Guy rejects woman for being overweight. The guy is now interested in her after she lost the weight. Should she now give him a chance?

[coachTanthony]

Give him a chance

Absolutely not

[HawkPerception]

It's not shallow to be attracted to someone for their appearance as many people (especially women) seem to think. It's shallow when you're ONLY attracted to someone for their appearance.

Being overweight implies what kind of lifestyle and views you have. It shows you don't care about your health or appearance enough to put effort into maintaining it. And it also shows that you prefer sitting down and watching Netflix, ordering some food for delivery and being a couch potato to any type of physical activity.

An overweight person can't keep up physically with a physically fit person. If I want to go on a long hike, play volleyball at a beach, or do any kind of physical activity in general, the overweight person wouldn't be able to share in those experiences.

It always blows my mind that women will start letting it go once they're in a relationship using the logic "He should love me for me" and then when a guy breaks up with her because he's no longer attracted to her she'll say he was shallow then proceed to workout and lose weight to attract other guys. Like why couldn't she just do that in the relationship? What girls don't seem to understand is part of the reason we're attracted to their personality in the first place is because they cared about their fitness and appearance when we get with them.

To answer your question, yes she should give him a chance as long as he's not only interested in her appearance, but also feels there's compatibility between their personalities.

[Unit1]

This.

What some people don't get is that voluntary disregard of one's own appearance like that is a mirror to how they are in other aspects such as unhealthy lifestyle, that drags us with it. It can be a reflection to their character too.

[BoopBoopBeep]

100%. That's why "revenge bodies" always seemed silly to me. If you'd put that much effort into the relationship maybe you'd still be in it. You didn't, so I moved on to someone else. @TheRealPepperPotts nailed it. It's more than just being fat, it's all the consequences that come with it. I'm an active person. I want someone to share that with. Ol' girl on the left isn't going to cut it, so it wouldn't work out. There's no "revenge body" though to "teach me a lesson." I can assure you once we move on we do just that, move on. I couldn't give two shites how you look afterwards.

[Kingofkings1992]

@HawkPerception that is absolutely not true. How is someone who is 30 years old so clueless? This sounds like something a teenager would say. Being overweight doesn’t automatically mean someone is lazy/ has poor eating habits. Some of the laziest fucks I’ve ever met in my life were super thin.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Kingofkings1992 What specifically did he say that was untrue and in what way does it make him clueless? I'm genuinely curious... I think he meant it was a fairly safe assumption that they aren't eating right or taking care of their physical health and fitness. I don't think anyone would say it automatically indicates laziness. It's more that it shows they have different priorities than physical fitness, which is fine. It's just they may not be attractive to someone who does prioritize those things, that's all. I agree, thin people can be lazy, too.

[Kingofkings1992]

@TheRealPepperPotts I already stated what he said that was untrue. It’s not that hard. Put 2 and 2 together

[HawkPerception]

@Kingofkings1992 You immediately lose all credibility when you start off with "You're wrong" then proceed to insult one's age as if age should be the determining factor for intelligence/wisdom. I admit there is a correlation between age and wisdom/knowledge (both of which come from experience), but it's minor and highly dependent on the individual. Also there is no correlation to intelligence. I've seen plenty of unintelligent people who are over 30 years old who are "clueless" such as yourself, and plenty of kids under 20 who make them look like as intelligent as a doorknob.

Let me clarify something so your smooth brain can comprehend it. I did not imply that people who are overweight are lazy in EVERY aspect of their life. They can work in an office 24/7 or even construction all day long 7 days a week. But if they're eating unhealthily, and not being active in terms of cardio, they are definitely lazy in regards to their health. It literally takes only 10-15 minutes a day of HIIT to look and be physically fit. You can't tell me that people don't have 10-15 minutes in their day to spend on maintaining their health.

My guess is that you got defensive and took it as a shot at yourself because you yourself are overweight and "not lazy overall" in your life. Extremely immature comment "coming from a 30 year old." There is a correlation with age an maturity.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Kingofkings1992 So, only the part about being lazy, then? It sounded like you thought every single part of it was untrue. Thanks for clarifying! :)

[Kingofkings1992]

@HawkPerception whatever dude. I’m not gonna argue semantics with you. I’m not defensive, I just correct ignorant trash when I see it. You said being overweight implies what type of lifestyle someone has. Being physically fit is not defined by a person’s external appearance. That is where you are wrong.

[HawkPerception]

@Kingofkings1992 It does imply what type of lifestyle you have. To think it's not is absolutely delusional. It's a simple concept to understand. You look like what you're able to do. I've yet to see a single dude that is overweight and can do 100 pushups or do basic parkour and if they can, then they are an outlier in the world. I'm glad you're not gonna argue. Fuck outta here with your nonsense.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Kingofkings1992 "You said being overweight implies what type of lifestyle someone has. Being physically fit is not defined by a person’s external appearance".

