True or False: Women don't approach men because they won't, and they can't. It's a hardwired instinct that can not and will not change?

Question

LuvLuv89 · Accepted Answer

There are cultures within Western society where women WON'T (90 - 100%) approach men... and it's culturally established, such as NZ. Perhaps New York is different, for example? It's openly accepted standard practice on Tinder (i. e. first message). Reasons include fear of rejection, support for the traditional male stereotype when it is convenient to do so (i. e. "men are the leaders, and we follow"), and men hurling themselves at women so frequently that women think "why bother". I think all of the above reasons can interact with each other... and are a sign of weakness in modern women. I commonly say "1950s women were more empowered on an individual level (not collective level) than modern women, and have the scars to prove it". Women systematically rule out 100% of the men who choose not to approach them; if your goal is to find a good man, then this is a terrible habit to get into. I thought that a woman approaching a man (who may be timid) would be very feminist, as the woman takes the initiative and has a higher chance of additional influence over the relationship... but no, another example of neo-feminist incoherence. A great follow up question is: Why do some men choose not to approach women?

sassy_receptor · Accepted Answer

i think a lot of women don't approach men because they're scared of rejection. i also think that it lies in traditional expectations of the man being the confident leader who should make the first moves and court the woman. as someone already mentioned, traditional expectations put on women by men play a part as well. men will gloat and preach about how they want submissive women who are agreeable, not aggressive/loud, etc. so continuing to push this narrative but wanting women to approach you doesn't make much sense.

that being said, i have approached countless men that i was interested in. mainly because i'm an extroverted person who is not patient enough for guys to always come to me and i can be quite impulsive. it's worked about 80% of time and if i find a guy attractive enough, i will definitely approach him. that being said, the men that always stick out in my mind are the ones who approached me or made the first move. they hold a special place in my heart because the confidence and the way they approached was attractive.

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

Haha! This should be a fun one!
I’m certain it’s not hardwired. The extension of that logic is that the 15% of women who do approach men are wired wrong. Ell oh ell! Evolutionarily speaking, it’s highly unlikely that THAT is the defect. Since those women are significantly more likely to connect with select mates than those who sit around and hope for the best of the creeps to make a move, that very small minority is likely the next step in evolution, if anything.
Historically, passive men were no bueno, so women COULD wait around and catch a fine fish. Now, assertive men are “toxic”. If for no other reason beyond self preservation, intelligent men are going to be more passive. Women aren’t catching up to their own trend though. Marriage rates are at their lowest in over a century and still slowing, while childbirth rates are slowing significantly too. Something’s gotta give. Ell oh ell!

Lookingforthetruth · Accepted Answer

This is extremely false Women do message, do approach and do set up dates for men that they are sexually attracted towards. The reason we don't see women approaching men as often has to do for the following reasons:

1. Vast majority of men are not sexually attractive from a physical standpoint when it comes to women. This is why men often are told to work on themselves and have to build up their money, material possession and status to attract a mate.

2. Women are constantly hounded by average guys constantly trying to date/sex with them. Thus, women have no need to approach men since the men are coming to them.

True or False: Women don't approach men because they won't, and they can't. It's a hardwired instinct that can not and will not change?

3. Women often fear rejection more since they have more shallow egos compared to men. Many women believe they are the prize and men must work to win her.

4. Women may not approach due to social stigmatization of appearing slutty/easy.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Women don't approach men because they don't; they CAN but they don't. It's not a hardwired instinct; it is a behavior that is learned from such an early age that it appears to be instinctive. . . but it is not.

Avicenna · Answer

They certainly can and do if they want to.

ShellyB · Answer

I think there are two reasons that kind of go together.

1. It is not usually necessary, we get approached in many situations of course there may be guys you wish would approach you who do not but sometimes we are approached enough that it is annoying so why add to that.

2. If we got a reputation for approaching guys, we become "the crazy girl" or "the desperate girl."
That said there are ways to get a specific guy's interest if I list them it would sound stereotypical but it does work. Like for example have a friend you trust ask him about you, or ask him to help you with something. Also everybody is different and some things I am implying are bad ideas may actually work great in some situations never say never. I am just describing the typical common stuff, whatever works for somebody is great!!

Finchie40 · Answer

False , Girls have approached me a lot of times , if you like someone you like someone whether I like them back or not is the chance that is being taken , I will admit I approached more girls then girls have approached me , lol but most girl’s are shy , but when a girl approaches me whether I find her attractive or not , I am always a gentleman about it , I always think how nervous she might of been to take the chance to walk up to me, so in no way shape or form am I rude about it whether I am attracted to her or not , I can’t stand people that are rude right from the start that think their shit don’t stink , the only time you should be rude is if they won’t take No for an answer , We don’t walk around with signs flashing over our heads displaying what we are into or what are relationship status is , so people that are rude need a wake up call and realize
Their shit stinks as well

Apple1996 · Answer

Nah I approached my husband 10 years ago and asked him for his number. It's not a difficult thing for women to do. I have no idea why some women don't approach first.

