Why are guys intimidated by smart and career driven women who make lots of money?

Question

I see so many guys who don't want to date women (long term dating/seeking marriage) that have great careers or really good earning potential. Does this have something to do with hypergame?

Weapon77 · Accepted Answer

A more inaccurate, leading, and loaded question has never been asked. Does that sound like an exaggeration or misrepresentation? Good, because so was the original question.

While there are certainly some men out there who are legitimately intimidated by such women, it's less than 25% of men--probably far less (closer to 10% or fewer). What is actually going on is FAR more complicated. The main factor at play, however, is that smart and career-driven women either reject most guys (even good ones) and only go for men SMARTER and/or MORE CAREER-DRIVEN than themselves (which is a very small number of men), or they are seen as potential sugar mamas by sleazy guys.

Another thing that happens somewhat less often is that most guys won't bother with sucu women because they assume those women won't be interestwd in them. Be honest, I could be the smartest guy on this app and none of the smart, career driven women on here would actually go for me since I'm fresh out of college and haven't had time to establish a career.

Yet another reason that has nothing to do with intimidation is the fact that the vast majority of men aren't attracted to career-driven women because those women aren't going to be much help with kids or maintaining a family. Whether you think it's right or not, that's the reality for most men.

Keep in mind that ALL MEN, except for a few abusive assholes, love smart women. No one wants a complete moron. Even men who want to be smarter than their woman still want her to be smarter than a 5th grader. What women perceive as not wanting smart women is actually that men hate women who act like they're smart, especially since they usually think themselves smarter than they actually are. There is nothing sexoer than a smart woman who knows she's smart but doesn't rub it in everyone's faces, and there is nothing more repulsive than an idiot who thinks she's Marie Curie and broadcasts it to the world--it's embarassing to date someone like that.

In summation, women are often intimidated by women who are smarter or more career-driven than they are, so they assume that men must be too, which explains this misunderstanding. But really 9/10 men are not and never will be intimidated by women in any way. And gay men are no exception, for the record. This might be crushing to hear for someone with a big ego, but no real man is intimidated by women on any way. The only ones who are are the rare lowest rung incels because even the typical incel isn't intimidated (they are filled with disdain instead). Even abusers really aren't intimidated, they relish in abusing their power, as sick as that is.

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

Show me one that gives a damn about me and what I do, and isn't married already, and maybe I can fix this perception. Otherwise, I have always found more solace in the broken and the humble.

Met a woman who was robbed of her kids, and even branded a felon over a crime that never happened! Then denied the right to defend herself, with the court using covid as an excuse to deny her justice. (Translation: it was pure greed!)

She's got a warrior's heart, and would go thermonuclear on the corruption in the Florida system that even DeSantis is blind to, except she's poor, and invisible on her own.

If she weren't already married, I would've snatched her up quickly. She seemed like a woman of class in almost every respect, and had a fire for God too. Forced to work a menial cleaning job, because the BS felony charge meant no one else would hire her.

Her only flaw, that I could tell, was she was a vaper. Most men are shallow, and would see her as beneath them. I consider the corrupt who ruined her life to be the real sewer rats, however.

Again , I only didn't pursue, because she's already married. But she gained an ally that day, however small. The men that ruined her and her husband's lives, deserve to be hated. Deserve to dangle from a rope until they spill like Judas!

It'll be a long time before the filth gets washed away. Money buys it insurance from facing justice. But not forever.

Stories like these fulfill me more than any shallow hook up ever will.

A billionaire on a plane who can offer me neither love nor commonality of cause nor a job, is boring to me. Even if she has a pretty face.

A battered Amy Lee lookalike with a music note tattoo on her right eyebrow, struggling to deliver the local paper on time, who still finds time to find me interesting, and always has something to say that I can get behind, would have my attention for a lot longer. And if I can sympathize with her, even better!

I need to know I can matter. If I don't feel that, nothing else is ever going to be enough.

