You were 75 pounds overweight and got rejected by a crush. You lost the weight and now they are interested. Do you give them a chance?

[coachTanthony]

Sure why not

Hell No

see poll ( Happy Friday Coach )

A total of 296 votes were cast: 139 girls and 157 guys. See detailed results

[WonderBell99]

I am not attracted to overweight people, because it signifies a lack of disciplined lifestyle and a healthy diet. I am attracted to men who take care of themselves and care about their health and appearance.

Being obese/overweight can also cause numerous health problems in the future. It is possible to be overweight because of certain diseases which does not allow one to lose weight or factors like BCP etc, but I wouldn't be attracted to someone who is obese and if I was obese, I would understand if someone is not attracted to me. It's THEIR preference, I have no reason to be offended. HOWEVER, if my partner got heavier by a few pounds when we're in a relationship, I would not leave him or put him down. I would encourage him to lead a healthier lifestyle and ask him to hit the gym with me so that we can have a great bonding time!

If they had rejected me politely, and had other qualities I look for in a partner, I would go out with them. But if they ridiculed me or was unnecessarily rude, I would not even consider going out with them. It would be a "thank you, next" from me!

I would wonder if they only like me for my looks though. I would be cautious at first.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

And then what? If you gain the weight back, he'll dump you? Yeah no... People can go through changes, and it's not always just unhealthy lifestyle..

My second husband was heavier for awhile, when he died, he weighed 160lbs... I'd rather the heavier here be here, than the 160lbs we buried.. The person should always be more important than the outer "shell"

So too, what if after she lost all that weight, and "he" gains? She should dump him then, right? (Yep, sarcasm lol😇)

[AlphaMale1]

Weight loss over a period of time is very, VERY difficult to maintain. I had bariatric surgery in 2007 and lost 103 pounds. Today I have gained back 61 of those pounds even tho I still watch what I eat, just not as much. So if some guy would not accept you when you were heavier keep in mind what is he going to do when your attractive, slender new you begins to resort back with a few pounds here and there...

[OlderAndWiser]

You can say "hell, no" but I doubt that you have taught them "a lesson." More importantly, if you are a fat cow and someone isn't interested, then you should take some responsibility for being an unattractive fat cow; blaming others for the consequences of you being globular is just stupid. It's not THEIR fault that you were unattractive!

[SoftCliff]

People can gain weight due to a variety of reasons, such as thyroid and hormonal imbalances, autoimmune diseases, pcos, depression or taking some medications, emotional and psychological problems.. In this case, it's not their fault for being an "unattractive fat cow"

[OlderAndWiser]

@SoftCliff . . . and those reasons are very rarely the real cause of someone being fat. The overwhelming majority of cases of obesity are caused by eating too damned much food, eating the wrong foods, and not getting any exercise.

[SoftCliff]

Actually if you googled it, you would surprised at how many adults have health problems. According to statistics about 40% of Americans suffer from some sort of chronic disease.
There's no way to tell who is lazy and who isn't

[OlderAndWiser]

@SoftCliff Great logic. Spectacular. 40% of adults have chronic health problems so YOU don't know how many of them are fat because of their conditions. Well, what are those conditions? High blood pressure and diabetes. Hypertension does not cause diabetes. Most people who develop diabetes do so because of ther poor eating habits.

Are you a fat girl? Is that why this is bothering you? If so, and if you think you have a medical condition causing you to be fat, then say so.

[SoftCliff]

"Six in ten Americans live with at least one chronic disease, like heart disease and stroke, cancer, or diabetes"

https://www.cdc.gov/chronicdisease/index.htm

A lot of these medications taken for heart diseases, such as beta blockers and spironolactone can cause weight gain as a side effect. Same goes for chemotherapy

www.cancercenter.com/.../weight-gain-during-chemotherapy

Of course being lazy or feeling unmotivated to work out, might be a possibility too.
No, I've been normal weight my whole life, except for once, but I don't see what this has to do with my comment.

Of course, no one says you have to date someone you're not attracted to, but we should always be kind and empathetic to others, that was my point

[OlderAndWiser]

@SoftCliff I am not chasing after people to tell them that they are fat. I keep my opinions to myself UNLESS I AM ASKED (as I was asked in this posting.)

[SoftCliff]

Understandable but it could have been phrased in a different way.. I didn't expect this from a Christian and an educated person like you

[OlderAndWiser]

@SoftCliff Sometimes, people needto hear the truth in a very blunt way for it to break through their defenses.

