Is it weird to ask my fiance if he exchanges memes with his female coworker?

Question

She is a female coworker, only female in the office who he's done lots of favors for (dropping her to the airport, being her dnd, driving her out to lunch, giving her dating advice, listen to her rants about men). One time while we were out at a concert he and I held hands in front of her. He said "I'm pretty sure we made her jealous." A month before he proposed to me, his coworker mentioned that she sent him a meme on instagram. My fiance sends me memes on instagram almost daily. Sometimes it will be a meme about his work, which signals that he may be exchanging memes with her. One time he was texting her and he told me she says hi. I asked to see her text and he said "Why? Do you think she sends me nudes?" I never even brought up that idea so it was weird. He told me he would invite his coworkers to his wedding but did not mention her name. He admitted to me once that he asked a trick question to his coworkers about sex. She was one of them he asked. Overall I don't feel assured that he is not into her. Would it be alright to ask if they exchange memes on instagram?

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

It's alright to ask whatever you need, but do so in as open and compassionate a manner as you can.

Trust is important in a relationship - especially since be wants to marry you.

Ask what you need of your partner, as politely and gently as you can. Use "I" statements, like "I know [coworker] is a good friend of yours, and I'm not trying to stop that. I feel really special when you send me memes during the day, and I'm wondering if you send her memes daily, too?".

And then you also need to think - it doesn't need to be just the meme thing, that's just all I've got to go by right now - what do you want from him, and why?

Do you want daily memes to be the thing the two of you do? (If yes, does he send daily memes to any of his other friends? Would he have to stop these, too?) Or is it just that you want to be able to know he's not romantically interested in her?

Have a serious talk. And if he can't manage to be serious for a talk, you know he'll never be able to have them even after you get married.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

They sound awfully flirty. Go ahead and ask. But he might lie about it.

curiousbabyboo · Accepted Answer

Even when I am with my girlfriend, I taunt her by going on dinner with my female friends (single and in relationships). She tells me if I want I can sleep with them too, she knows deep inside I won't. If you can't trust him, that's your problem. You can't keeo him caged like a labrat, so either trust him or get on with life and move on.