If you’re 30 and up, they assume you’re married or divorced with kids…
Or you’re too hot to look at, you must have a lineup of men or women to date you… or engaged or in a relationship because you’re good looking.
Or you’re 40 and still single, you have a house full of cats 🤣 or you’re too complicated to date or too old to marry.
What’s your take?
They seem to think I'm some basement dweller with no job, simply because I'm almost 40 and can best a lot of them at online arguments. They make a lot of other insane assumptions about me as well, trying to depict me as the neck beard Wojack. That's not how I look, and they get most other details wrong. They also assume I'm a virgin with no luck at all with women, simply because I'm currently single.
That I've had lovers and at least two of them are dead now, and I managed to survive hell and back multiple times, and I made it and they didn't, doesn't seem real or possible to my detractors.
I have to admit, I expected when we met that you'd have some baggage/history, and weren't totally innocent. You've admitted to as much, though I'd date you anyway, were it a practical option. I'm not pretentious about a woman's history. It takes a lot more than "she's taken a blown load from someone else inside her years earlier" to scare me away, even if that's enough to make my family not trust you. Virgin women my age are unicorns in today's world, and I've adjusted my expectations accordingly. Heck, your number could be as high as 26, I'd still give you a fair chance! (The average number for modern women is, what, nine?)
But to hear you don't have a small army lining up to date you does confuse me. You seem like quite a catch, and there are many thirsty men today.
I don't assume you a cat lady though. You've established that you're way too nice/sweet to be the type that only cats would want to be around.
I believe the common denominator behind why so many fall back on assumptions like these, is because they're a lot easier to accept and believe than the truth.
I could say I've performed Herculean feats to save a store, survived a hurricane, dated a Chinese saleswoman, translated a GTA fanfic into 9 other languages, invented a government waste assessment system with its own calculator and algorithm, attempted to help a man rescue his daughter from being stranded in Egypt while Obama made a mess of that country (I wasn't very successful though), made two unofficial stuff packs for The Sims 4, popularized the term "machinomic," etc. But no one believes that. They just assume I'm some do-nothing bum.
Once people look at me, especially at my height, they understand why I'm single.
I have no idea what people assume about me.
I look middle age, but younger than my age, often, depending on what I'm wearing. But when I speak, and what I speak about, probably tips them off at my age, or thereabouts. I wear jewellery when I'm out (except if it's for exercise), and often that includes my diamond engagement ring, and maybe a coordinating band, on my ring finger, so it would be easy to know that I'm married. Plus, the longer I talk with someone, the more likely it is to come up (or I will bring it up), "my husband..." this or that. Sometimes it's conscious, sometimes it just happens.
But, again, I have no idea about peoples' assumptions. I guess I have very polite people around me. They don't say anything about this. I would think this is cultural, Pinay.
No because I look a lot younger than my age.
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People assume I'm single cause according to then I look and act like a teenager. I'm not stupid or immature but I have poor coordination skills and my lack of expertise makes me look like an amateur.
u I’m 67, divorced, and have no kids!
Them: "Newly married?"
Me: "Yes. How can you tell?"
Them: "Big rock and beautiful wedding band. Plus, 30s is good age to get married, right?"
Me: "How old do you think I am?"
Them: "30-ish."
Me: "Thanks! However, I'm already 50."
Them: "No way! Damn! But, wait... We thought you said you're a newly-wed."
Me: "If you consider 3 years to be newly married, that'd be us."
Most people assume shit and it’s dumb to do , but people do it anyways , As for me I grew up learning to never really judge a book by it’s cover so I am not really a judge mental person, it might cross my mind about someone but I don’t say anything until I am completely sure on someone , I treat everyone the same way I want to be treated , if they are nice to me I am nice to them back , if they are rude to me I might be rude to them back
or I just walk away. Not everyone is going to like you or agree with you so to me the best thing to do is just walk away and surround yourself with people that do like you and agree with you
Yes, they do. Usually, people think I'm younger but when they find out that I'm 30 they ask if I'm married or if I have a boyfriend and often, they assume that I have kids.