[2facedfa1ry]

If they rejected me nicely and were otherwise nice to me when i was fat then i'd date them. it's not bad to not want to date people your not attracted to, it doesn't make you a dick it's just biology

If he was mean to me because of my weight/rejected me badly then there's not way i'd ever date them. i got some self respect

[coachTanthony]

Great answer

[SoftCliff]

I don't know as, I've never been in a similar situation before, but the answer would likely be no. Most people tend to get over their former crushes eventually at some point.

Which person would hold on, or go back to someone, who rejected you (especially if it was in a bad way)? Like where's your self-respect/dignity?

[coachTanthony]

Well if it's in a bad way I would hope the answer is NO

[OnlyOneMe34]

I’d say yes. it’s a compliment. if he rejected you due to your previous size then I get it.


i’ve said to myself many times “she’s funny, super nice, and would be super cute if she lost some weight”. being 75 lbs overweight can be (not all the time) an indicator that a person is not taking care of themselves properly.


it’s like a physically beautiful woman but has other obvious issues (arrogant, needy, fake, etc) i want nothing to do with her other than to knock her down a peg. she may be great for a good f—- and a notch in a man’s belt but she has those indicators that’s she’s not taking care of herself, which are actually turn-offs.


Not sure if that makes sense but it’sThat’s jnot sure if that makes sense but it’s ust my opinion!.

[Anonymous]

I'm overweight by 20-30lbs but I also happen to be quite active. I also volunteer, etc. and do a ton of things for the community because that's my nature. I don't judge people.

And, bluntly put, someone so shallow who doesn't understand that the body is just a shell - doesn't understand it means nothing about personality, etc., unless the person purposefully doesn't look after themselves & that's why obese - isn't worth giving the time of day.

[Opinion Owner]

What when a) they have an inferior toxic personality & b) they're uneducated / ignorant / too dumb for my interests as diseases such as underactive thyroid & medicine do cause obesity.

[coachTanthony]

Nobody is arguing what causes obesity. The point is most people aren't attracted to obesity no matter what the cause is.

[Opinion Owner]

20-30lbs isn't obesity -- for all you know, that's 20lbs of bone & muscle when I happen to do Crossfit gym. If I go off the stupid BMI I am overweight. I said I volunteer & do a lot of things for the community so the implication that I am lazy is nonexistent.

I gave it as an example of how shallow people judge without knowing anything & you did exactly that. Just as how people will say someone obese is lazy when it can be a medical problem why.

Now the people that behave in such a fashion are not worth much time in life. Why?

Because they're the same sort of losers who'd dump their boyfriend or girlfriend if they got cancer or were in a serious accident that left them scarred. Shallow. The only way they feel good about themselves is by making others inferior.

No body wants to be bothered with such people as friends and definitely not as partners unless... can't get anything better.

[coachTanthony]

It doesn't matter if it's a medical problem or if they are lazy. They are either attracted to you or they are not. Let's face it most people don't have medical problems... they are just lazy and rather make excuses then lose the weight. Let's just be real.

[ILOVEBEAUTY]

Why bother making this post.

[Opinion Owner]

@ILOVEBEAUTY you quite obviously have a small low intelligence brain

[Opinion Owner]

@coachtanthony thank you for proving that you aren't worth the time of day. When you originally agreed about thyroid and what not issues then said such people are lazy... that's both stupid and pathetic

[coachTanthony]

Stop being lazy then. Don't get mad at me.

[ILOVEBEAUTY]

Ok old hag

[lilyanony1]

Yes because as much as they hated me at that weight so did I...
I see a motivating factor to keeping the weight off so long as its not toxic.

They saw my potential and refused to pacify me by saying they would love me anyways.

Perspective..!

[BigWhiteWolf87]

Of course it'd be toxic. People like described ARE toxic. Why else do they insult others except their inferior toxic nature?

[Soremain]

Yeah of course. I don't understand why people feel they're as entitled to dating no matter how they take care of their body.

"Oh you didn't find me attractive when I ate like a pig and looked like a pig? And now when I started treating myself with respect and look like an actual healthy human should look like, you find me attractive? No, you're horrible superficial jerk". Such dumbness.

[fonduegirl]

You're really gonna hate revenge glow up videos then, my friend.

[Soremain]

@anon1903 Never heard :D It's interesting you commented on this old comment and just yesterday this exact topic came to my mind out of the blue. And I thought about another example and I'll share it whether you're interested or not :P

Imagine there is a really attractive guy, but he's too lazy to take a shower, so he smells really bad all the time. So you reject him because of that. Then one day he decides to start taking a shower and now he smells fresh and now you give him a chance. But now he's like "Oh but you weren't interested in me when I smelled bad so you don't really like ME for ME, you superficial bi***" :D. You know what I mean? It doesn't make sense to get offended if someone rejects you for a flaw that you can and SHOULD correct.