It only implies, it isn't 100%.

How should we define physical fitness if not by someone's physical fitness? What would be a more accurate way to know a person's fitness status?

[Kingofkings1992]

@TheRealPepperPotts why are you even on this thread? This is between me and @HawkPerception. I’ve said my piece. We don’t agree, there’s no point in pressing the issue any further

[HawkPerception]

@Kingofkings1992 You made that clear when you said "I’m not gonna argue semantics with you. I’m not defensive, I just correct ignorant trash when I see it." The real question is what are you still doing "here in this thread"? Felt you needed to get the last word? Again... immature.

And @TheRealPepperPotts unlike me was trying to respectfully understand your side of things. Do you not get how threads work on forums? People can come into the conversation at any point to add to it. Your not willing to address her questions and points just further proves that your lack of class and respect.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Kingofkings1992 Because I have a similar opinion as @HawkPerception and I like to understand where people are coming from before I make assumptions. And it's a public thread, anyone can join the conversation.

[HawkPerception]

proves your lack***

[Vampirelover_12]

"Men must be -130 lbs for me to be attracted to them." "He really let himself go after having a baby with her." "He needs to get rid of the baby weight." "One on the lips is one on the hips." Have fun shopping in the doll aisle if you don't want a genuine human connection. If that hurts you to read, women have to face that almost every day. That's why we want men to love us for our personalities.

You males just don't get it.

[HawkPerception]

@Vampirelover_12 It's almost like you didn't read a thing from this thread. I always wonder how people with as little logic as you get through life.

[Vampirelover_12]

Just showing you how it feels. Women aren't made to be stick thin.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Vampirelover_12 I'm a woman and I agree that women weren't made to be stick thin. I'm not. But the woman in the photos isn't stick thin after she lost the weight. She has a healthy weight and curves. The before photo is clinically described as obese. The myriad of health issues that stem from obesity is a real problem. I would not be happy if a guy I married let himself go physically because it's a health and self-care problem. In fact, guys have less reasons to have weight problems than women, so it's even less justifiable for a guy to become obese. He doesn't deal with pregancy, guys rarely have hormonal fluctuations, and guys generally have more stable energy than women.

I hear you, though. I don't want to be judged purely for my body, either. The trouble is that our body is an outward representation of us. I can't say that deep inside I'm really a fitness and health geek if I weigh 300lbs. I know a woman who is like that, actually. She knows everything about health, but she won't apply it. Application is 9/10ths of character.

The good thing is that we actually have power over this, unlike other things. We don't have power over our nose or facial structure, or the color of our skin. But we do have power over our activity levels and our diet. That's all fitness is, and it's doable. We just need consistency and support.

[HawkPerception]

@TheRealPepperPotts This is why you'll always be more classy than me. I don't have the patience to deal with nonsense, yet here you are trying to communicate and reword everything we've already said. Bless your soul.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@HawkPerception Thanks; I try. :D

[JesseP1nk]

Ok lets keep it 100. If a give would have accepted her if she was fat... would she have started losing weight then... ? - My guess is not. It is that hurt and pain, she felt after being rejected that caused her to start losing weight.

"People change when they hurt enough, they have to. When they see enough, they're inspired to. When they learn enough that they want to, and when they receive enough that they're able to. Those are the four times that people change." Dr John C. Maxwell

[coachTanthony]

"It is that hurt and pain, she felt after being rejected that caused her to start losing weight."

Exactly... she is hurt because a guy she is attracted too and wants doesn't want her. She could easily settle with someone she isn't attracted too but she changed so she could do better and get what she wanted.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Sounds like a superficial ass- I hope she's not that dumb to date him. Because guess what-

If she gains back said weight, he's no longer going to be attracted to her and will probably leave her. Coming from someone that used to be overweight, I can relate to this question. We all know looks matter when dating (anyone that says otherwise is lying). I'm not saying the guy is wrong to reject her initially because he's not attracted to her; if there's no attraction there, you cannot force it.
I AM perturbed by a guy that rejects a woman, only to suddenly see her "potential" after she loses weight, gets a makeover, changes her appearance, etc...
Why not, oh I don't know, get to know her (even as a friend), and work with her to lose weight? If you bring up the topic in a concerned or helpful manner, pretty sure most women would at least try or listen.
Offer to go on walks, go to the gym together, eat healthy meals together. Instead, they just instantly write her off because she's fat 🙄

Fun fact- you've heard of revenge bodies? They are usually the result of being rejected or turned down by a person they would have dated, had they been given a chance. So in a way, rejection probably motivates some people to finally get in shape and do better. Getting with said person that rejected them probably wouldn't have given her to nudge to finally lose that weight, LOL

[coachTanthony]

"If she gains back said weight, he's no longer going to be attracted to her and will probably leave her."