FitCarmen · Accepted Answer

I am originally from what they say is a 3rd world country. I have a more traditional upbringing. I do have my own business but not pulling in the big bucks. I am about my man first and career is secondary.

In the beginning I asked my boyfriend why look for a woman outside your country. Why not just find a local woman. One of the reasons my boyfriend said he started to look for a woman from outside his country was many career women from his country want and feel they deserve everything. Not just money, security, possessions but also feel they deserve the hottest guy the most successful guy and one that is even more succesful then they are. Added not so noticeable in the younger ladies just getting started in life (under 30) but very noticable in women over 45. The ladies already been separated or divoreced etc. and experienced life. He added from his experienced it seemed half the women over 45 if succesful dont feel they really need a guy. I think it goes both ways and a successful guy dont need a successful woman or rather he has the choice. My boyfriend just wanted a traditional woman not a career first woman.

Where I come from men can find a woman in a more traditional sense.

I have no idea what hypergame is lol.

BlackBeauty90 · Accepted Answer

American men with their backward ideologies & spinelessness towards women screaming about "feminism" when they're mostly loud-mouthed whores that make real/original feminists spin in their graves in absolute disgust... are intimidated.

Europe where modern feminism isn't a plague - where women have been treated with respect, as equals, etc. & original feminism is predominantly - and you'll find men prefer a strong independent woman not a sweep-the-floor achieve nothing maid.

MrOracle · Answer

Men are  not  intimidated by them - they are  uninterested  in them. Men don't want or need what they have to offer, and they don't offer (and have no interest in offering) what men want in a woman. If you drove a diesel truck, does the fact that you ignore gas pumps mean they intimidate you? Of course not - they just have no utility to a person driving a diesel. It's a feminist narrative that men are intimidated by "strong and independent women", because they don't want to face the realization that men simply don't WANT them. Feminism teaches women NOT to be what men want, or NOT to attract the men they want, but instead to BECOME the men they want. And that seems fun to women in their 20s, when they still get lots of male attention anyway, but that comes at the expense of the rest of their lives. Such women will be ALONE, and most are not happy about it, but it is the consequence of their own choices. When women hit 35 and are single and have no family, and realize that all they have to look forward to is 30 more years of going to work, they tend to be depressed and often miserable - and of course, men are to blame for not wanting them...

Avicenna · Answer

That's largely a myth. Think about it- the type of woman you're describing, would she want to "settle"? Most unlikely. That means the universe of potential partners for her is relatively small, especially if she's applying hypergamy. Most guys realize that such a woman will not be interested in dating them unless they make more money than her or have more status than her. And that's even before things like personal chemistry and compatibility are considered.

kylee2437 · Answer

I’d say because it makes a girl more independent and less willing to tolerate bullshit because she has what she needs already

ManOnFire · Answer

Why does it have to mean a man is intimidated because he's not into those kinds of women? What about the men who are also career driven and make lots of money but still don't want those kinds of women? Are they intimidated too?

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think most men love intelligent women, they are just afraid of getting dumped or cheated on or mistreated if they choose somebody much higher in status.

Summeroflove · Answer

I’m not. More for me. Right? But I don’t date for that either.  If she’s into me. Then she’s into me.

inhua · Answer

hypergamy definitely plays a role. those type of women have historically made it clear they won't date down, so why would the vast majority of men bother when the result is already known.

those women also tend to be "strong and independent and need no man" so there's that also. men are simply giving those women their wish and leaving them alone.

even then, men aren't attracted to the same things in a woman that women find attractive in a man i. e. men don't care about a woman's height but women care about a man's height, same thing in regards to money.

looks and personality are really the 2 main things, men care about in a woman. doesn't matter what her job is, what her income is or how famous she is. the waitress at a small cafe can be just as attractive as a successful female lawyer.

for men's it's different. a plumber or janitor won't receive anywhere near the level of attraction a doctor or pro-athlete would receive from women (that is assuming all other factors are equal to one another)

