Did I have the conversation too early?

[Anonymous]

I connected with a guy and we seem to be on the same wavelength with most things. We have been talking for about two months and have been on about 5 dates.

During the course of our convesation I was telling him about a friend of mine who had a virtual date scheduled and that i wish i was more extroverted like her. He misunderstood what i had said and stated that its not too late for me to do virtual dates. So i jokingly asked is that a subtle hint for me to start dating other people? He replied with i don't think so. So i just was blunt and asked "i know we haven't had the exclusivity talk and all but that i wanted to focus on this connection for now and that if we aren't' on the same page now would be a good time to have a check in" I also explained that hadn't ment the "virtual dating" bit but that i wanted to be more extroverted in general.

Later i had referred to him potentially meeting my mom To which he responded with ohh see that's progress sounds like I may one day meet her. And my snark came in and I said "Lool dont' get too excited especially when you are like yeaaa go have virtual dates. But sure if things progress, why not?". Which is when he sorta addressed it and said he is not seeing anyone else but doens't want to rush into lables. I agreed and told him i am not in a place to want to rush anything either but that i do want to ensure we are both on the same page about stuff to avoid any misunderstandings. I did also mention that i wasn't seeing anyone else but I would defienetly do anothercheck in if and when we decided to get fully physical (we haven't had sex yet) as i would not be down to sharing. I left it at I will trust you to be upfornt and have a conversation with me if something shifts with us. We continued to chat about other things during the night. So i guess i am curious to know, if after 5 dates or so if a girl wanted to do a check in if that will freak out a guy? Please advise, and once again sorry for the long post.

[HollyK21]

Not too early at all. In fact I personally ask what a man’s intentions are for talking to me as soon as I can (at least when I was single, I’m not anymore). Dating with intention is important, not something to be ashamed of, and if your questions send him running for the hills then he was not serious about dating. A lot of men fear over-investing, but that’s a whole other story. Anyway, I think the whole virtual dating thing was essentially him saying you are still free to date, which to me says a lot about where he stands vs where you stand, which is trying to progress, have him meet your mom, etc. This is a guy who’s leaving his options open, and if you met online he likely has other women in mind. If I were you, I’d ask him what he’s looking for right now and if it’s to “take it slow”, then cut him off. He will only waste your time.

[In_Trance]

You blew it