In reality she lost the weight so she could attract a guy like him and not have to settle for a guy she wasn't attracted too. It works both ways here.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Ah, touche! But then she's changing herself just to get a guy: isn't that superficial to an extent? Not saying you're wrong; I'm genuinely asking- is that what it takes to get a date and be happy nowadays: be fit, in shape, and look/act a certain way?

I'm all for people losing weight to be healthy and happy with their bodies, but if you're doing it to get dates, then you won't be happy. Especially as I said, if one person in said relationship suddenly gains weight for whatever reason and the relationship was initially based on physical attraction.

[coachTanthony]

If you value physical attraction in your list of attributes then no it's not superficial. If that is all you value and nothing else then sure that is definitely superficial and you probably won't be happy in the long run. I think many people here are assuming the guy coming back is only interested now that she is skinny which is not true... he is now attracted to her physically which is an important first step in the mating process... he still must vet her accordingly for other attributes he desires.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I feel like there is a lot of missing information here. I am thinking about how I prefer fit guys. If a guy approached me and was overweight, I wouldn't be attracted to him and that is the truth. I might really like him, but the issue is that weight is so much more than just looks. It's a lifestyle and health habits. Many people don't change those.

I personally think she is using this in a vengeful way because she was clearly hurt by his rejection. That's not a good reason. She wants revenge and she is punishing him, which is very toxic behavior, especially publishing it all over the internet.

I think her proving she can lose the weight is amazing, but I don't think he made a bad bet. 90% of people will never change. This is different from a pregnancy or hormonal issue. She had bad habits and was one of the rare people who made a change physically. But his mistake was coming back when he felt attraction. She's still a toxic person and he should run far, far away. I don't think he should take her now even if she does decide to give him a chance. She will always weaponize his mistake.

[coachTanthony]

Was it a mistake though? If it was reversed and a chick rejected me because I was overweight and deep down I know it's an issue and correct that issue... not sure I would weaponize anything but just know I am now attractive to her and others which is what happens when you lose the weight.

[Dongie]

Fuckin A. Thank you miss Potts.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@coachTanthony I guess in this context it was a mistake, because she is toxic. Why not just have a conversation and address the hurt? Why post it for the world to see? That's revenge and toxic behavior. She is punishing him and it's obvious. He should run.

If I was overweight and I know it's an issue like you said, an experience like this would motivate me to prove him wrong. But I would not then blast it all over the internet and take revenge for him not being attracted when I had bad lifestyle habits. Again, this isn't baby weight or hormonal. This is a lifestyle issue.

[coachTanthony]

@TheRealPepperPotts Lets remove the fictional girl who is posting this online and just take your scenario... "If I was overweight and I know it's an issue like you said, an experience like this would motivate me to prove him wrong". What exactly would you be proving him wrong about?

What was he wrong about?

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@coachTanthony I feel like there is something you are driving at here, but I don't know what. What do you see in this scenario? If I really liked a guy and he pointed something out about me that made me unattractive to him (say, being a toxic person), I know I would both be hurt and also take notice. It would motivate me to be better, to do better. Not speaking for everyone, just myself.

[coachTanthony]

Ok thanks for the comments

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@coachTanthony Again, what is your point? What do you see here? I'm curious. I like to make sure I am being clear and getting all the angles if I can.

[coachTanthony]

You said "If I was overweight and I know it's an issue like you said, an experience like this would motivate me to prove him wrong". What exactly would you be proving him wrong about?

What was he wrong about?

You never answered that directly you just said something totally different so ok

[Dongie]

Nobody answered mine so ok, too.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@coachTanthony I see. I'd want to prove that I was attractive and that I could be healthy. The assumption is that someone obese is never going to be fit, which is typically accurate.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Dongie Sorry. You're welcome! :D

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@coachTanthony If your point is that obesity is unattractive, I agree with you. :)

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Dongie I just realized all my notification settings were unchecked. No idea how that happened; it must've been a glitch during the latest maintenance G@G did. You're welcome! :)

[Dongie]

Well, it was kinda' a hot topic. I may have made a few people (females) mad toward me. Sorry if I did. But it sticks that he's an asshole. How many guys have each one of them turned down. You know, not to reopen it. Just because he finds her hot and fine now. Nevermind. I'm just saying. I'm kind of sorry, but kinda shouldn't be.

[coachTanthony]

Don’t really have a point just curious what you meant by that …. thanks for the clarification 👍

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Dongie I don't think he's an asshole (unless he was a real jerk about it). I do think the evidence points to her being seriously toxic and vengeful. I think they should have had a conversation about it and she should have addressed it with him privately. It would have given a chance to explain that she felt hurt and work through it.