BeMuse · Answer

I've never met any man that was against women having/making money. I have met men that joke about wanting to land a rich girl. That said, most guys don't really care about a girls money so long she is not creating financial stress for him. Men hate gold diggers because they are users. Men hate women, that tell them they need to be more ambitious and earn more or make 5 year plans because it’s controlling behavior and men like to run our own lives independently. Men hate women that are spendthrift that blow all their money on frivolous shit, wrack up debt, etc. and then expect the man to take care of the necessities of life because those women are being irresponsible. Men hate women that constantly want to travel, because that obligates men to also spend money on all those trips to jet set around to cater to her interests when he most likely would prefer to spend his hard earned money on things that interest him more rather than entertaining her with his money. She may be paying her own way, but she is still leaching his time and resources indirectly. If you ask women if they like men that use them, that are irresponsible, that are controlling, and that stress them out I’m sure most women will be like fuck that I don’t want anything to due with a man like that. Well, men feel the same way about women like that.

Anonymous · Answer

Simple math. Women, due to gender roles EXPECT guys to be more productive then them. Because traditionally it has always been a guys role to "bring home the bacon", so to speak. Over the past few generations feminism has pushed hard for "equality"🤣. But women have twisted the message into they deserve equal pay without equal expectations 🙄. On top of this a simple understanding of economics tells us that society has unlimited wants and needs but limited resources. By women competing with men for them resources reduces a man's earning potential. However it DOESN'T reduce a woman's EXPECTATIONS for that man. In simple terms if a woman makes 25k she expects him to make 50k, If she makes 50k she expects him to make 100k, etc. I'm all for a man working as hard as he can, and making as much as he can. But any guy with an I. Q. over 60 KNOWS that stereotypical, smart, career driven women is actually code for "unrealistic expectations".

This will change when women accept that they can't have it both ways. Embrace all of "equality" or none of it.

mettamanx · Answer

I don't know but maybe this can help you what I'm about to say. I have always wanted to be a house husband. So I would be willing to swap that part in a relationship. I'm confident in myself and what I do for a career, but if I found a woman who made more and treated me fairly I have no problem being the support role. Nothing is wrong with me either, like I'm educated (even though that doesn't mean I'm smart... but I am lol) and have a career in media. Now with me saying that, I think most women wouldn't find that a plus. Some would maybe find off putting. When a guy is smart and career driven, In most scenarios, his partner only has to be a good person or a good fit to him. Like a woman's finances or job is never a question at that point, she just needs to be able to fit him emotionally. A woman who is smart and career driven doesn't just want a man who fits her emotionally, spiritually, etc. She wants that plus a guy who makes the same amount as her, has the same level of education as her, and would be willing to give all that up potentially for her if the relationship goes down that road of having children. That type of woman wants a man that doesn't exist and all of that being known it's like whats the point of talking to her if you're a man at her level when it comes to career and smarts. Or for those who tried and aren't at her "level" she rejects. It's not intimidation. I didn't even bring up physical attraction which is another barrier. in my opinion of course.

mstbooblover · Answer

If you allow me to emit a hypothesis, all vanity set aside it's not really the plain fact those women earn a lot more money than me that is the problem, but their availability in a private relation. Those ladies just have no time left for a normal family. You know, private moments, kids, vacation all together, etc.

Many men are not aware of a similar problem about themselves when they let their professional life take all their time at the expense of a private life with a spouse and a family.

I hold no grudge against women giving their priority to an interesting career, but there's a price to pay. It's a choice depending on people's capabilities and tendencies.

Pegases · Answer

Intimidated is the wrong word. Most career focused women with money have developed very masculine frames, in order to succeed in the corporate world as a woman. In most cases, these women have a hard time embracing their feminine essence, and simply aren't as attractive as women that haven't been indoctrinated into the corporate world. Also, most women that fall in this category, are quick to say they don't need a man, which is probably one of the biggest turn offs that I hear from women that make just as much as the average man most often. Far too often these are the extreme feminists that are really just bitter women that just hate all men. Now of course there are always exceptions, but based on what I've seen, there aren't many.

jshm2 · Answer

They aren't. Quite the opposite in fact.

