I said no to date. Did I make the right decision?

[Anonymous]

I went with a "friend" of mine to get coffee on campus. When I say "friend" I mean we worked an event at the start of the school year and haven't seen each other since, but we really connected that week. We recently saw each other again and agreed to get coffee during the week. During our time together, he talked about himself A LOT. He never flirted or complimented me, but we did have deep-ish conversations about faith. Near the end, he suddenly said, "we should go out." It caught me off guard for a moment as I wasn't expecting it. I said no to him, he's genuinely a good/cool guy but I really don't have time to date right now. He seemed to understand and we ended on good terms.

Though I really don't have time to date, I also had another reason that I did not tell him. Although our personalities are compatible, our values are not. He is atheist, smokes/vapes, drinks regularly and doesn't like/want kids. I am Catholic, don't smoke, and although I like a good lemon drop martini, I rarely drink (it's just not my thing). I also don't want children of my own, but I want to be a child/teen counselor.

I feel kinda bad as I did enjoy myself while we were together. Should I have said yes and see where it headed?

[Summeroflove]

Hey you absolutely made the right decision. You don’t have to date anyone you don’t want to. As long as you’re nice about it and don’t kill their confidence so hopefully they will find someone else

Number one. You don’t have time and number two it’s just not meant to be. You have standards on who you want and need.

It sucks to reject someone. But you seem like a good friend. Maybe you can help set him up with someone whose more compatible. I’m a Christian. I couldn’t date someone who did not have a lot of the same morals, ethics, and values as myself.

You made the right choice

[Asker]

Thank you! I appreciate that :) he's a good and cool dude, just not my type, relationship wise.

[Summeroflove]

You’re welcome. You made the right call. When you don’t want to date someone. Don’t.

For whatever reason it is. You’re allowed to say no.

[Guy13]

You blew it. Equally yoked and good conversation about faith is so rare that it takes priority over lots of initial errors.

[Asker]

I blew it? What? How so?

[Guy13]

You said that you had a great conversation about faith. That’s rare. I would have pursued for that reason alone. Who cares if she talks to much about herself nervously. My priority is different from yours…that’s what is going on.

[Asker]

We don’t even have the same values!! We like different things and honestly all we have in common is work. We have different ideas about faith. Dating isn’t to convert someone.

[Guy13]

It would have been helpful if you clarified some things in the written space under question 🙂

[Asker]

My dude... that was my question. It was literally in the last paragraph.