The bottom line is that obesity is unattractive. Blame social norms or conditioning or whatever, that's the way it is. What is crazy to me is that people get so fired up about it when it's something that is actually within their power to change. We can't change our face really, but we can work hard and eat right. We can see a doctor and get referred to a nutritionist. We have thousands of free workout plans and YouTube videos. We have time (if we have time for Netflix and social media, we have time to work out). The trouble is (barring extenuating circumstances), most people don't feel like putting in the work. The problem with that is, I don't get to have Gisele Bundchen's or Victoria Beckham's salary unless I put in the kind of work they have. I don't have a right to a man who is a solid ten if I am not a solid ten, just because "I'm beautiful on the inside". Well, fit people can be beautiful on the inside, too...

If I have preferences when it comes to guys, I'd be a hypocrite to condemn a guy over not feeling attracted to an obese person. Just my two cents...

[Dongie]

Yeah, that's a nice inside beauty. Hypocrite, that's a nice term to. It's what I've been thinking but not saying. I know I'm not very popular for my somewhat abrasive remarks. But you can believe this, I was holding my tongue very hard. Like they just can't see the double standard at work. You did, the only one of your persuasion.

[Dongie]

, too

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@coachTanthony Of course. Sorry for the confusion and rabbit trail; I was trying to clarify and understand, too. :)

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Dongie Yep. I just know that in my position, I could very well be the person rejecting the guy for his lack of fitness, because I am not attracted to guys physically who are overweight. Maybe that makes me shallow, but I can't condemn someone else for having preferences if I do, too. :D

[BoopBoopBeep]

Thank you for being a realist.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@BoopBoopBeep You're welcome. I do my best! :)

[Dongie]

Nah, fat does not stimulate me. Turns me off. I do have a friend that I told if she lost about 30-40 pounds she would be a 10. She is Mexican and so pretty. I still hear about that one.

[Summeroflove]

Just let people go…. It’s not always personal to be rejected. But at the same time when it comes to things like this. He had his chance if he genuinely wanted her for her.

Some people are too obsessed over looks but not what’s on the inside. Some great people who look good, and some really horrible ugly people. Don’t get me wrong. I also get not wanting to be with someone you’re physically repulsed by.

But people don’t look for the right things. Then wonder why they can’t hold down a decent relationship or are absolutely miserable in every long term relationship they ever been in.

[OlderAndWiser]

I say yes, but I know that most people will say no. If the guy is not attracted to overweight women, he can't force himself to be attracted and he should not pretend to be interested. HIs lack of attraction to overweight women does not indicate a character flaw or moral shortcoming; none of us select the things that turn us on or off.

[Vampirelover_12]

His loss on a soft stomach to hold after sex.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Vampirelover_12 Not everyone wants folds of skin to hold.

[Vampirelover_12]

Their loss then.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Vampirelover_12 People who don't have that preference don't see it as a loss. No need to act like something is wrong with people simply because they don't agree with you.

[Vampirelover_12]

It's their loss because they don't get to hold the biggest breasts they've ever seen.

[AviatorTom]

A guy rejects an overweight woman not because of her size and weight, but because it's an indication that she lacks self-confidence, doesn't care about herself and what she looks like. If a woman makes the effort to lose weight, that indicates self-confidence, that she does care about herself and how she looks.

So why not give the guy a chance. He might be the perfect guy for her. And if not, nothing is lost.

[Avicenna]

Well, we don' t know anything about the guy, but in all likelihood she's have lots of guys interested in her and wouldn't need to date someone who she has had a negative encounter with.

[Finchie40]

Nope , she is better off just giving him the finger and telling him to Go fuck himself

[coachTanthony]

Why she’s a totally different person now …. he wasn’t attracted to the unhealthy overweight her …. lets blame the guy for having standards lmao

[Finchie40]

That’s fine he can have all the standards he wants , but he still doesn’t deserve a chance at her so the ball is now in her court and if she was wise? , she wouldn’t waste her time on a guy like that , what would happen if she did give him a chance and she eventually packed on some pounds again? Would he stay with her or leave her? because she doesn’t meet his standards? that isn’t love man that’s control. She is better off finding a guy that accepts her for who she is , that more than likely will stay by her side if she gains some weight back , because she more than likely will once she settles down again. People that try to change people for their benefit isn’t love , that is control and abuse that isn’t love

[coachTanthony]

In order to attract said person you must keep said person by not eventually falling into habits that wouldn't attract them in the first place. Otherwise go settle with someone who has no standards and you can do whatever you want.

[Finchie40]

Well if she lost all her weight to gain his attention? , than that’s up to her if she wants to chase after a guy like that.

[coachTanthony]

She lost the weight so she can attract like minded person who appreciates health and weight and attraction... I guess she should chase what a fat guy who loves her personality?

