Women divorced with children?

[Anonymous]

Guys, I know most guys see a woman with children and is immediately turned off. This sucks, because I was married for 14 years and I dealt with so much emotional, financial, and verbal abuse for the last 6 years. I left him, And so many men come up to me and tell me how beautiful I am or want to get to know me, but when they find out I have children they're like 🤯👀🏃🏼‍♂️. It makes me so sad, they don't come out and say that is the reason but they become distant because I'm not as available as a single woman with no kids. I feel cursed because I spent all of my youngest years giving all of my energy to a man that didn't actually love me back. And Noone wants a woman with kids... I guess this is a vent and not a question... Is it true tho? Having kids is a deal breaker?

[ohsheeT]

I think that societies way of thinking sometimes for me I look at it like this a woman with kids is a strong woman she's independent she has taken responsibility and that's that her kids come first she has a job she pays her debts and that means that she's totally trying to be 100% responsible and I like that she has the hardest road to travel but any woman that takes on that role in my eyes is a very strong woman is a very good woman you just have to remember this don't settle and just a matter of time when you do get a boyfriend that you have to remember this always your kids come first not him your kids are stuck with you until they are gone out of your house and it's your responsibility to make them still become better than you are and when a guy gets involved sometimes the woman strays her kids become second it can't be like that no matter how much you love the guy it's your kids if he wants to make them his kids that's cool but when it comes to discipline it's all you that's the bad part about a guy getting involved with a woman that has kids is he tries to control he calls it teaching but it's not teaching it's control because he wants what he wants I say keep going forward keep smiling and just be you it'll all work out

[Asker]

Most thoughtful answer so far, thank you for your honesty and kindness. 💙

[ohsheeT]

Well you have to remember they're your kids no matter what they come first you always have to be there for them you're going to date guys that are going to want to be there stepdad but they're going to also want to control them a lot of guys don't try to teach him they try to control them and they can't do that that's your job first of all he can be their friends he can help them in many many ways but he can't discipline them he has to teach them he has to understand that you're the only person that can discipline he can't take away from them he can't discipline but he can teach them if he's real person if he's really wants to make things work he will do that

[desertsky33]

Absolutely not, however it takes “two to tango” and you’ll absolutely need to prove you weren’t a contributing factor to the relationship falling apart. Being a single mother is more of a behavioral red flag than being an issue of having a child. Men will automatically tend to believe the other man was in the right, because other men are typically logical and they will see you as emotional off the bat. To combat that, you’ll need to demonstrate emotional stability and strength over sexuality and looks to fix this.

[Asker]

Yeah there's a reputation that is sometimes automatically thrown onto a woman that is divorced or has children. I accept the possibility of staying single.

[Sixgunsound]

I’ll let Stefan Molyneux take it from here. Obviously he isn’t referring to you specifically, but his research based data driven explanations are certainly compelling.
www.freedomain.com/.../the-truth-about-single-moms-

[Asker]

Yeah he is mostly speaking about single moms who decided to have children out of wedlock and the high possibility of child abuse. Doesn't relate to me but was interesting nonetheless

[Sixgunsound]

Thanks for not exploding at the podcast. You are more mature than many if not most people here. I made a point of saying not you specifically, but that is what a lot of men are thinking about single mothers without any history or context. The small but loud and horrible subgroup of people you have something in common ruin it for the vast majority of the rest. Ask a straight white male how he knows a little about that.

[Avicenna]

It's a dealbreaker for most men because they're almost always being asked to take on some or all of the role of the father and come last.

Your best chance is with a much older guy (it's tradeoff- you get someone mature and willing enough to play the role of father, he gets a much younger woman).

Just be careful who you bring around your kids.

[Asker]

Ugh no that sounds terrible.

But yea older guys don't mind most of the time. This guy that I really did like would mention things like playing video games with my son. But I felt bad about him feeling the need to do that. Like when i put myself in a guys shoes I totally understand why it could be a deal breaker. Im gonna stay single and not worry about it right now tho...