I know this is not really meant for you but there was another girl to whom I responded who felt it's justified to be offended by that.

[fonduegirl]

I was also offended. But your example made sense.

[fonduegirl]

There was a friend of mine here and we strongly agreed on being offended on this question lmao.

[Soremain]

@anon1903 haha :D I can relate of course. I used to be fat and I'd always get nasty looks and when I got in shape I'd get smiles. For a moment I felt that impulse to be a little offended by that, but I dropped it because it was silly. It's nothing personal. It's just like smelling bad, people will give you nasty looks.

Of course losing weight takes longer time so it feels more personal, but it's not. People tend embrace the extra weight too much, like it's essential part of them :D "Oh you should like me AND my extra weight".. No they don't like the extra weight and neither do you. They're actually co-operating with your real desires.

[fonduegirl]

What if you like yourself with the extra weight?

[helpmary16]

Yes, I would. I'm not entitled to someone being initially attracted to me no matter what.

In the beginning, looks matter a lot in deciding who we want to get to know more. There are going to be lots of guys who would like me after weight loss but not if they met me before... he just happened to know me during both times.

If, on the other hand, someone dumped me for gaining weight and then wanted me back when I lost it, that's a problem. At that point, he already knows me and should value my personality the most.

[sythe_crimsonstar]

The fact that he wants yiu know that you’re lighter is a clear indicator of how shallow he is. You deserve better, sister. Don’t waste your time

[coachTanthony]

He's not shallow if he isn't attracted to FAT people.

[EarthRealm]

Agreed @coachTanthony
Fat people are just unhealthy they have a ton of health problems and don’t care that they are Fat and unhealthy and they walk around acting like they carry some Authority because they are Fat I can’t tell you how many times Fat people have Threatened to Fight me or Throw me out of somewhere because of I was talking about and being healthy

[BullShark]

all i'll say to that is; "if you weren't there at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best".

[coachTanthony]

LOL that is the dumbest and most arrogant statement ever copied from the internet.

[BullShark]

@coachTanthony so what you're saying is even if someone blows me off if I'm not physically attractive at the time, but after I work on myself, for myself, and suddenly this said person magically catches feelings for me, I should take them back despite everything and knowing their feelings were never genuine in the first place? I don't think I follow.

[coachTanthony]

Despite everything? What is everything? They weren't attracted to you. You lost weight and now they are... what you are saying is they should be attracted to you no matter what and that isn't how the world works.

[fonduegirl]

Coach, the crush could have helped the person exercise and diet instead of straight out rejecting them.

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 Most people who are overweight are not waiting for someone to save them. They either have the motivation or they don't. Nobody likes unsolicited help and advice or feeling like they are a charity case. Can it happen? I guess but it's not likely.

[BullShark]

@coachTanthony actually Coach, what I was saying was that because they rejected me before, shows me what sort of shallow person they are and that if given the chance, they'll most likely cut and run to the next more "attractive" person when given the chance. They're only attracted to looks. What @anon1903 said holds some truth as well. I've seen a lot of overweight couples in the real world too who work together to better each other, or if one of them isn't as fit, they help the other to overcome it.

[fonduegirl]

I wouldn't date a person that I've rejected when they were overweight. It's insulting.

[BullShark]

exactly. Besides, even IF in some alternate universe I'm a simp for them and accept them now once I'm bulked up, and after getting rejected by them before, what's to say they won't break up with me later on if I gain weight again due to a sickness or something? I'll be a total fool with no self respect

[coachTanthony]

People are not shallow because they have standards and preferences on what they want in a partner. You should never date potential because your potential for them is never the same potential they have for themselves. You need to date people as is and if they don't meet those standards at the time then they don't. I guess I would rather be shallow then settle.

[fonduegirl]

It takes a lot of courage to be insecure and still confess feelings to someone. If a person looks at my weight and just decides it wouldn't work then shame on them. They didn't even try to make it work.

[fonduegirl]

Such shallow people sometimes end in abusive relationships because of their "standards"

[BullShark]

I wouldn't really call them "standards and preferences" when the standards and preferences are insensitive like that and change on random. If I rejected someone because of their looks, even if they become attractive to me later on, I still wouldn't want to ask them out because it's insulting to them and shallow of me. You blew them off because of their looks before, so why would they want to take you back now that you're in shape? 95% of the time, they most didn't do it for you. They did it for themselves and to not make the same mistake twice of falling for someone who's only attracted to looks. This sort of mindset basically instills the idea that the world revolves around you when the real world doesn't.

