Sometimes it hurts so much I find it hard to breathe. 29 days no contact?

We all write on these forums looking for what we want to hear or what we believe to be the right answer. Whatever makes us feel better to get through the night or maybe even the next day. It's been 5 weeks since my breakup and as much as I try to move on and do all the things everyone tells you you are suppose to do after a breakup nothing changes. It's like I am stuck in a frozen purgatory.

I do things to get my mind off of him. I talk to a therapist. I do the work I need to do for myself. It's been 29 days since we last spoke and I haven't heard a work. I thought going no contact would change the circumstance and he would miss me just as much as I miss him but my hope is turning to unrequited.

I miss him everyday. Some days are better than others. He was so kind and caring towards me but once we fought and he engaged his friends in the matter it was over like a switch. He made the decision. When he broke up with me he told me he loves me but because we fought the relationship was unhealthy. I'm having trouble understanding that if you love someone (and I was the only one to say it back to him he told me) why was what we had so easy to give up instead putting the work in and becoming stronger.

He said he ran out of chances and with his friend and his brother telling him it was unhealthy it doesn't make it any easier. I don't think this is where we are meant to be.

We are both 30.

A couple days after the breakup we met up for a drink. He said I hurt him with the fights and he needs space. That we can go out as friends but he isn't promising anything else. I asked if we could slowly date and continue to get to know each other and he said he needs some time before that. His friends have accused me of making fake online accounts and are making me out to be something I'm not.

If he wanted to talk to me he would. If he wanted to see me he would.

We will both be going back to get our masters th


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well if he feels it is unhealthy and he needed to break away there is not really anything you can do but let him be. If he wanted to get back with you he would have by now or will in the future, but a month of no contact just means it's time to let go just for now. Yeah you are going to miss him and think about him but with time the intensity will lessen. I'm the same age as you and at this point in life if he's done let it be and move on. Continue to get the help you need and take away from the experience all the lessons that you can so that things will be right whether he comes back or someone new enters your life. Most important keep working on yourself. He mentioned two key things you Hurt him and things were Unhealthy. So continue working on yourself.


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • It seems as if he didn't have much difficulty ending your relationship, almost as if he was simply waiting for an excuse to do it. Apparently, he was not as dedicated to the relationship as you were and perhaps he stayed with you just for the fringe benefits.

    I'm sure that you will tell me that you love him, but other than that, why would you go back to this guy? How would things be different the second time around?

    • I think there is more to learn from one another and there was true love there. I don't go throwing that word around easily. He's the 2nd person in my life I've felt this way about and I his.

    • Show All
    • I don't know how or why he gave up on us so quickly.

    • Since you don't know, it might mean that some of your assumptions are wrong.

  • You are too damn old go do something

  • Well if he hasn't contacted you after a month chances are he never will. He said he needed space so you can't contact him until he's ready. I'm on my 35th day of NC and at this point I just have to admit it's really over and that she didn't really love since she just let our breakup happen without a fight nor contacted me after all this time. So just continue to live your life, some days or better than others but slowly the better days will come more often... trust me I'm there

    • I'm having trouble getting through each day. I cry everyday. When he broke up with me he was crying and telling me he loves me. I literally can't move on.

    • Sorry to hear that, don't think about it as moving on just try to make it through each day. I know now you feel empty without that person but you've made it through 29 days so you can do more :)

What Girls Said 3

  • Well, there are always depression pills.

  • Even though I never went through this pain that you are experiencing , I can assure you that days will seem longer and days might seem more lonely as the pain of 'breaking up' cave in, but days will get better! The only thing you can do is spend time with yourself, cry, listen to music on full blast to zone yourself out, and to get your mind off things (hobbies), something ammusing, such as: scary movie3 , coming to America, norbit, or the Klumps.

    I hope you feel better!

    • Work on you first!

  • You will get over it in time.

    • I'm looking to reconcile

Recommended myTakes