There have also been numerous studies and articles on the subject.

https://www.theguardian.com/money/2010/nov/10/internet-scam-female-victims

Most women conned and scammed by so called "Tinder Swindlers" are in fact smart and career driven women, professionals in their fields.

But they are absolute idiots in relationships and social interactions. Hence tend to fall easily for relationship scams.

Anonymous · Answer

It have to do with traditions from centuries ago. Very sexist man-made traditions and ideals to be exact. Traditions that highlight women as men serving baby-making machines and men being, free minded breadwinners of what sexist men have influenced ‘family’ to mean and be.

Therefore, overall, I would say men who are intimidated by intelligence women are weak pathetic life sucking vultures. I mean seriously, how does women being respected, not raped, abused, and having equal rights negatively men? It’s doesn’t. All I see is men who have rapist mentalities, naturally abusive, and psychotic wanting control over women’s lives in ever aspect. It’s. . creepy I would say

aaron210419 · Answer

I wouldn't have a problem going out with a woman that makes more than me, the problem is that women call this "dating down". Despite the the fact that these women want a man that makes as much or more than they do but somehow don't consider it "dating down" for the man that makes more than her. In general, men do not care how much a woman make, the only thing that's unattractive is the stereotypical attitude that is perceived to come with this type of woman. If you are a high earning woman and don't look down on men that earn less than you do then you are one of the few. Personally I don't care how much a girl makes, I enjoy intelligent conversations especially with smart women, and I don't base the value of another human being by how much they make.
*Side note* these are also the type of women that claim they are being oppressed by the gender wage gap even though it has been debunked numerous times.

happyfoetus · Answer

Coz men want pretty looking girls who they could brag as achievement. Not "Lady" who could be extremely independent and doesn't need the world's complement to fulfil her needs.

As far as I am concerned, independent and career focused women (mostly) possess very good self discipline and mannerism. They exert themselves in a manner, that never lets any dick and harry take advantage of her kindness and most importantly her ability to say "NO" scares not just men but even women away.

The ability to not over-exert sounds rude to the whole world when in reality you are standing up for yourself.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Because men generally want someone feminine, caring, attractive, younger, innocent, home skills, and available.

Careers, education, and income are not things men generally are very interested in for a woman. For example a lawyer or a waitress are both acceptable jobs for a woman. Which one is more feminine? Who is sweeter and more caring? I don't know but generally a person's work rubs off on them and a high stress lawyer might be... more stressed out than a woman working at hooters (they always seem so pleasant in there). Either way, the lawyer woman gets zero extra points for being a lawyer. So now what else does she have to offer when it comes to the things listed above that men actually care about?

Anonymous · Answer

They're not. It's a scapegoat women use to explain why they can't attract and keep a good man.

The real problem these women have is their personality, character and attitudes, especially toward men and relationships. It's easy to spot because these women put off a vibe that is very unappealing. They are the polar opposite of what men are drawn to.

Trust me, if you have a warm, kind, friendly disposition, a positive attitude toward men and relationships, you know how to treat a man well, and are even mildly physically attractive, you are a high value woman who will have no problem attracting men. If you are smart and successful, that's a bonus, but not a requirement, and certainly not a turnoff.

People who make this claim are not doing women any favors because they are misleading women about how to be successful with men. You as a man should know this. Makes me wonder if you really are a woman.

Anonymous · Answer

Guys do not see women as datable the same way women look at guys,

To a guy it doesn't matter if she has a great career or really good earning potential,

It may sound old fashioned but guys are looking at the woman's personality, their wanting a family, being able to be at least as skilled in the kitchen as the guys are, are looking for someone to be a partner.