JSmuve · Answer

I voted False because the phrasing is based on a faulty premise. It presumes that the primary or only reason is because women lack the agency to do it. They can do it, but choose not to and will do it only under certain circumstances. It's funny, I posted a question a while back asking if a woman was interested in a man, she'd approach him, and not a single woman said she would; all of them voted saying they wouldn't. It was a small sample size but was interesting nonetheless.

Dinklex3 · Answer

Women do approach men. Just because they don't approach you doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

RavVid · Answer

It is more that it is unnecessary and counter to a girls interests.

The acid test is does the guy want to fuck them? A girl approaching a man is unlikely to convert indifference into trouser tent lust.

Letting the guy approach her is the first screening test a girl does, is the way to look at it. It probably means he wants to fuck her and therefore there are possibilities. He is confident enough to do it so he has at least that going for him too.

Then they just want to know if he is in a relationship followed by net asset backing and cash flow.

JDAC092299 · Answer

Sorry but that’s some weak boy energy if you don’t like a women approaching you, like by all means say no if you’re not attracted politely but I’ve seen how some of us ridicule women for being the one to ask someone out it’s like bro you know how much confidence and bravery it takes to approach someone in that way there’s no need to shatter it. Besides some of us like myself prefer being approached because it shows willingly and a desire to at the very least get to know you, don’t get me wrong I approach women too but if one approached me first and was decent looking in my eyes I’d give her a chance any-day. Loves hard to find we all need to be like this to increase our odds of finding that ever illusive “one” lets speed things up XD

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No. It's not an instinct. It's culture and tradition. Women are HIGHLY influenced and controlled by the culture. If they think that something wouldn't be deemed appropriate by society, they won't do it. (Keep in mind we're talking about their peer group, not their parents.)

CA4444 · Answer

I like to ‘play’ with expectations and I like to approach sometimes, i find it fun :) i also like to flirt even if I’m more serious, I don’t see why men would do all the ‘work’ it’s not easy for anyone to engage

lottiebannotie · Answer

I would say it's more to do with social conditioning some women do approach guys but it's not the socially accepted norm so as a result it's rarer and women worry about being judged if they show there cards to early and some men also find it either off-putting or even intimidating

Staximus · Answer

I get approached by drunk bar sluts at work all the time but rarely by other normal behaving women. About 20 years ago, I asked a female friend why she never calls me and she said "my mom says a lady never calls first" and I took that as an indicator that she had a romantic interest in me, I thought we were just friends. Meanwhile, despite this ladylike thought process, she was fucking damn near every douche bag cool guy in town. Nothing ever happened between us. Now she is married with children but calls me first all the time, which I guess means I blew my chance 20 years ago.

Anonymous · Answer

Women are less likely on the account that female hormones tend to make them more fearful and less brave combined with the fact that men are quite a bit larger and stronger makes such approaching more threatening.

Also women tend not to be drawn to men who are not bold enough to take the risk of approaching them, as such men would be assumed to also not be fearless enough to protect them.

NathanDavis · Answer

blah, bleh, bluh... same thing I always say, in my experience, the majority of the times girls are the ones approaching me... yaddah yaddah yahoo...

everyone can have it different... is not the same exact experience for everyone in this world, lol

humanearth · Answer

False Tell that to the many women that approached me. What can I say, I'm a chick magnet

Haha456 · Answer

its quite hilarious how men want submissive, shy, subservient timid, housewife women but they also complain about women not approaching them.

its not burger king. you can't just have it your way. anytime you want it.

TonightYouu · Answer

There is some true to this women in general care a lot more about how others see them or what others think of them and approaching a man looks very desperate pathetic and embarrassing for a lot of women especially when women are unable to handle rejection and she is very attractive because whether they say it or not attractive women feel entitled to mens attention which is why they obsess over men who wouldn’t spit in their direction

Geminigirl97xo · Answer

I approached my boyfriend cause I thought he was hot. We’re in 2022. Both genders can do the approaching!

SkyCastle90 · Answer

False.

I think your statenent should be: women don't propose to men because they won't or they can't.

Asking a guy out is becoming more and more common. I even ask my fiance out. However, I rarely hear about women proposing. Personally, unlike asking him out years prior, I was hesitant to propose because of... tradition I guess. Proposing felt masculine to me for some reason, so I left that for him to do when he was ready.

purplepoppy · Answer

I think women are more likely to be the ones doing the approaching because were nosey and can do it without looking like a sex offender

Kori1236 · Answer

I’ve approached every partner but one. So I’d say false.

AsaKyo · Answer

I could approach them awkwardly and make a fool out of myself, kind of like a guy does

The one time I did approach a guy on my own, it went good, but that was only because he liked me too, so I guess I was just lucky, I don't know

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I get approached a lot by women, unfortunately none that are a match as of yet.

Whats rare is getting approached by older women, the ones in their early 20s are MUCH bolder in my experience, but that might be because of how I look, so take that with a grain of salt.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Women approach, few do. The ones that do are just very motivated and interested in that ONE dude that brings it out of her.