My older sister and a friend of my mother think that I should be married.
People From my past who I’ve lost contact with will sometimes bump into me and ask if I have a wife and kids like they just say it’s great to see you! So are you all settled down with a family now? And I’m just there like 😐…
Most of these people are in relationships that are very new but seem to think I’m a family man with a loving wife but the truth is I’m single no kids and with the way my last fiancée did me dirty I’ll probably remain this way cuz I can’t do another failed long lasting relationship it’ll unhinge me I swear 😅🤣
For some reason girls assume I'm experienced or kind of a player... while in reality I'm a loner lol... I remember waiting so long to finally tell the one girl I liked that I have feelings for her only for her to tell me " okay, how many girls did you say that to? 😐.. She was literally the first girl I ever talk to 😅... Also most of my friends were surprised to know I'm single...
Yeah it's odd.. I don't think I give that vibe at all 🤷♂️
I'm blushing 🤣🤣... But that actually might be true.. Most of them have seen other girls attracted to me... and they thought I was handsome so they just assumed... It makes sense
People usually assume I’m either single or taken. Most of the time they assume I’m taken because I’m very comfortable having conversations for a long periods of time without being sexual or too flirty. I know how to be patient and make my move when I need to.
Yes, I think they do. I don't know if they assume about me specifically, but I have heard guys say degrading assumptions about how easy it probably is to ask a woman over 30 out because she probably hasn't been asked out in a long time. Or, the boyfriends of these women assume they are going to start 'pestering' them soon about getting married because of their age. It makes me furious!
People make a lot of assumptions based on appearances. Did you know most US citizens still assume you’re intelligent if you wear glasses? Haha!
I’m an old, unmarried man with no kids, and i travel for work. So most people probably assume i’m a serial killer. They might be right. 😳
Unfortunately prejudice is human nature no matter how hard some try to vilify it.
As far as age goes there are things that go along with it too.
The older people get the less they are biologically likely to produce healthy children which turns away many who are in fact looking to procreate. It's somewhat evolutionary people don't know why they do it it's just how they are wired to think in a primal setting
Does she have a ring?
when she catches a guy staring does she stare back and smile?
does she stare at guys?
doesn’t matter. Married and single women do these and the opposite. I’ve even known unattractive women (to me) wear wedding rings to avoid being approached. The fun is the mystery.
all that to say, I can’t really assume anything because all women are different.
We definitely do make assumptions based on age/looks/personality. We tend to think young bright girls are fancy free and older women are married with children and in betweens are in serious long term relationships. Ditto for guys so it is not gender based.
Most of the time its mostly accurate but not always.
I try not to make assumptions. Everyone had different life situations and experiences. Aa friend of mine dated a guy in his mid 30s that owned his own kitchen remodeling business. He had never been on a date before, According to her he was a good looking guy and seemed like a good catch. She wondered why he had never dated. He said he was from a small town that was in the middle of nowhere and there were not many options.
m not sure... lol
people don't really throw their assumptions at me
but one common question I get is "HOW" are you still single...
not why, but how... I think that's a funny one, lol
I never assume anyone is in a relationship. Unless I see them with someone there is nothing that makes anyone look to me like they are attached. Really hot people look like they are worried about not being hot. Everyone looks lonely to me 😂
Everyone at my job knows I'm married. I don't know if other people think I'm single but I do know loads of people keep telling me they think in still in my early 20s so that's a plus.
Men online sometimes are surprised I'm single. It's actually a bit annoying because it comes out like "you're so gorgeous! How are you still single?"
Two things bother me about that: 1) my looks are apparently one of the best things about me 2) Since I'm pretty and not in a relationship, there must be something wrong with me. Otherwise, I'd be snapped up.
Wow.
That's not what they are thinking. Rather, they see your beauty (which is about all ANYONE can know about you when they first meet you - your looks), and they imagine all the suitors you must have had, and how many opportunities you likely had to find a good partner.