[Finchie40]

Shockingly a lot of them do lol

[blueonblack22]

Depends on how he rejected her. You can’t blame a man (or anyone for that matter) for not feeling physically attracted to someone.

Women reject men all the time and often for much more fickle issues and/or attributes a man has zero control over (e. g. height). Men are told tough luck and “just accept it” by society. Told “not to take rejection personally” when women turn them down. No matter how stupid the reason is. Why should men feel guilty for turning women down for attributes women actually can change and control (weight)?

It’s one thing if the man rudely said “I’m not interested in fat asses” or something else nasty. Then of course she should never give him a second chance. But if he was like “you are awesome girl. I enjoyed talking with you and I like your personality. But tbh I am not feeling the physical spark” then he was at least being considerate of her feelings. It’s not unreasonable to give him a second chance in that scenario.

Consider this. What if a guy had a serious drug or alcohol addiction. The woman liked him otherwise but didn’t want to date him because of it.

Then he got clean and sober. Focused on his life and career. She then had a renewed interest in him. That situation would be a fair call to give her a second chance.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not

I get why he would reject an overweight woman as I would but I don't know talk to her and support her in her weight loss journey shi like that.

But for him to ask for another chance.

HELL NO!

If she lost weight because of the rejection that means she's trying to improve on herself to become a better version and wants to be better for the next time not so the dick-head who rejected her to accept her...

Someone who genuinely likes you will stay...

Right people always stay...

No one is perfect so he should look forward and forget that..

The past is in the past...

I had anorexia but my best friends and boyfriend st ill stayed to support me on my healing journey...

Thanks to them I'm okay but st ill recovering that's right there is LOVE!!

People said things about me, my body and them who stayed... They wondered why they still stuck around me...

P. S they aren't the same women I mean the one in the pictures

[DevikaButts95]

Absolutely not. It shows the only thing he cares about you is looks. I know some dumb people will try to argue you can shallow in regards to appearance, which sure, you absolutely can be; in this situation the guy has already confirmed he doesn't care about your personality or who you are or how you both compliment each other's lifestyle and whatnot. That bit hasn't changed, it held no weight to him, he's only going to want to be with you for physical reasons at that point. Get yourself a better partner.

[AmyHew1tt]

It's up to her, but I wouldn't. Of course, it's everyone's right to not be attracted to very overweight people. But unless I lost weight, and we got to know each other better, and THEN he wanted to date me, I would feel very uncomfortable giving that guy a second chance, and constantly worry about if he would leave if I gained a few pounds, and every time my weight fluctuates.

It depends on whether there's more he wants from her than her looks because it doesn't seem like he's drooling over her for her personality at all.

[msc545]

Sure, she should give him a chance. She could not reasonably have expected that anybody would be interested in her given how she looked before. People are entitled to their preferences. Now that she's apparently gotten better, she should take advantage of his interest and see if things work out between the two of them.

[coachTanthony]

exactly.

[SugarSugarplum]

Her being overweight was a HER problem, not a HIM problem. His rejection of her was not wanting to be with an unhealthy woman who obviously didn't love herself enough to take care of herself.

It would be the same if she saw him wearing cargo shorts and a tank top every day and rejected him, but the minute he was cleaned up and wearing a nice suit she suddenly wants him.

It's about you taking care of yourself, not how others react to you.

[animalwithin]

Yes. He made the right choice not being interested in her when she was overweight. By putting in the work and losing the weight, she's shown herself to be someone of discipline and someone who values herself enough to stay health. She is now worthy of pursuing.

[el_Te_de_la_Rosa]

Of course not.

It's too superficial. Actually, I don't see anything wrong when she's heavier. She still looked great. If someone dismissed you because of your "natural" physique, that is you for 90% of your life, they're not yours.

Unless her lifestyle has changed and she's determined to that, it's okay. Thinking about the cases where she can't keep up with a new habit to LOOK fit, or Yo-yo when she's with the person who initially rejected her for her natural appearance... would he still be with her? At least, if the man had have helped her, encouraging her in a nice way, it's a lot better than just leaving her like that and hurtful.

I was there before.

[Jbear27]

Let’s be real. It goes both ways. I might like someone as a person and find them to be a great friend. But if they are overweight I’m not going to be physically attracted to them. It’s basic rules of attraction. If this same girl loses the weight and now is physically smoking hot then yeah, I might change the way I view her and ask her out. It’s not because I’m a shallow guy, but seriously, we are attracted to people whom fit into how we view ourselves. If I feel like I’m the kind of person that takes care of myself and my health I want to be with someone whom reflects those same values and takes care of themselves. I’m not going to date a really cool fat girl. We like what we like and trying to go against our own standards will feel forced and one might feel like they are settling.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

If she was obese not overweight and she should give him a chance. If she's going to date someone else and then she gain weight again, he's going to tell her to lose weight but if she doesn't, big chance she's going to leave her. Being obese it's just objectively a bad thing. But being overweight, it's a limbo. It's not right or wrong just like having preferences. I've got to say I would still date that girl if she's overweight.

