the internet or work.
Just date me problem solved lol. But it's probably got to do with their confidence or approaching more men.
Probably an open, friendly personality, Smile and look the guy you like, in the EYES... he will respond.
They ignore the red flags and jump into relationships.
Swipe yes on tinder and actually go out to meet them?
It's not just gals having trouble finding a good match, guys find it difficult as well.
I don't know they go outside be at least average looking and wait for men to approach them. Or they go on dating apps and have their pick from 1000s of men. I don’t know how any woman in this day and age can’t find a boyfriend I really don’t
I don't know maybe their looks and personality both are good.
m Some persons (m/f) have magnetic personalities. I experienced that myself.
Probably because your a feminist who supports the lgbt community
No 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
give dudes a chance on tinder and FBD. If you’re fat, buy some stims or get a script for em and start fasting. Or if you have the time and willpower diet and exercise. Guys want a trophy
Maybe they aren't as selective as you are.
I think this is partly the reason. For some reason I can't seem to find anyone I really like
This is a bit creepy. Somebody is somehow using an anonymous ‘asker’ account to pose as me & is answering for me? I know for sure I didn’t write these answers
@nocturnalbaby What? There was no connection between this question and you until you posted that reply.
@slatyb exactly. It’s so strange.
Yea I usually stay away from people like that. Just my experience but there usually not comfortable with them selves and can be manipulative.
Not saying there all like that just my experience.
Trust me, either they know how to approach men and let it be known or those girls are for the streets.
I don't know but go to some churches those men will bless you
Depends on the girl.. If she's attractive and gets out a lot , I'm sure she's getting hit on.
But some other girls don't feel comfortable meeting new people or are afraid to make it known they are interested in you..
Yes totally agree with you on this, it's almost impossible most times now,,, whereas more girls just jump out of 1bed and into another 😂immediately,, he is a big boy now and needs lots on pussy to keep him quiet, but just not happening 🤣🤣🤣
You answered your own question within the question: "They jump from relationship to relationship."
Think about it...
You're probably not putting yourself out there.
I agree, I think I need to put myself out there more
Because they are sluts. And just always need a man whether he's right or not. Men dont take these girls seriously.
You walk up to a random horny dude and tell him he can throatfuck you if you get together. I would say you have pretty good odds if you look decent.
Wear something slutty like a short skirt and the boys will come from miles around lol
@skycastle90
depends on your looks fitness and confidence and personality without getting to see and know them a bit more hard to say.
dm me
I’d have to see your photo but you probably just aren’t as extroverted and attractive as them
Extroversion is the most overrated personality trait ever invented. It has absolutely nothing to do with a relationship.
I'm quite attractive not to be big-headed, but I am a bit introverted. I'm friendly, I also like going out but more introverted
@FredisFrank I agree. Plenty of guys still date shy girls but they’re still less likely to find a guy than a girl who flirts with a million guys
@WhiteBoyChill I appreciate the honesty
Wait that’s weird. Somebody anonymous posted as me as the asker… why would you pretend to be me & make up what you think my answer will be? Come on
Well it’s true that I’m not that extroverted but the attractive part you can’t really say since you haven’t seen me. I’m definitely attractive but I’m just not super outgoing which might be the main reason. It’s more about personality than looks from what I’ve noticed
@nocturnalbaby? Lol. I’m so confused, the answer was directed at me. You aren’t the asker of the question.
I go out and date a lot but I wouldn’t say they are boyfriends. Probably looks that way to other people though.
I am pretty sure these girls ask men out on the regular and do not fear rejection. Very good for them.
I know and when most of them are Single they say they like being Single.
how do you think they get them?
think about it and how you're different.
Well I like to get to know you if possible in day and age kinda hard to meet people due to social media
Risk. Some chance it others don’t.
Let people do whatever they want to with their lives, seems like u might be a bit insecure. If u wanna be in a relationship you should get out there.
What? I never attacked anyone. Seems like I hit a nerve there.
No need to be rude
Ops sorry I only read the question and not the extra information, thought you were being passive aggressive lol
Its ok x
I don’t appreciate this anonymous account answering pretending to be me. But yeah you should always read the extra info because the question itself is always too short & not enough to ask what I need to. There’s no reason I’d be trying to ask this in a passive aggressive way
@nocturnalbaby again, please stop pretending you are the asker. It says “asker” not anonymous on my answers because I wrote this post.
Many people are simply whores and attention seekers. Appearances can be deceiving...
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