Anonymous · Answer

I feel like its all about how a person sees themselves. There are confident women who do approach men, and there are nervous men who has never approached a woman.

Ps, i am one of those who can't and won't make the first move, because i always imagine being rejected and that would make me miserable for 3 months tops.

Bethany22 · Answer

women don't approach men because it's a complete waste of time

AndrésC64 · Answer

Women certainly can approach men, but they don't for a couple of reasons. First of all, they've never had to, and still really don't. Ask any woman on here how many times she's been approached by guys. Hell, ask any woman anywhere how often she gets approached. Women don't need to. Second, they don't approach men because some women, and men, still live in the 1950s and think that it's somehow wrong for a girl to approach a guy.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Women don't approach men because they don't have to. They understand that men will approach men. If the government legalized prostitution tomorrow so that getting sex was as easy as ordering coffee from Starbucks. Women all over the world would be approaching men in droves within minutes of the announcement.

spartan55 · Answer

I think it's also part of a built in excuse to avoid rejection.

Jennz6 · Answer

I have approached men

Grubhub · Answer

Latin women are harder to get than black or white women and they’re the biggest prize in the planet but I’ve been approached mostly by them. Maybe 80 % of my approaches.

Twalli · Answer

A little known fact is that women used to make the first move. They'd drop something near a man and he'd pick it up. Then when he gave it back to them, a conversaiton would start. Invariably this made them closer and if there was a spark, things followed. So women were traditoanlly the ones who made the first move, although it seemed like men would.

maximumpower · Answer

"... Women don't approach men..."

Are you serious? You've obviously never seen women around single doctors, lawyers, military officers, pilots, politicians, etc. ESPECIALLY if they have money, influence and a famous family.

Get that crap out of your head RIGHT now.

loveslongnails · Answer

If they "couldn't", no woman ever would have. This stuff is learned behavior, coach. Thanks for the question!

Summeroflove · Answer

Plenty of women do. I personally don’t want to be with the kind of woman who expects a man to put everything into a relationship and contribute nothing herself.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Partly but also social awkwardness and no idea how to start conversations.

Anonymous · Answer

That's a copout. It's a natural inclination for both genders to not WANT to approach the other. Women just have the advantage of eons of thier gender roles to alleviate any responsibility to do it🤣.

But we've reached a time in history where social interaction is very f***ed up. Primarily genders get together primarily just for coitis, sometimes that results in offspring. And that is our future ladies and gentlemen. I'm just glad I won't be here to see it. 🤣🤣🤣

MCheetah · Answer

False.  Most  women don't approach men because that's extra work and risks rejection, so why would they actually be the brave ones, when so many feel entitled not to be?

Anonymous · Answer

I've approached men, but it's humiliating and I feel like shit. There's something wrong with me if I'm single, but no, I can't do anything to fix it, there's something wrong with me if I do that too. But of course, not a single guy will approach me. I wish I could just give up on ever being even remotely ok in society, no matter what I do I'm a piece of shit.

FreyaRed · Answer

You're a smart guy I'm sure you figured out it's not really a problem for most girls few decades ago.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I've approached a lot of men, but kind of stopped cause a lot of time those men think I just approached cause I want sex.

douride2 · Answer

It would appear the majority here including myself don't seem to agree with you. I will approach a guy if I like.

Belgie · Answer

False. There are several potential reasons but fear is a big one, and of course it's surmountable.

DoctorSex · Answer

Women approach. I usually get approached at least twice a week  Kind regards, DoctorSex

Anonymous · Answer

I mean, they COULD, but since they WANT a dude who has the balls to ask them out, it makes sense that they don't.

art84 · Answer

False, if a women was interested in a guy she would talk to him.

USLegionary · Answer

Partly true but I guarantee any time you've successfully approached a woman she instigated it.

msc545 · Answer

They don't because they don't have to, or in the case of ugly women, are afraid to.

AviatorTom · Answer

Must be false. I've had several women approach me, and I'm nothing special, just an average guy.

onepeaceoflove · Answer

Won't and can't are very different. Most probably won't but doesn't mean they're incapable

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

They don't approach men because: 1. They don't have any good social skills 2. They feel entitled to believe that men should always approach them. 3. They're afraid of rejection

Raaj4you · Answer

FALSE, Women must approach men. Women expect that only men must initiate. why? I am a Shy guy, I don't approach any girl. If both men and women don't approach then how and when will you date and marry?

victoriaxoxo · Answer

I approach men all the time. I would say 70% of my pulls and dates, I pursued first.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

General speaking, they won't, but there are exceptions to the rule.

Ninania · Answer

Lol no. I approach men all the time.

normalice · Answer

I've was approached by nearly all of the girls I've been with.

WhitneySnow · Answer

No. I like when they approach better but I’ll approach a guy if it’s really important.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Oh, women will approach men if they want to.

LovingJo · Answer

It's cos men are jerks 😂😉

True or False: Women don't approach men because they won't, and they can't. It's a hardwired instinct that can not and will not change?

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True or False: Women don't approach men because they won't, and they can't. It's a hardwired instinct that can not and will not change?

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