My boyfriend dumped me because I'm 30 and he says he wants to have healthier children with a younger girl. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

[SamIam96]

Your boyfriend is scum. You're better off without him. Look forward to having babies with a guy that cherishes you. Thirty is young by all normal standards.

You asked what to do... Eliminate him from your life. If he has stuff at your place, have him collect it asap. Get rid of what he doesn't collect. Finally, block him everywhere you can. There's no point in maintaining that connection.

Go out with friends. Drink good wine. Wear clothes that make you feel good. Buy something new, including undies you love. Don't dwell on the past.

[Lliam]

You found out that the guy a shallow, ignorant, piece of shit. You dodged a bullet. He doesn't love you.

The fact is, 30 is the ideal age for women to have babies.

"Experts say the best time to get pregnant is between your late 20s and early 30s. This age range is associated with the best outcomes for both you and your baby. One study pinpointed the ideal age to give birth to a first child as 30.5."

My mom was 29 when she married my dad, and 30 when she had me. She was 33 when my sister was born.

[RandomGuy1032]

How is wanting healthy kids shallow

[BlueScorpio]

@RandomGuy1032 because women in their 30s can have healthy children.. duh. Men who started this ridiculous crap are going to end up hurting themselves and make dating even harder for other men. Also it's men's spearmint quality that goes down with age.

[RandomGuy1032]

@BlueScorpio women in their 30s used to be grandmas back in the day

[Lliam]

@RandomGuy1032. Grow up. Get some education.
Read my original comment about age again.

[BlueScorpio]

@RandomGuy1032 you and both know that most men are not thinking about starting family very young, especially in their damn 20s these days! Their focusing on other shit, like school and trying to build up their finances. I work with young men, they are not ready or thinking about starting families right now let alone marriage.

[RandomGuy1032]

@BlueScorpio let alone marriage like its some ultimate goal

[BlueScorpio]

@RandomGuy1032 it usually was and still is for many people. I'm married, how long have you been married?

[RandomGuy1032]

@BlueScorpio im never getting married. That shits embarrassing. Let me explain it to you. All girls want to control men with sex. Then they get a little old, and have to settle on controlling just 1 dude. Yeah i dont need my own personal stripper tyvm

[Amy10223]

I'd be glad to be rid of him, because he obviously doesn't know a lot about women and reproductive science. It is true that having kids at younger ages is more advantageous to women, but there is no harm in having them in your 30's. I had my youngest at 37. She is a bright young lady today.

[rienna888]

that is so fucked up, you deserve so much better. I understand you might feel heartbroken but that monster doesn’t deserve you. I too got ghosted but my two year boyfriend recently. You will get over it and find someone who loves you unconditionally. You are a strong woman

[HighValue]

While age is a legitimate concern when wanting healthy kids, it should only factor in when getting a NEW partner. If someone gets a partner while they are young and THEN leaves her after she ages, it shows that he is actually only interested in the sexual part of the relationship. If he really wanted healthy kids (his stated reasoning) he would have already been trying to have them with you since you two were already together when you were younger. His stated reason is very likely dishonest based on this scenario.

[Jamie05rhs]

Exactly. I said the same thing (but you said I much better.)

[Jamie05rhs]

"it"

[Brokenheartedx]

He's talking rubbish.. He may get younger but there's no guarentee a baby will be born healthy. He seems nasty be thankful he's gone, whod want a kid with him with that attitude

[xyzfdg]

Do what I did when relationships fell out. Get books on body language, psychology, put in massive patience, sacrifice, and discipline to train yourself to grow adept at reading people so you're never a "victim" again. Basically, take personally responsibility for changing your future circumstances, rather than be upset at what "jerk" he is & "helpless victim" you are.

[PetiteBabe64]

Ya that Al happen 😂

[xyzfdg]

@PetiteBabe64 I wrote this answer because all it took is "what do I do?" at the end of the question to translate "this happened TO me. What do I do as I'm a helpless victim of a "jerk" who misled me?"

[xyzfdg]

Also I noticed many of even mens' answers were blaming the guy, while I find her description of his behavior contemptible, assuming its accuracy, put little, often NO admonishment, on her as if her actions have any role in producing this outcome, despite being a willing participant in the relationship with, presumably, choice to leave any time.

[PetiteBabe64]

She’s not a Victim if She wants to stay in a bad relationship. Nobody is holding a Gun to her head making her stay in the relationship.

[PetiteBabe64]

A Victim is somebody that Is a Victim that Is not willing to Have something happen to them and It happens to them. Like If your in a Park and Somebody Points a gun at you and Shoots the person dead that’s a victim.
Victims don’t stay in relationships because a victim doesn’t want bad things to happen.

[PetiteBabe64]

People call it victims mentality but I call it Willing Participant. Nobody stays in a bad relationship unless they want to be Abused.

[PetiteBabe64]

Just like You can’t Kill someone’s Friend and Be the victim when a Relative or friend hears about who did it and what happened and decides to Burn the killers house to the ground.
The killer can’t be a Victim

[PetiteBabe64]

We’re all responsible for our Actions and what happens After.

[Pinay_ako]

Bye bye shallow boy!

[xJayleenx]

Good riddance let his shallow ass go. I’m sorry that you went through this it’s his loss and only time let’s you know how loyal people truly are. Don’t ever contact him again and block him off of everywhere just forget him you deserve better.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

If your boyfriend desires to have a lot of kids at least 5 then at your age I can see it being a problem especially if the ages are spread between 2 to 3 years apart for the kids, nevertheless understand not ever lost is a lost if you get what I'm saying.