In short they are not looking for ‘Boss Babes’/ ‘Strong and independent and need no man’ types as it would be like trying to date a man.

Adam1978 · Answer

Incorrect statement, just another shame tactics. If you pursue things that doesn't attract men don't be surprised if you don't attract men. Nothing intimidating about it. You can't change mens preferences just because they don't match what you want to become. You must accept that you earn it for yourself not to get a partner and accept that women that did engage in things men prefer is now has gained an advantage unlike you.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

For curiosity.. these guys you see being like that.. do you see them mostly online or is it in real life too?

Because in my experience, online they really like to speak up about that, meanwhile I never encounter people like that out and about.
And i am thinking; is it something with to do with the types of people we meet online vs irl.
I don't know, maybe It's just different from place to place.

Lliam · Answer

Smart and makes lots of money sounds good.

I have no problem with career driven unless the career requires all of her time or lots of travel.

Such a high powered, career woman might also be too decisive, certain, bossy, ambitious, or no nonsense to make a good partner. I'm not saying that she would necessarily have to be any of those things, though.

Owasso · Answer

Women today don't have a clue what guys want. That's a fact. Not... a... clue. They're too busy with Cashapp, IG, SC, and "Going live" to get horny old men to drop $ into their Cashapp. Most don't even talk with guys, and on the rare occasions they're even with guys... they've got their faces stuck in their phone, or they're looking around... everywhere but AT him. They're looking around to see who else is watching THEM. They're not concerned with empathy, self reflection or understanding... only pumping up their own egos through social media and public validation. I see it probably 500 times daily. They're totally disengaged from the opposite gender. 1981 is gone people. Forever. It's not coming back.

Fireguy17 · Answer

why would that intimidate someone.
I like it when women are independent, then they can take care of themselves if you are busy or go somewhere.
You don't need to be tied to the hip all the time because she needs you around to take care of her.
It is just too much work.

Anonymous · Answer

They are not intimidated, just not attracted. Maybe for a woman to have a great career and become a high earner leans more towards her developing more masculine traits than feminine. A mans life is a battle... he doesn't need to come home to one more...

DrBanana · Answer

It’s not that your independence and strong will intimidates us.

Is how you carry your self in life and the moment.

Looks and success help you get and attract people but the personality and how you carry yourself gets them to stay.

In my opinion

McKellar · Answer

That's because those ladies expect us men to match up to their game of life. There are men who can, but you can't expect all men to. There are men who have had a great deal amount of struggle in life, and they just simply can't match up at that time.

Solitario_94 · Answer

When I think about a woman who is highly driven and career focused and earns more money than me, I just I feel like for me that person is in a different league than me so it's something I'm not intimidated by, it's just that I know my place.

I just know that I'm average and my path in life is different then a lot of women that are like that.

Quigly · Answer

Corporations don't hire smart people, they hire useful idiots.

Career women don't want children or families. They are just materialistic.

They want a fake marriage with a fake husband with no kids and they only want to be around for the occasional fake couples photo to show to their fake friends.

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

Because men who make a lot of money don’t care about her money if a woman in Colombia who has never seen a computer lives off of 5k a year and reads at 3rd grade level is hotter than her

and the men who make less money than her she doesn’t want because she will take on most of the financial load

thats why these women struggle with dating you can’t have a career then try to slap a relationship together

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I like to date career women. It is my preference really. But if she thinks she needs to "compete" then it can be a turnoff for me. Or if I have to "prove to her" that my career has societal value or whatever.

Hulk30 · Answer

that all depends on how ya use it now please understand that we're not intimidated that's a myth and smart dont necessarily mean intelligent and most career driven women tend to be independent and independent by definition means for yourself by yourself also most independent women tend to be masculine as hell so intimidated is the wrong word to describe all that turned off is the right way to describe all that

sheenagwapa · Answer

ego which i think is unfair. regardless of gender a human being wants some sense of fulfillment on their life. i think it's selfish for a man to block his wife from workinh because it's not good for his ego

Naruto_Uzumaki · Answer

It's because they're independent and don't need a man at their side. Either they're insecure or afraid of a woman leaving them

Anonymous · Answer

We aren't. This same "smart career driven women" are also usually insufferable women who have a superiority complex. Especially the ones that claim to be "strong independent women"

Why do you think the vast majority of that kind of women are either single or divorced? They have zero relationship skills, and are often times narcissistic..