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 I am not talking about people who look at your weight and just decide it wouldn't work. I am talking about people WHO are not attracted to you because of your weight. So you should thank them for not wasting your time if the attraction isn't there. We aren't talking about people who think you are attractive but just don't want to date someone who is overweight. That is totally different.

[coachTanthony]

@BullShark So if some random girl comes up to you after you lost the weight and finds you attractive and now you are a couple... but sees a photo of you before and is honest with you and tells you she would of never of been interested in you at that "before" weight would you break up with them? I don't really see a difference... she still has a standard and preference in place and you meet that standard but before you didn't.

[fonduegirl]

But why would you reject someone's confession because you don't like their size? It shows how arrogant and superficial you are. How dare you ask them out after they lose weight. Don't you have any shame?

[BullShark]

@coachTanthony that isn't really the same thing. Re-read your question again. If I asked her out before and she rejected me at the time saying something like "haha lol no you're fat!" or some shit, I wouldn't be dating her in the first place and we wouldn't even be here. And when I'm dating someone else after getting ripped, and if she sees a photo of me from like 2-3 years ago when I was fat, chances are, the most she'll do is laugh and say something like "oh wow you looked so chubby back then!" or "haha you looked like a fat bear!" but it'll almost always be said in good intention and we'll both laugh it off. It won't be genuinely degrading and hurtful unless you're an asshole to your S/O and looking for reasons to ditch them

[fonduegirl]

It'd be still insensitive of his girlfriend in this scenario to say she wouldn't have dated him — I'm pretty sure he already knew that for a fact and that's just rubbing salt in their wounds

[coachTanthony]

@BullShark Okay well thanks for the comments.

[fonduegirl]

If I'm overweight and insecure and a person wants to date me despite it but I'm not confident enough so I don't say yes, and then I lose weight and feel ready to date — that's the valid situation. They want to date both versions of you. They LOVE you.

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 This convo is going nowhere. That person who lost 75 pounds is a totally different person now. Many people will be asking them out knowing damn well they wouldn't have before so there is no difference.

[fonduegirl]

You should never date someone who has hurted you

[fonduegirl]

Other people aren't the point. Did you want them when they confessed and had flaws? If not, sayonara!

@BullShark 's original opinion stands!

[BullShark]

Exactly. That same person who lost 75 pounds would now be asked out by a lot more people, no doubt probably more attractive ones too, so why would they say yes to the person who rejected them before when now, they can get someone much better? That's the answer to this question.

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 I agree. Nobody is talking about giving someone a chance who has hurt you. Your definition of hurt though is probably much different than mine.

[fonduegirl]

It's hurtful to be this insensitive.

[fonduegirl]

They're overweight people, not drug addicts that it'd be impossible to change them lol

[coachTanthony]

@BullShark Ha now looks who is shallow and has standards and preferences after they lose weight. Exactly we finally agree.

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 its not your job to change them. You can't date potential because your potential for them is never the same potential they have for themselves and how dare you see humans like some broken down house that needs to be repaired. See my point. You are loving them for who you want them to be not for who they are.

[fonduegirl]

It's a given fact that fit people are seen as more attractive. Lmfao, Bullshark here didn't even have to say it. We're arguing here as to why reject a person for size? For ugliness, in your words.

[fonduegirl]

It's still shitty to reject someone's love because you're too superficial.

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 I have already explained it and it's not because people are ugly or shallow. We will end it here.

[fonduegirl]

I'd only help them change if they're insecure about their weight. If not, good for them. I'd give them a chance.

[fonduegirl]

It's awfully swallow to date people based on how they look. Why would you not give them even one chance?

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 Have fun with that.

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 I don't give people who I am not attracted to chances and neither should you.

[fonduegirl]

I will. I'm not an asshole like yourself.

[fonduegirl]

Not attracted to? Puh lease! You didn't even give them one fucking date to woo you!!

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 If don't want to have sex with them then why the hell would I go on a date with them? Romantic relationships involve intimacy otherwise you are just friends.

[fonduegirl]

You wouldn't jump in their bed to test a little attraction theory! You go out on a date and see if you feel chemistry, dumbass.

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 True for most people but if they are 75 pounds overweight I ain't testing shit. If you want to jump in bed with an overweight stinky poo then have at it. Knock yourself out but get some self esteem and standards at some point.

[fonduegirl]

Yes, and you've rejected them I'd say they dodged a bullet right there! 😂

[fonduegirl]

I hope they reject you back when they lose the weight

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 Ok thanks for the comments

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. Before you weren't sexually attractive to them.

It's like my ex lost a lot of weight when I dumped her to show me what I was missing, I knew what I was missing which is why I dumped her.