Keep in mind that the vast majority of men have to work extremely hard to get ANY interest from women, so when they see someone who was blessed with the ability to have a ton of opportunity, they are just really surprised that you didn't take advantage of that while you could.
It's like wondering how someone who won half a billion dollars in the lottery could be broke 8 years later.
@MrOracle Thanks for the response. I can understand that, but I actually HAVEN'T had that many suitors unless you count online ones. Often they didn't treat me particularly well.
I'm a bit shy so I haven't met that many guys in person either and the one I was crazy about turned me down.
So I guess they see that my looks would probably make it easier when sometimes it felt like the complete opposite..
"I'm a bit shy"
This is the reason why lots of men who found you attractive didn't approach you. Most men, even if they're very interested, are afraid to approach a girl unless he can get SOME signs of interest from her - a smile, a laugh, a touch on the arm, etc.
Shy people almost never return signs of interest - in fact, they often turn away or walk away - and guys will ALWAYS interpret this as "disinterest" from her rather than assuming that she's just shy. Nearly all shy girls have this problem, and needless to say, shy guys almost never get girls unless they're extraordinarily handsome, or have some incredible talent.
But if you weren't shy, I assure you, your cup would runneth over with guys trying to be with you.
To be clear for anyone reading this, I'm just explaning how these things work, so that people who don't already know these things can learn. This is not in any way an attack or disagreement with @katybaggins.
@MrOracle That's okay, I know you're not. Honestly, part of the problem is I rarely know when a guy is even flirting with me. I have to literally google it afterward or ask it here like I did a few days ago! But if I do like a guy, I can make it clear. It's just so hard to get there unless I know them pretty well already.
I understand. As I said, all that is very common with shy people. It's not your fault that you are shy, and it's not "fair", but it is your burden to bear, and it does mean that you have to work harder than others might, all else being equal.
Anyway, I just mostly wanted you to realize that the guys weren't judging you as much as they were surprised that you found things difficult given that your beauty would have given you so much more opportunity. If you told those guys "I'm really shy, so meeting new people is a struggle for me at times", they'd have immediately understood - it's just that guys have been trained to take responsibility for "approach failures", and so they always assume it was his own (or the guy's) issue, and they never assume it was the girl's issue. That's why virtually no guy will ever assume that you're shy - they just assume you aren't interested, so they give up and go away.
Women assume I'm married or got a girlfriend. They don't understand I'm chasing money then they finally realize how cold the energy really gets and only then do they not bother.
People make assumptions about others based on all kinds of things. Interestingly, most of the time, they are wrong.
WhY ASSuME, JusT AsK. As for me I’m single & accepting applications & when people ask if I’m single I usually say that or I say it depends on who’s asking.
I assume they know with the ring on my left hand. But that hasn't stopped some women. May wife says the ring is not too remind other women im married, but to remind me...
I don't know, I've never been... guessed?
I'm married (first marriage) with kids (almost all grown).
I think there are certain people who will characterize your relationship status. They are just revealing their bias. I pay them no mind.
People probably see me as too complicated to date 😂
Because I'm too weird 😮
Most people think I'm about 40.(I'll be 70 next July 6.)
All the time, when I make friends they frequently say "you must get all the girls". In reality I've only been in one serious relationship when I was 19. I'm 42 but people think I'm in my mid 20's until I tell them.
Yes I think a lot of people assume that.. I personally don't for the most part. The only one I assume is if you are hot that you have and endless supply of people wanting you.
Definitely. That's the story of my life. They're so wrong though.
@Pinay_ako by the way read my my take i just posted ;)
Peoples relationship status is of no consequence to me because it is unlikely to be related to the purpose of the interaction.
I have no idea... but I will say they may think I have lots of cats at home. I have two!
They do a lots, my mom and her friends assume things without evidence when gossiping
Yeah sometimes. People assume I’m straight, married, and have a kid.