LazerBean · Answer

They're not. Women who seem like they will prioritize their career over their future children are just usually unappealing.

melanieeeB · Answer

I think ego and that they don't get to control someone who knows their worth or who knows that she is at least financially not dependent to stay, if he is an asshole to her

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

They’re not. I mean, maybe you are, but you’d be the first that i’ve ever known. That’s just nonsense women tell themselves to excuse intolerable behavior.

Sarahr123 · Answer

Nope it is just some men and they’re usually Tate and Pearl fanboys. A man should support his partner in whatever she chooses to do whether it is to be a homemaker or a career woman or both.

dustybiker · Answer

Raised with the boring (to me) mentality of having to be the provider. Men who are comfortable with strong woman are far more attractive.

MCheetah · Answer

We're NOT. We just don't want bitchy masculine aggressive women who act like men! So sick of people gaslighting this BS on here.

es20490446e · Answer

The women that I met like that, we got along quite well. Doctors, CEOs and entrepreneurs. Women that say such things aren't as successful. They are just making excuses for their unmanageable attitude.

John_Doesnt · Answer

Not intimidated, I just hate the double standard. Career driven men are expected to be an ATM for their woman and buy presents, give her money, pay for dates etc. But a rich woman never feels that she should buy stuff for her man.

PizzaPieMamaBear · Answer

From my experience they aren’t it’s not what they’re looking for however. They want a wife not a business investor

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I'm not! There's a girl in the show, "Chuck" who plays the part, Hannah. She is VERY attractive BECAUSE she's very adult, intelligent and career-minded.

snowboarder720 · Answer

My babe has a dual masters degree and makes way more more than I do. I can’t say that I was intimidated. I admired that.

fonduegirl · Answer

Mostly because they're stupid. They're passing great money and great money for their traditional, stupid beliefs that say men need to fucking earn for shit.

Dargil · Answer

Simple answer, no. She is unlikely for me to know how much she earns... I wouldn't check or ask. I can detect career driven and decide if I am interested in her. Intimidated? No,

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Its probably the traits that come with being very successful and very driven that makes those women less desirable by men.

SlothySlob · Answer

They can't feel superior if she's better than them.

grega239 · Answer

Why does everyone think men are intimidated by such women? Like, has anyone considered that men just aren't attracted to these women?

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I'll let you know when I actually meet one that isn't doing so well off some man's work.

holdem4884 · Answer

Divorce is far more likely when the wife out earns the husband

USLegionary · Answer

It's not intimidation. They want the best possible mate.

joeldalton · Answer

We aren't. We're turned off by women who have to keep reminding us they're "smart and career driven". Plus most men want children and a working mom isn't the best option.

Chthou95 · Answer

They're intimidated. They just don't care about shit. Men aren't hypergamous and don't care about how much money a woman is making. Men care about other things. Men just dont find it attractive.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Your mistaking "intimidated " for uninterested.

Anonymous · Answer

Good question. I classify these guys having the tiny dick syndrome, where they feel they must have the upper hand somewhere especially in the money making capabilities. How pathetic.

Zenit93 · Answer

Not intimidated so much as uninterested. I want my wife to prioritize me and the family. Not her boss.

Stevefiveo · Answer

I don't have that problem. I like those kind of women. But sadly there are men out there that can not handle those kind of women.

Why are guys intimidated by smart and career driven women who make lots of money?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why are women intimidated by successful men?

Why are guys intimidated by smart and career driven women who make lots of money?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why are women intimidated by successful men?

We're glad to see you liked this post.