[coachTanthony]

They tend to always lose the weight after the fact instead inside the relationship.

[Staximus]

Losing weight shows self improvement and people like seeing others improve themselves, it shows effort and determination. Shows motivation and initiative, shows them you didn't give up on yourself and you value yourself. The "fuck everything" attitude is self destructive as fuck. Take it from me, I'm still trying to overcome it.

[Luopio27]

If I became succesful, or gained the atractive qualities that I lacked when I was rejected, I would give them a 2nd chance. Those miracles are change of heart stories that are worth making hollywood movies about, except they rarely if ever happen in real life.

[Tina19]

No never if his love for me depends on how i look then no chance because he won't want me anymore if something happens to my body and face and that isn't even love


I have a crush on a guy who is extremely handsome but the reason i want to date him is because he is a gentleman i will still choose him when he is grey and old🥰🥰🥰

[Anonymous]

Giving them a chance wouldn't satisfy the psychological need for the feeling of superiority. It doesn't matter if its the partner of your dreams. They rejected you, making you feel inferior. If you accept them later, you'll still feel inferior because all you've done is rise to their level of acceptability. You can only feel superior again by rejecting them.

[MCheetah]

F*ck no! They did you a favor by showing you their true colors.

[coachTanthony]

True colors of having a preference of not being attracted to someone who is overweight? LOL OK

[MCheetah]

... But then pretending like they're attracted to them after losing the weight, even though they treated them badly before that. Which you seemed to have ignored. Why would I give someone a second chance after telling me to go f*ck myself?

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Shit, I would.

It's less about fat and more about work ethic. I'm turned off by lazy, unhealthy, unmotivated, apathetic.

I'll give a fat chick a chance, but I won't pretend they are as attractive to me as a healthy chick.

I'm fat now. By my standards. I'm trying to fix that before I get back to trying to find a girl.

I'd date someone who was overweight. But if they didn't lose it I wouldn't marry them. Food is expensive, life is hard, I need a team mate not a parasite.

Same goes for me. I wouldn't ask someone to date marry me until I get my shit together. If I can't put my best out there, I'm not going to be able to give the good gals the best that they deserve. So either I'm slacking or I'll end up with someone who doesn't give their best back.

I'm gonna come right out and say it, fat discrimination is a good thing. Stop telling people it's okay to be obese and start telling people how to be healthy. It's not okay to be obese. It's a huge problem for our society, our economy, our resources, our productivity.

Do I still care about fat people? Absolutely. Do I get on their case about it? Of course not.

There is a kind of chubby chick I'm talking to now, she works hard, she's had a hard time lately, I'm trying to take her on a date when I can get the time off.

But dam, I thought the goal was teamwork. Better yourselves, live good lives together. If she isn't trying to get there I'm gonna do it on my own. And yeah, looks matter too. She doesn't have to be a model, I'm not interested in makeup or fancy clothes, but if she isn't trying why should I? I'm looking for a relationship where we do our best together, for ourselves and each other.

If someone I like sees me get in shape, get my finances right, get my life in order and then wants to jump on it, I'm definitely still interested. But they better be at that same level not just asking me to carry them now that I'm able to.

[coachTanthony]

Nobody said they were mean. This is how you would take it I guess instead of taking it as an honest criticism of what there preferences are in a partner.

[MCheetah]

@coachTanthony
It's complete BS that it's "honest criticism." Nobody's saying anyone has to like people they aren't attracted to. But please spare me the "it's all about their health" crap. If you don't like someone when they're overweight and want to sh*t on them for that, don't then go trying to crawl back to smash in bed once they lost their weight, because it's clearly showing you don't care about them. Not to mention, it's some hardcore simp sh*t for anyone to go back to a crush after they sh*t on you for your weight.

[coachTanthony]

LOL ok thanks for participating

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

It really is about the health for me.
I can't afford the medical bills that come with being 60 and obese.

I also don't want to watch someone I love struggle. I don't want to watch them die. I don't want to leave them behind when I ride my motorcycle to go jet skiing.

It's not that I want an athlete, I just want someone who isn't handicapped in life.

But, I take the approach now of let's give it a chance. If it works, we'll help each other get to our best selves. I've been getting fat, and that's the least of my problems.

[MCheetah]

@Lost_in_the_Woods
Yeah, and I can respect your argument, because you're implying someone who is working on losing weight and being healthy is worth a chance. But usually, the argument is "LOL, look at the landwhale. Fat f*ck can't put down the fork!" They know nothing of their health or intent to be healthier, but judge them and write them off as a fat-f*ck glutton anyway, but then pretend it's "about making healthy choices" as some kind of bullsh*t cop-out to just avoid admitting they're just shallow. (And they're allowed to be shallow, but don't lie about it.)

