Guy I was barely dating got a tattoo after we discussed tattoos (not related to me, but just a general tattoo) and I dumped him not long after?

[Anonymous]

Does this make me a terrible person? It happened about 5 years ago and I still think about it sometimes.

So basically, I was dating this guy for 2 or 3 months. We were hanging out a lot, but weren't official. I thought it was all fun and games. One night, though, we were discussing tattoos we wanted to get. I told him I wanted a small tattoo on my wrist, and he told me he wanted one on his arm. About a week later, when I saw him again, he had gotten the tattoo. It wasn't at all related to me, but I still feel bad because I didn't feel the chemistry and ended up breaking things off not long after... I didn't want to lead him on.

I sometimes still wonder if he thinks of me when he looks at that tattoo. On the one hand, I did not ask him to get the tattoo. He chose to get it out of his own volition. Also, we weren't even official and I didn't think things were that serious. We never had that discussion. On the other hand, I just feel bad that he may have had his hopes up that it was more than it was.

Does this make me a bad person?

[mortonc57]

Similar boat, but reversed. On our 1 yr anniversary we talked about getting matching tattoos, but on the appt day she was called into work and couldn't make it. I didn't want to lose my deposit, so I went alone.

Long story short: I walked out about 2 hours later with a giant hot pink Playboy bunny on my arm. She loved the bunny logo, and this was what she wanted; where I went wrong was I impulsively made decisions on the fly. I remember thinking, wow, my buddies will make fun of me for this, but she will LOVE it !

Well, when I picked her up from work I had this shiny new bunny tattoo and when she saw it she was LIVID ! She hated it, said I looked like an idiot and how stupid I looked. I dropped her off and I was devastated at this point.

I called her for several days, and finally was able to hook up with her at the mall. I wore a tank top to show off my tattoo for her, and it was a little flaky and itchy at this point.

She definitely was not herself, and she kept looking at the tattoo on my arm with a grimace. It was at this point with my hot pink Playboy bunny tattoo, in public, at a mall, I realized the funny looks I was getting from almost everybody.

Then she turned and said she didn't think it would work between us, and that the tattoo was just the final straw, and she left on her own.

That was 12 years ago when I was 19, and my tattoo is still there, joined with another symmetrical blue on on the other arm, and I still often think of how it could have worked out differently.

[God_of_Thunder]

I don't think that makes you a bad person, in any way.

As you said, he got the tattoo on his own, and it's not like he got your name tattooed on himself. He said that he'd wanted one, anyway, and then went out and got one.

At best, your conversation convinced him to do something he'd already wanted to do, anyway. At worst, he got it as a way to connect with you over your mutual interest in them. If it were the latter, than he's just an idiot, which is not your fault.

Regardless of his reasons, it was his choice, so you've nothing to feel responsible for, or bad about.

[DavidRaul]

I don't he got that tattoo because of you. He had planned getting a tattoo for a long time as you already said. And yes it kind of feels rude breaking off with someone because they got a tattoo because they intended to have one and discussed with you. Also, you don't have to feel bad about it. Its in the past

[Sevenpointfive]

what a moron! tattoo after one month is a red flag.