[coachTanthony]

If you are attracted to a woman that is overweight then ok that makes sense

[Aiko_E_Lara]

It's not that because she is overweight but she's just cute regardless

[MzAsh]

Depends on how deep his pockets are. 🤷🏻‍♀️ If you’re going to be shallow, expect shallow in return.

[coachTanthony]

So he should just fake being attracted to her when she was fat so you and everyone else doesn't see him as SHALLOW? lol

[MzAsh]

He could just not be shallow

[coachTanthony]

LOL so men need to be attracted to fat people got it

[Billlewis]

🔥❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥🐷

[RingOfFire]

Does anyone really believe looks don't matter? Common' man! (to quote you know who) ... what kind of game are you playing if you believe that?

Looks matter. Why would you approach someone who obviously doesn't attract you right from the start or accept their approach to you?

Why do we always have to make believe everything is equal to everything else. That's a head game.

[Dongie]

Why not? I see by the answers n̈o woman would. Vindictivness is a bitch. Reverse that and how would they answer?

Oh, right. They don't do the asking they just sit back eating their cake and getting fat.

[Nefertity112]

Well actually, if his sole reason for rejecting her is because of looks (weight to be precise), then maybe he’s not worth dating because it says a lot about what he values. That’s why she shouldn’t date him.

[coachTanthony]

@Nefertity112 All guys value attraction and most aren't attracted to overweight women.

[Dongie]

Most women will turn down a fat guy if he gets the nerve to ask one out. Probably 99%.

[Dongie]

If I was the fat one and had the nerve to ask her out (not) got shot down. A year latter I'm chiseled and by some warp in the weather SHE asked my fine ass out. If I said no I'd kick myself. Of course I would go out with her. I wouldn't blame her for not wanting to go out with my fatass.

[Twalli]

@Nefertity112 you have to ne physically attractive to get dates. While it's true that attractiveness us subjective, clearly he doesn't fund unhealthy weight attractive. So now she's a healthy weight, so he can look at her other qualities and decide if she's worth his time because she decided to get healthy.

[_piotr]

@Nefertity112 What nonsense. Looks is important part of human while selecting a partner. Of course he is worth dating.

[Anonymous]

Have I had a man reject me before because he didn’t like my physicality and then pursue me after I became prettier in his eyes , I’d give him a chance - Just so, I’d make him work hard for earning my love and still, I would never give it. I’d just enjoy having him worship me the way I wished him to do it before but I never got it.

However, for love, he has no chance, he’d be used for my own happiness, I’d not be able to love or trust him anymore.

[justabuddy]

You should never use a person, for any reason at all.

[DextroShade]

Let's turn this around: she rejected a guy when he was still struggling to build himself up, then the guy quickly becomes a millionaire and she becomes interested; should he give her a second chance?

[coachTanthony]

Just posted that exact same question

[LazerBean]

She should do whatever she feels like doing 🤷🏽‍♀️ He can reject her for whatever reason, and she can reject him back for whatever reason.

[andreasderjuengere]

She'll get back to her former weight - as an experience.

Chance given, or not... with a world population of now ca. 8 bio., I wouldn't take the risk.

Also: what ''chance'' do we speak about? Isn't a man ALSO giving a ''chance'' in return?

[Twalli]

Form the title his only objection was her weight. So he didn't dislike her as a person, he just wanted a healthy girlfriend, which she is now.

[coachTanthony]

That is one way to look at it for sure.

[PeachyPie93]

Nah, if he couldn't love her bigger he won't really love her smaller. A douche bag is always a douche bag. He missed his chance and should move on, you should never give someone a second chance. It's a time waster.

[DreamLife7]

Bro? 🤣🤣 a big manly woman

[DreamLife7]

Big and manly? 🤣🤣

[DreamLife7]

I bet you got a big back too🤣. Why aren't you outside like a normal person in the summer?🤣

[PeachyPie93]

@DreamLife7 Says the troll that is literally here all day.

[PeachyPie93]

@DreamLife7 Trolling, troll, Im not gonna keep posting on this persons question.

[coachTanthony]

@DreamLife7 @PeachyPie93 Can we just all get along lol

[PeachyPie93]

@DreamLife7 Why you lying. Trying to get sympathy. Im not you who needs that 6ft guy to feel important. I only call you out because you attack woman constantly because you have no prospects for a man.