[Hrumf]

He is clearly shallow and doesn’t deserve you. He had his chance with you. Weight, especially with women, tends to fluctuate throughout our lives. Especially if you plan on having children. Will he then ditch you when you gain weight due to things like pregnancy and you don’t lose the weight right away?


You don’t need that. On to the next guy who would appreciate you no matter what weight you are at!

[HawkPerception]

Yes I definitely would. Physical attraction is more important initially. If we're not physically attracted in the first place, then it's understandable that they wouldn't be interested. However, if you've been in a relationship for a while and someone gained some weight that put them back into the state they were in before the relationship, it would be extremely shallow to leave them for that. However, I do believe that we should always be motivated to stay fit.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Nah, if they weren't interested in me before, and they are after a body change, they're not interested in me. They're interested in my body.

That's not the foundation of a relationship I value.

Besides, if I want a hook up, I can find one elsewhere.

But, hey, they can enjoy the view as turn my back on them. I'll enjoy knowing they'll jerk one off to my memory.

[Soremain]

It's not only about the body itself, it's how you treat your body. Being fat is not treating yourself with respect and how you treat yourself indicates how you treat the world around you.

"But, hey, they can enjoy the view as turn my back on them. I'll enjoy knowing they'll jerk one off to my memory."

Actually you'd be in no valid position to feel that way. If you were big fat pig, you don't deserve to be as attractive as the girls who are not. When you correct your own flaws and bad habits, you're not in a position to feel bitter and seek revenge for people who didn't find you attractive before because of those flaws and habits you had control over.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Lol, your username is so accurate. Butthurt on main.

You're very right about not treating your body with respect if you're fat, but you ignore the internal work that might need to happen, and the fact that life isn't a video game and sometimes has curveballs it throws in our paths.

If someone's learned to respect and grow their healthy connection to their body, why would they ignore the fact that this hypothetical person is just after them for their body?

Seems pretty disrespectful of yourself to allow someone to fuck you because they find you attractive now.

Where's the self-respect in that?

It's much more self-respecting and indicative of high self-worth to have grown out of reach completely of these horny men.

Lol. Butthurtmain more like.

[Soremain]

Oh okay I always thought if my nickname would mean anything because it was kind of random and wasn't meant to mean anything in English, but now we know :P

Yeah it's true we're not always in total control and we can't always help ourselves, but we're responsible to make the right changes. And it just happens to be true that fit people are more attractive than fat people. Also what's really important to realize is that people don't choose who they find attractive or not. So the people who don't find fat people attractive are totally innocent. It's just how nature is, accept it and live according to it or fight it and be bitter, your choice.

I used to be fat kid and young adult. I got absolutely zero positive attention from females. I got in shape, started dress better, started getting out of my social comfort zone and started getting laid. Really you think I should've been mad and bitter and felt "disrespected" for women for finding me attractive now but not then? :D I'd have to be total moron to feel that way.

[Sukaaa]

Of course not honey what if you gained that weight what he leaves you then no way hunny the important thing is self love and someone to know your worth

[Blonde1975]

If you judge anyone by their appearance chances are you are a narcissistic douche bag and your best bet is stay home and jerk off cause you ain’t hitting this !

[coachTanthony]

So people should be attracted to unhealthy over weight people or else they are a narcissist? lol ok

[Wubs3000]

Yes. If I'm unattractive or overweight it makes sense to be rejected for that reason. You can't like someone without liking their appearance, and I would rather be rejected than them saying yes and not liking my looks while in a relationship.
Once you lose that weight, or become attractive, it makes sense they would want to be in a relationship then.
Physical attraction is at least 50% of a relationship. You can't have one without it.

[ILOVEBEAUTY]

Yawn. You hate fat people. That's cool. This post is pointless so go back to snorting your protein shakes and flexing 3 hours in the gym.

[RandomGuy1030]

I want you to ask girls... if a guy you rejected became a doctor, would you give him another chance... lets see.

[coachTanthony]

I am sure they would say GOD NO haahahahahahahahahaha

[fonduegirl]

Nope. I wanna date a person, not their career choice.

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 yeah yeah yeah lol

[fonduegirl]

For real. As a child I was surrounded by people who didn't even like me that much but we're just there because I was a good artist.

[coachTanthony]

@anon1903 Well look I'm not saying every woman would. We all have preferences and standards in life and what we want in a partner so to each their own really!

[fonduegirl]

Of course

[andreasderjuengere]

My brother had been chubby as a kid.

As a teenager he ''budgeted'' down to fitness level.