But thanks!

[genericname85]

Well for most people it is. Ask yourself. Would you want a man with kids if you were single without kids? It's like you get with someone accepting all the responsibilities that come with children without having enjoyed all the good parts that lead to having those children.

[Asker]

Yea... It sucks

[genericname85]

Well on the bright side at least you're not in your 40s or something. It would be even more difficult then.

[Asker]

Lol... Thanks for the laugh

[userxvi]

Hey! Don't say that I have been watching this trial on youtube about a women whos crazy ex husband tied her up and tried to kill her she was with him like 14 years also, the fucked up part is the dude fired his lawyer and is now representing himself asking and asked the person he tied up and sexually assaulted a bunch of questions.

Anyway they had kids too and SHE REMARRIED! Found new man :)

https://www.youtube.com/embed/nLZVOpDWO9s

This is the trial, the bald dude is LITERALLY her ex husband fired his lawyer and decided to represent himself...

[userxvi]

www.youtube.com/watch

Here is playlist of all videos of trial up to this point (its not over yet) She is very lucky to not been killed!

[userxvi]

Worry wrong link
www.youtube.com/playlist

[NoNameGuy123]

It's true for most men.

Most men don't want to take responsibility for another mans kids. Even if you say that you don't expect them to be their step-daddy, it'll still feel that way unless you're just hooking up.

There will always be another man involved, unless he is completely out of the picture and doesn't see his kids.

[jasco]

Their are men who are willing to do that, However it is low. I can't say its impossible. I do wish you luck in finding a man who will accept you after you get therapy for the abuse

[Asker]

Thanks

[jasco]

Np stay safe

[RavVid]

Well you are taking on a lot more with kids attached. I have in the past but wouldn't again. Sorry.

[Asker]

lol thank u for ur reply

[JPresidente]

Some men find it a deal breaker, yes. Mainly because they don't a ready made family and have to raise kids that are not their own. Plus it takes away time they would get to spend with only you and get to know you better.

[dolemite89]

you should date a guy that’s also divorced and has kids 🤷‍♂️

[Asker]

Yea, maybe one day

[Cheerfull009]

You have mentioned all the reason, it is great tragedy with Divorced women having kids, nobody takes responsibility of breeding children of other person, more over such women have lot of problems due to children, so men don't like to be go in problems

[Anonymous]

14 year marriage and you are in your early 20s. Were you forced to marry?

And it doesn't turn me off I just don't want to date them. I like having sex with them, but I wouldn't want to marry one or date one.

[Asker]

Im 30

[Asker]

Sorry, we were together 14 years married for 10

[Opinion Owner]

Oh it's just you account has the wrong age I didn't know. I thought you might've been in an arranged marriage

[Asker]

Understood

[UniquelyBasic]

Well you have to do a lot more to convince a man you're a better option than someone whos the same but with no kids.

[Asker]

Guess so

[maximumpower]

Takes a special guy to pick up where the other guy left off - especially if ex is still in the picture.
Personally - I avoided it all by making it a non-issue.
I would/will not date a gal with kids.

[Asker]

thanks for ur opinion. You don't have any kids yet?

[maximumpower]

Have.

[Asker]

Oh cool

[Berethor]

Yes single moms is a dealbreaker to many men, it was your choice to marry that man.

[Asker]

Ur vibe is so annoying. Every time I see your face there's a slightly annoying comment underneath. But yeah, good job replying

[TroyDT]

Most guys without children probably will not be terribly interested in a ready-made family. Men who have children themselves are probably a better bet..

[dudeinohio]

I've never had a problem with a woman with kids.

[Asker]

Yeah older men are usually more understanding and open. Younger guys not so much but it's understandable.

[Berethor]

Younger guys are more likely to want a clean page, that's why.

[MrTaboo]

Depends; is she a milf, kinky, willing to be my Sub, sons or daughters. There's many factors

[Nahid1707]

How old are you?😊

[Asker]

I'm 30