I know it hurts you but just go through the pain, heal from it and find someone better for you.

[mickmrly]

Don't let him come back even if he begs you. There are legitimate reasons to break up, but his reasoning is not just plain wrong but it completely minimises you to some form of a baby factory. Hope you find someone better.

[oliver4love]

Please don't mind, your boyfriend is sick in the mind person.. you are 30 and it's a perfect age for your 🤰 pregnancy and I feel he is not love you deeply from heart ♥... only sex and other activities is his need..

[TonightYouu]

Its not geriatric pregnancy is dangerous stop encouraging that shit

[Haha456]

@TonightYouu

most women who give birth are in their 30s. its the norm nowadays

[TonightYouu]

@Haha456 that doesn’t make it right or safe

[Haha456]

@TonightYouu

what makes you think your sperm quality doesn't decrease with age?

[TonightYouu]

@Haha456 what is sperm quality?
Tell me what you think it is

[Haha456]

@TonightYouu

older men tend to have retarded kids too.

[TonightYouu]

@Haha456 that’s because older men have more children

[Haha456]

@TonightYouu

because your sperm quality deteriorates with age. this is why young women tend to date young men, not old men

[TonightYouu]

@Haha456 do know what sperm quality is? If so tell me

[Haha456]

@TonightYouu
www.aau.edu/.../men-have-biological-clock-too-rutgers-study-finds

The study found that men 45 and older can experience decreased fertility and put their partners at risk for increased pregnancy complications such as gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and preterm birth. Infants born to older fathers were found to be at higher risk of premature birth, late still birth, low Apgar scores, low birth weight, higher incidence of newborn seizures and birth defects such as congenital heart disease and cleft palate. As they matured, these children were found to have an increased likelihood of childhood cancers, psychiatric and cognitive disorders, and autism.

[Haha456]

@TonightYouu

Two studies — one looking at over 7,000 couples going through in-vitro fertilization (IVF) and the second reviewing more than 40 years of medical literature — have indicated that the male biological clock starts ticking around age 40. At that point, the quality of sperm seems to begin decreasing

infertilityanswers.com/.../

[TonightYouu]

@Haha456 these are things we all know
But what is sperm quality?

[Haha456]

@TonightYouu

you understood the links, it means you already know what sperm quality is.

[TonightYouu]

@Haha456 no I want you to tell me what it is tell me what you think it is 😂

[Haha456]

@TonightYouu

sounds passive aggressive... you mad , bro?

[TonightYouu]

@Haha456 no im simply asking you to tell me what sperm quality is?

[Haha456]

@TonightYouu

You already know what it is. Thats why im saying u just mad

[TonightYouu]

@Haha456 yes but do you kno What it is homie?😂

[Haha456]

@TonightYouu

i know what it is. you're passive aggressive cuz u mad.

[Haha456]

@TonightYouu

im not having a baby with a man over 40. my baby is precious. i can't risk my kid coming out retarded.

[TonightYouu]

@Haha456 but you don’t even know what sperm quality is😂

[BlueScorpio]

Leave him behind, he wasted your time and if he really wanted family he could started that ahead time with you. Font let a man waste your time and your youth. You will find someone who is worthy of you.

[BlueScorpio]

He did you favor, cause what is he going to do with the younger when she hits 30? Drop her to and make her single mother? Men like this don't get that beauty fades and everyone ages. As much they complain about not being I control of dick size or height, you would think they would understand we can't control aging. If men are going to be pulling this Leo stunt, then women need to start vetting 20x times harder.

[TonightYouu]

What youth she’s 30 🤣

[Rania05]

'What should you do?'
Of course go on with your life, it's no use keeping someone who doesn't care about you.
It was a very disturbing reason for breakup to me.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Looks like he's mind is made up already.

Don't waste any more time & effort on that guy.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

My sister shacked up with a guy and had my niece at age 32 so that is B. S. you deserve better than him and there is many more other fish in the sea. Sorry, this happened to you.

[ohsheeT]

Tell him to go f*** himself there's nothing wrong at your age to having children it sounded like he's just was using you

[Bethany22]

At least he used science to back up his claims, and he didn't just leave you because you're starting to get wrinkles. But find someone else.

[mobiusforniner]

Find a guy who loves you for who you are instead of worrying about who you aren't. What a dick.

[TonightYouu]

How is he the dick in this situation?

[Milkdud]

Forget him. You're not getting younger, so find someone who is accepting of your age. Shouldn't be that hard since 30 isn't exactly ancient.

If you want kids you still have many years left to do so. And the increased risk of birth defects with the age of the mother shouldn't be a concern in your 30s. Besides good parents is more important anyways.

[FunkyMonkee]

Smack him upside the head and come see me! How is 30 too old to have kids? Lemmie get this straight! You can't fuck a girl when she's in her prime, you have to wait `til she's at least 18 but, she's too old to make kids at 25?

[smilelots]

what can you do but move on to someone that respect and loves and wants to care for you the way you need and deserves to have in your life. good luck on the next man smiles.

[Finchie40]

Move on from him cuz he is a douchebag , cuz that is the dumbest thing I ever heard , it means he is a selfish piece of shit and I feel Bad for the girl that spreads her legs for him

[jini1]

wow. that's just mean. I would definitely find someone much better than him.