Meanwhile: he's double chubby.

I can't trust the idea that you suggest.

[SpaceRainbows]

As much as people say personality counts, looks are still quite important.

Now if he said we could still be friends and didn't say mean shit about me sure yk. if he said bad shit and rejected me in a harsh ass way then yea no <3

[BigWhiteWolf87]

People like described ARE toxic. Why else do they insult others except their inferior toxic nature?

[Blackcosmo]

No because they are only interested in your body and not you as a person. That's not my ideal partner. I want someone who appreciates me for mainly my personality and not just my body.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Lazy is a personality trait.

No one is born fat. You get there by the choices you make. And sometimes it's not laziness, it's because you have other priorities, other struggles, or whatever it is.

But motivated, healthy and hard working are also personality traits.

For me, it's not just the physical side at all. It's much more about the personality and priority side. If you care about yourself, you work hard, and you are fat... something else is wrong in your life.

If it's genetic or some rare health condition, I understand. I don't have a problem with that. But that's extremely rare. The vast majority of fat people are fat BECAUSE of their personality.

[Blackcosmo]

@Lost_in_the_Woods True of course but no one should ever judge anyone. I understand where you're coming from but a good relationship needs to stem from chemistry and not just the body.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

I agree.

It's not a deal breaker for me.
I met a kind of chubby chick. She came up and started a conversation with me, told me how she started a charity to rescue kittens, and I'm trying to get back there to take her on a date.

She works hard. She just has a lot of things going on all at the same time. I'm not looking for perfect, but I am looking for someone who works hard.

[Blackcosmo]

@Lost_in_the_Woods Definitely.

[malwins]

@Lost_in_the_Woods LOL it’s hurtful because sometimes you don’t have time to workout

[Blackcosmo]

@malwins You're so right. Also it takes so much effort to lose weight and for some people almost impossible.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Trust me, I understand that. I'm working 14 hour - 20 hour days driving a truck. Hard to work out behind the wheel or sitting waiting in the cab.

But, that's why I said it's not a deal breaker. And, even so I'm gonna make it happen. I'll be buff by next year.

Covid caught a lot of people out. It's real life out here. So I'm really not one to judge. I'm just saying obesity is generally a symptom of a deeper problem. We gotta stop trying to justify being unhealthy or pretending it's attractive and start talking about how we as a society can do better on the real issues.

People didn't used to be fat. It's easier to be healthy than it used to be. Something is wrong here.

But dang, I wish I gave the chubby chick in highschool a chance cus she works at Advance and drives a detailed BMW up the mountains to take photos of if now.

Looks aren't that important. Having a gal who loves cars... that's priceless.

And @malwins HEY! How's life?
Cut yourself a break on the workouts cus you always look fantastic.

[Blackcosmo]

@Lost_in_the_Woods You're so right.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@Lost_in_the_Woods - Kindly go back to school & TRY to pass elementary, my dear. There's a number of diseases, such as underactive thyroid, that makes a person overweight... as well as medications that do the same.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Wow. You must not have been to elementary school because they sure don't teach that in 5th grade.

Also, I mentioned that already. Try reading then typing. You'll sound smarter.

They exist, but they are extremely rare. Most people who say they have something genetic are liars.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Some really do, and I already said I would cut them some slack.

[Anonymous]

I'm truly shocked by how many men actually said yes...

[coachTanthony]

Why? Should someone be attracted to you when you are out of shape, fat and unhealthy? You lose the weight and get your shit together and why wouldn't they now be attracted to you? Why is it that? people are so arrogant to think people should just settle?

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, but in fairness, it depends on how they reject me. If it's a case of them rudely brushing me off with unrestrained disgust, then no. Not in a billion years. She can f*ck right off.

If it's simply that my weight is a bit off putting, for obvious reasons, and she still likes the rest of me as a person, or better still, maybe even offer to go and work out together for both our sakes, then I might say yes.

[coachTanthony]

Well of course if they are rude they can fuck off. Agree.

[Opinion Owner]

I'd give them a chance, but I don't think it would work for long because I would be VERY wary of them, due to the likelihood of simply being used by them.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes, I do give them a chance. Because it was my own damn fault that I was fat.

Now, if she rejected me for something I couldn't control, then no.

[zagor]

I can't imagine me ever being 75 lbs overweight, though I could stand to drop 10-20. But all these people saying that they must only want you for your body are way off. If they were that overweight it was an indication of lack of discipline and health awareness, things that are not appealing in a potential partner. Losing it would show that they have managed to turn that around.