[coachTanthony]

@DreamLife7 Ok but you guys keep tripping my notifications over and over again... go yell at each other in DM

[PeachyPie93]

Sorry coach

[DreamLife7]

@coachTanthony yeah she's been doing this all night. I've had to delete her comments off my post harrassing men over their preferences.

[Kingofkings1992]

Dreamlife7 is a bitter, ugly bitch. Don’t waste your time on her pathetic ass.

[PeachyPie93]

@Kingofkings1992 Thanks, yeah she got me banned for a couple days and deactivated both her accounts and ran away lol. Sometimes its good to waste your time if it will get rid of someone obnoxious. Though I bet she will make a new account soon enough.

[Kingofkings1992]

@PeachyPie93 she’s a hypocrite too. I’ve seen her berate men about their preferences

[turnpost]

Yeah i would say probably no, dont give the guy a chance. The girl in the photo is hot in both photos.

However if she was like straight up super unhealthy like can't leave the living room then like give the guy a chance. Mostly we area all dating for a lifestyle. Healthy is the life goal but some delude themselves into thinking being fat is fine when things can be better.

[RavVid]

So why can't the guy have standards? She failed them but is now reaching them. He is giving her a second chance. She should too.

[OfMiceandMen]

If that was his sole criteria for not getting with her in the first place then it says a lot about him. Besides, it would be her turn to snub him for rejecting her in the first place and she can likely do better.

[coachTanthony]

Attraction isn't criteria its the foundation and start of moving forward with someone.

[OfMiceandMen]

But that foundation is based on initial attraction criteria, the face, the eyes, the hair, the body, her voice etc. It may be a shorter list, but it is still criteria in a mental checklist. If everything else checks out and it's just her body that does not meet his criteria, then isn't it worthwhile talking to her to see if there's a connection.
If the body outweighs all of those other criteria then there is really only one initial attraction quality he is looking for which says a lot about what he is interested in.

[coachTanthony]

If everything else checks out? Nobody is hanging out with someone they are not attracted too to see if everything else "checks out" lol Without physical attraction you simply have a business transaction or at best a friendship.

[kwsmith2]

Depends how tactful and compassionate he was the first time around.

[Anonymous]

It's the same both ways around. Man loses job, woman not supportive. Woman over weight, man not supportive.

How can you trust someone who is clearly a fair weather friend?

[BrassRaven]

She should agree to give him a chance go to dinner with him. Leave him high and dry and never speak to him again. Because fuck that guy. For the record. If that is the same girl. She looked great both thicker and thinner. Either way. That dudes an ass

[nawtee_me]

This is the problem with the world today… people base relationships on looks and when the person no longer looks like they did when they met one leaves the other. The divorce rate continues to climb because love is based on looks instead on compatibility. I am honest when I say that every girl that I have dated was a ten to me even if they were threes to everyone else.

[Vampirelover_12]

Teach him not to be so entitled. Males don't know a thing about what women face. How'd they like it if they were told to be super skinny to be deemed as attractive?

[justabuddy]

First off I believe fake... the fat goes away but the skin still stays stretched out.

I would need more info here. Were they friends for a short time, a long time, did he meet her for an hour, was this strictly an online thing. Was her weight a result of other mental problems that she finally got sorted out, genetics, or her environment.

This is like saying simply because a girl is dating a rich guy she must be a gold digger. It's possible but not always 100 percent true.

[TommyMountainFigure]

The weight should be irrelevant from the girl's perspective. He dumped her therefore he doesn't deserve another chance whether she's lost weight or not!

[DontAskMePeople]

FUXK NOOO.


She should also flaunt it Infront of him with a man of her choice just so he really sees what his missing.


Ahhh hindsight a great thing 👍😂


(Accidentaly posed opinion in reply, sorry for repeat)

[Jessikaah91]

Definitely not, he didn't want her while big so he can't want her because she lost weight. Just means he's purely there for her looks and there's more to a person then just that!

[DontAskMePeople]

FUXK NOOO.

She should also flaunt it Infront of him with a man of her choice just so he really sees what his missing.

Ahhh hindsight a great thing 👍😂

[SotiCoto]

Sure... why not?
He has trash taste if he preferred her underweight, and she is a loser and simp if she would downgrade herself for his sake. The two of them can just be pathetic losers together.

[alice55]

She shouldn't, everyone gain weight when they get older what's to say he wouldn't cheat on her / leave her if she gain some weight? I personally wouldn't trust a person that is so shallow

[BetaBucks]

But every single dude she dates after losing the weight would not have been attracted to her before she lost the weight. Otherwise she would have just aimed for less attractive dudes and never needed to lose the weight. If she would have been less superficial herself, she would have just accepted one of the many unattractive guys that she has rejected throughout her life. But she wasn't interested, and wanted the more attractive guys.

