What is a good timeline for this conversation?

[Anonymous]

I'm 27, I've been seeing this guy (my same age) for about a month now. We met online and talked a couple weeks before we met up.

So far, everything has been pretty good. Our dates are great and we get along well. Earlier on we discussed what we were looking for and are on the same page about wanting a partnership.

But my anxiety here comes in, because while our time TOGETHER is great, when we don't see each other, the communication is iffy. We DO have some sort of contact daily. But nothing to the extent that it is reassuring for me. He does have an important job and is busy, so I'm not expecting to hear from him while he's at work or anything. But when you typically only get to see each other once a week, it's not crazy to want better conversation is it?

Also, when would be a good time to have a check in talk about what we're doing here? I'm going to see him this weekend and was thinking, depending how it goes, to check in with that. Or is it too early for me to be pushy?

[quaranta]

You are on the same page about wanting a relationship, but are you actually in a relationship already? Probably not. Until you agree about being exclusive to each other and ready to start something, you shouldn't expect the stability that comes with that, yet. You might be on the same page, but you aren't running at the same pace. You want to check what he is doing during the day, but he isn't checking the same about you or is not spontaneously sharing it, it seems. You should take it more casually just like he does, until things are more "official" (also because, he might be in contact with other girls and didn't choose yet, so he might be keeping it casual until he does - which means you should keep contacts with the other guys too, casually).
If you push his pace, it might push him away because he would start noticing you are rushing it, you are too demanding, needy/clingy, putting expectations on him while nothing was settled yet, etc. (I understand this very well, I'm extremely allergic to this even in friendships).
In general, keep this rule for now: if he doesn't respond enough to your inputs, do not make it even more unbalanced by putting even more on the plate, but wait for him to put the same before adding ("giving" as in even just, spending effort in thinking about him like right now, initiating conversations, asking questions, poking without concrete reasons, availability etc). Rewarding unbalancement by reinforcing it just makes things go right in the most unwanted direction your anxiety is picturing.
Just keep being yourself putting mental effort in your daily life as you were doing before knowing him, with a leap of trust. If you become exclusive, that trust will be repaid.

On the other side, maybe he is just not into small talks at all (regardless of exclusivity) and prefers talking about concrete things. I am of this type too, I can't stand talking about "hey what are you doing", "how are you" only and I don't put any effort in replying to those things, sometimes I even forget completely, or get annoyed. He might see talking as a source of entertainment and brain food, not as a source of reassurement (that doesn't need any content), because he maybe doesn't have trust issues. However, if your trust issues persist, later in the relationship you can bring this up like something to "manage together", but for the initial stage I'd say to resist and monitor the unbalancement and the difference in your paces, preventing them.

[Guy13]

This is so very far from a committed relationship and your thinking is going to prohibit it from being one. You are already focused and functioning on the negatives. Stop it and define what you two want. Stop thinking and obsessing about it and do something about it in a clear and cogent discussion. You two are 30 years old acting like 15.

[EricJonesAB]

I think it's best to just do what you want. Contact him more often if you like, and when you meet up this weekend ask him if he wants to be exclusive with you.