[LztutuIsCute]

Depends. If they had rejected me nicely, then I might give them a chance. If they literally fat-shamed me or anything else, hell no

[LztutuIsCute]

If they didn't want me then, then I don't want them now. Hell nah

[NeffexSelfMade]

asking the wrong question

you are assuming he would want her even after she lost weight

[coachTanthony]

No assuming this is the question lol

[Anonymous]

If that person didn’t want me in my worse, I wouldn’t want them in my best. Surround yourself of people that genuinely love you and care for you unconditionally, the rest…they can look at you shine from far.

[ElvenMr]

Probably no. Unless somehow i'm still really attracted to them, but even then i would constantly think about how this same person rejected me when i was not in the best shape. There are probably exceptions to this tho, where it can work out.

Something similar to this. Even if i just dress more nicely, more girls want to suddenly be around me and hit on me. And if dress in regular clothes, they don't really care.

[Avicenna]

Probably not, but I wouldn't rule it out completely. However, crushes don't last forever and I'd be getting a lot of attention from other women at my new weight. Maybe if there's something special about her.

[Smashingdoozy]

God no. Shoes that they only like you for your body and I'm not here for that

[coachTanthony]

It doesn't mean they only like you for your body. It means they might like you but aren't physically attracted to you. Once you lose the weight then they are. Why do people act as if people should just settle for someone who they aren't attracted too?

[Smashingdoozy]

To me it does. I've been there. It feels absolutely shit having an opinion on you change with weight gain or loss. It's unlikely to ever be a healthy relationship.

[notwoke]

its not unreasonable to desire a fit partner with an attractive figure, just like folks desire a partner with a career and future

[Jamesshinobi]

i voted for the coach but my real answer is yes. i didn't lose the weight for no reason.

[bamesjond0069]

Sure why not? Nobody in their right mind is going to date someone 75lbs overweight.

[MysteriousDarkness]

They had their chance. It would make me question if they would leave me or not if I wasn't how they physically liked be ause of being burned, get attacked by another person or an animal, got into an automobile or boating accident etc.

[Marshymallow]

Nope. Shallow people make me automatically lose interest.

[Chazmatazz269]

No. That time has passed. People need to learn to move on.

[SpaceGalaxy]

Sure. I can't blame them for not wanting me when i was a fatso

[qwert1234]

Am I still interested on them, that's the question.

If I am, then yes. It's a win-win.

If I am not, then no.

[1GoldTwins]

O HELL NAW I lost these pounds for me, not for him!

[libsaretards]

Probably not. Then again, before I start dating I will make sure I am the person I want to be so I attract the appropriate matches.

[Angelinak06]

, no bc it prob won't last as they only want you for your body/looks and not personality

[RandomGuy1030]

Woah woah wait one second... I've seen you on talkwithstranger

[Angelinak06]

@RandomGuy1030 no you haven't im afraid 😂

[RandomGuy1030]

Aight i havent😏

[TheMajesticKing777]

Most likely not, let's not mention the crush for them would probably be gone by then

[EarthRealm]

If I Was 75 pounds overweight I would have to go to the doctor to get checked for a Brain Tumor

[John196854]

The fact they worked hard at losing weight, shows that they don't give up, so I give them a thumbs up, remember it could be you so yes, they deserve a chance.

[coachTanthony]

You read the question wrong.

[John196854]

Oh sorry

[HelloSofi97]

Absolutely not.

[legalboxers]

nope. just because they were haters

[coachTanthony]

LOL maybe they aren't attracted to unhealthy overweight people

[legalboxers]

@coachTanthony weight can be lost..

[coachTanthony]

If it’s not lost now why would it ever change? Lazy is lazy!

[legalboxers]

@coachTanthony what about if its a medical condition?

[coachTanthony]

There will always be one off's in life. This ain't about those.

[Anonymous]

No, but not because she rejected me because I was fat. I don't give ANY woman a second shot.

[Guanfei]

I'd tend to say no, but if my crush, or at least the last I had, gave me a chance, I'm not sure I could refuse.

[JJHavoc]

I say no. Cause if they didn't love u before, how do u know they aren't just tryna get with u. Cause of ur looks

[coachTanthony]

You don’t. Can you really blame them though for not being attracted to FAT and unhealthy?

[Ryfyle]

No, you Shit on them and point out their personal failures.

[Bubbles16]

Oh heck no because I am not gonna be with someone who only likes me for the way I look

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Well if you think of it from a Dinosaur perspective it’s fine. Kind of. Sort of. In a way

[Zolly99999]

I probably would but I'd never let them forget it either

[Ms_Facesitter]

No, I would have moved on by then.

[tomhastings]

why not? New Body, new personality, new confidence, new flexibility... :)! Better mind set, more sexual... all is good!