[FearlessFlame]

Here's to asking the same kind of questions till 2050

[Jess014]

I think she looks better with the weight on her?

[Jess014]

Who is the redhead?

[Lynnzee]

That person should've Iiked you for who you are from the beginning. They may just like your new body and not you personally.

[provokeesmokee]

Like the money question.

This means he isn't interested in your personality or in you. He's only interested in your body.

[MisterWack]

Hold him accountable. If you couldn’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve to handle me at my best.

[katiesmuff]

He had his chance to get that chick and passed! His loss on that pussy now.

[Dongie]

Well, not really. Before, he wouldn't have been able to find it.

[coachTanthony]

It's not a chick he was attracted to though.

[Dongie]

What it was?

[Dongie]

And she probably would have turned him down then otherwise if she wouldn't have she wouldn't now.

[CaptainSmartass]

If he prefers fit women, that's his choice. However, rejecting the lass was a dick move. by the way, is that the same woman in both pictures? She looks better in the first one. The second one looks malnourished.

Simples...

[NathanDavis]

they're looking at each other for the wrong reasons... keep them away

[dustybiker2]

She should enjoy his attempts. She's moved on to someone healthier though..

[SherryBomb]

About as despicable as women who only like men for their money. Hell to the Naw.

[Yannae]

She didn't get a chance at her worst so she shouldn't give him her best hm.

[coachTanthony]

Why should men give women chances at their worst? That's a stupid quote and cliche.

[Yannae]

I never said we should. If you look at the quote like that, of course the quote is stupid 😂

[Charliefretz329]

Girl rejects guy for being an unemployed alcoholic. Guy gets his act together stays sober and gets a job. Should guy give girl another chance now that she’s interested?

[_piotr]

Yes, why not. If somebody improved, then there is a chance for happy relationship.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't matter. It's not like her losing that way increased her IQ any. I'm sure she's still going to choose badly whether it be him or someone else.

[purplepoppy]

She only slimmed down to get him so yes

[DontAskMePeople]

I personally hope not. It's fantastic what she's achieved and would've been hard work.

He is not deserving of that being such a shallow minded and not accepting the person beneath the skin.

Appearance is superficial.

A Girl should never change for a man. Only acceptable option is for her own personal reasons.

Please don't encourage this, we need men's behaviour patterns to change not girls. And Vise Versa of course

[Anonymous]

Nope, because she knows the relationship is superficial and it won't ever be meaningful

[Dongie]

What a crock of shit. Do you go out with a fat ugly guy that asks you out? No, because fat ugly guys know better than to ask out a woman. Maybe she can find herself a big fat ass guy to take her out.

[Dongie]

I guess I can guess that answer.

[DishLady]

No. He's a dbag.

[Dongie]

Why? Because fat turns him off. I know a lot of d'bags of the other gender if that's the scale.

[DishLady]

@Dongie No, because he specifically is OK going back to her only when she's desirable to every guy... and what happens if they have kids and she gets fat again, huh? Divorce? Cheating? No no no... he's a walking red flag.

[Dongie]

What's his tastes have to do with other guys? He is either attracted or not. All women trash this guy. How many of you have rejected a very nice guy because of his physical short cummings?

[DishLady]

@Dongie (Short cummings? Erm...)

[Dongie]

I don't like this fucking question. You all act like you're perfect. Try walking in the guys' shoes before you talk all knowing. Shit, you fucks. Ask a bitch out and get shot down. Why? Why did she turn me down? Am I to FAT, talk like a hillbilly? Have an ugly nose? Gotta be some stinking reason. Shit

[Dongie]

Take it any old way it still does the same.

[Dongie]

Yeah, short comings, oh. Well I'm horny and frustrated. It could mean short, skinny, fat, or yeah, the other. Maybe a fatass.

[Dongie]

So she asked him out? Yeah, right. There's not a chance in hell unless fat does something to a woman in the pride department.

[Dongie]

Yeah, I spelled it wrong. It could be that too. Women need to do a lot of asking guys out. Go find the ugliest guy and ask him out. Maybe if you kiss him he'll turn into a frog.

[Dongie]

Everybody I see on here are dbags

[ChefPapiChulo]

She’ll still have a fat girls personality.

[coachTanthony]

LOL.

[mayurr]

No because he will leave her if she gained fat again.

[coachTanthony]

As he should though... nobody should be forced to stay attracted to somebody they are not.

[mayurr]

Nobody should be forced to stay with whom they don't find attractive but is that person faced some disease & became unattractive for some time then is it ok to leave?

[coachTanthony]

Geeez there will always be one off's in life kid. One off's are not the norm.

[KelsoAlexander]

if she still wants him yeah, if not then fuck Scott.

[FreyaRed]

No. It's just objectification.

[thegreenyogi]

No absolutely not.