Yes guys mostly think i am taken so they feel have no chance with me
Yes, people can look at me and immediately know I've never had a girlfriend and never will
Just the kind of face I have. I can say for certain that if anyone on this site no matter how nice they think they are, were to see my face, there is no way anyone's first thought of my face would be a positive thought, most likely a negative one or maybe ones of pity. I go through that daily, I see the way people look at me and this how I know none of their thoughts of me could be positive.
No thanks, last girl that said that to me gave a disgusted look and ghosted me after she tried pretending to be a friend and convincing me she wasn't like everyone else. I can't keep people from seeing my face in public but I'll never show my face online ever again, people are just too mean.
I'm not saying you're mean I'm saying I can't risk it, you know how much it hurts for someone to act like a friend and then when you decide to show them what you look like they look at you in disgust and then ghost because it hurts so much and I am not ever going through that ever again. It hurts less when strangers look at me that way because I'm not invested in being their friend, that's why I vowed I would never show my face online that and if I ever did show my face online I'm afraid people would post my face and make horrible memes and I just can't risk that.
Presumably some women do. But I wouldn't hold it against them if they ask about it.
I always get that I am way to old from guys my own age. They referred to me as a Karen.
No they do not. It’s my personality and other parts of my body.
@Pinay_ako Thank you for the Like; am sure you know what part of my body I mentioned.
Well they'd probably think I was in a high school sweetheart relationship based off my looks until they find out my age lol
I assume people just think I'm some nerdy degenerate who has 5 brain cells who couldn't possibly ever look like she was with a hot dude
It doesn’t matter what they assume. If it ain’t true. They look like the clown nkt me
Usually people got surprised when they heard that I am single.
Yes they do but not by your age if your good looking they assume your taken it happens to me all the time and I ask why did they think I was in a relationship and they alway say well your an attractive guy so I thought you was spoken for
I am 65 divorced with two grown sons a grown step son and step daughter. Hell I survived all of them growing up and now it is my turn to find someone. Are you available?
Yep... you would be amazed by how many get surprised that i have never had a girlfriend or been in a relationship. All i can say is "i don't understand it either. I'm a pretty decent looking guy"
How come you weren't never in a relationship?
Literally due to attraction issues and my horrible luck when it comes to romance. Most of the time when im attracted to someone, it's they are already in a relationship, don't see me in that way, see me more like a brother, I'm ghosted by them, they have no interest in me whatsoever, don't find me attractive at all, she is actually 17(I'm obviously not touching that.), they are working and i understand they treat me that way because it's their job to be kind and/or flirty to the customer; or she's actually lesbian.
Those i do manage to attract... are mainly really obease women, Which i am super not attracted to.
I think people assume where is a Wife and Kids and can't believe I'm single.
No most know I’m single in the streets. Women can tell when they don’t see a ring on your finger
I look young so most people don't assume that I'm married or have kids
Yes. People do assume many things. I like to make it so they just keep guessing. Lol.
People get surprised sometimes cause I don't act my age so they think I'm younger. Also surprised when I tell them that...
Yes, people assume because I'm not a typical girl that I can't have boy issues like everyone else
I can't really explain it any other way, i find it hard to get a boyfriend
More like if theg see yiu wirh same oerson a lot in public
People always assume I'm dating or have relationship experience, its extremely annoying. It was always like this.
If you're single and they assume this.. That's a compliment dude.
omg this question is so abusive!! 🤣
@Pinay_ako It is true. Inside they think, *”Damn they are smart”* 😎
it's based on different things 1 of those different things bein looks
Never thought about it. To many possibilities and one doesn’t wanna assume
I think we all do to some extent. But age is just a number
Yes. But its be crazy if people have no doubs to judge by the look.
Lol yeah. This is true. I admit I am guilty.
@Pinay_ako Well, both, since you put it that way. Lol
Lol. Very true.
No one has as of yet.
Never “ASSUME” makes an ass of you and me.
Well said & I use the same saying.
@Static_In_The_Attic great minds think alike
@jennz6 sick minds think alike as well. Hahaha.
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