My boyfriend told me his type is confident woman who is straightforward. He said he hasn't met any girl like that. When i asked him why he is with me if i'm not his type he said that he wants to experiment and experience different stuff. Is he serious about me? i am confused because he said he wants more than casual
My opinion may sound strange in your ears.
But if you have lost your virginity to him already and you really want to make things work, then sometimes a change can be a sacrifice. You must be wary though that a relationship should be balanced. If you sacrifice things and he doesn't, then you don't get the same love in return that you actually deserve.
The fact that you're wondering whether you should change, means he really has a great girlfriend already. I believe that in a relationship we must addapt at times to make things work. But don't let it pull out of proportion.
If you have not engaged in sex with him yet, and you're still virgin, I recommend to stand your ground first. Research pointed out that marriages are generally happier when partners had only one sexual partner in their lives. Before you give virginity to a man, you must really wonder whether this is the one you want to grow old with.
That is my opinion, and I also live with those values. Try to work things out with him. Many people will call your boyfriend's statement a red flag, but I think you should talk with him first and consider for yourself whether it is possible and whether it will make you happy.
Kind regards ^^
There’s a balance in there. First thing is to better communicate and define what “his type is” in his head. At that point, you will know if he is realistic snd whether you can meet those expectations and demands. It is a process and not a panic button. Make him express what he means BEFORE trying to accommodate. If he loves you then he will jump at the opportunity to explain and mold you into his little princess. WALK CAREFULLY!!
but if a guy genuinely likes a girl , he won't try to mold her to his type right? I am not asking him to change for me. this is my first relationship
If a guy said I wasn't his type, I would break it off with him and tell her m to go find what he's looking for. Don't ever turn yourself into a pretzel for a guy like him. He is using you for sex. And then he's going to break it off with you anyway when he feels like experiencing someone else.
Every way you look at this, you two will never be the girl for him, cause he will always be looking for "The one".
You deserve to have someone love you for who you are right now. No need to change.
I bet he goes on a lot of dating sites looking for the perfect girl.
Let go of this guy now and don't leave scratch marks as he's going. Guys like him are a dime a dozen!
No, he just told you he's settling for you right now. Instead trying to be something you're not for him, you need to leave and tell him to go get what he really wants. Find a guy who actually likes you and sees you as his type.
You're a placeholder right now. This is a big glaring sign in You're face and you're choosing to ignore it. The second he told me that I would of told him goodbye. I'm reading some of the answers from the men who aren't being straight up honest with you cause some of then want women to put up with being a placeholder cause it benefits them. The second he breaks up with or cheats when he finds his type, they aren't going to blame him, they will blame you for sticking around. Don't let a man tell you straight to your face you're not really what he wants and stay.. wake up and leave him now!
I gave the same advice. What he said was extremely insulting.
But I got a bad feeling she was attractive to him because he was an asshole to begin with.
I agree
@anon1903 not saying she deserves to be treated like that but I wonder how many nice guys she ignored/passed up until this asshole came along? He got rewarded for his shitty behavior by being her first too. She’s likely enabling him.
It would be a no brainer to walk away for almost anyone else. You don’t realize how aggravating and depressing it is for all the other decent men out there to witness this masochistic backward behavior.
@RangerBlue22 some women IGNORE the nice guys. Don't fucking assume things about her like she's your classmate or something.
@anon1903 i was trying to walk the line on this. Never said the emotional abuse is justified. Not for a second.
But I have seen this scenario play out time and time again. Its just how some women get a twisted adrenaline rush when an asshole validates her insecurities. It’s so fucking backward. That may or may not be her situation (and I hope it isn’t) but it’s all too common.
Anyway I have never in my life said something that nasty to a woman I was dating. Even if she insulted me first (and I’ve taken some very deep insults from women over my life). Even if I was frustrated with her personality. Not even the young and dumb me would of said something that horrible. At best he wants her to break up with him and she should oblige. At worst he assumes she gets some sort of twisted masochistic pleasure being treated that way. She needs to respect herself and walk.
@RangerBlue22 she should definitely leave this douche. That's what I'd tell her.
@anon1903 and I 100% agree. But the fact she’s seems hesitant about it is deeply troubling.
@RangerBlue22 yes honey, the thing is women aren't masochistic, they just suck at self preservation techniques. Society has programmed us to seek validation for EVERYTHING, and this backfires sometimes.
@anon1903 to a limited extent men find bitchy women temporarily intriguing. But we won’t tolerate it forever. I know I don’t. Never have either.
But I just remember a girl I was friends with in college first saying “what the hell is wrong with these other girls who chase asshole men” and momentarily I believed she was an exception to the rule.
Then shortly later she got a new boyfriend and she told me “I feel nervous around him and he will probably cheat on me. But I have feelings though.”
It was just really depressing to hear that.
@RangerBlue22 our self preservation techniques aren't that bad, man. I don't know what kind of girls you've been finding.
@RangerBlue22 I know plenty of girls from college who are dating jerks because they're mean girls themselves
@anon1903 yeah I do not doubt that. I really am not trying to be so cynical but I just have seen so much bs over the years.
That girl I was talking about was a very attractive 19 year old virgin when I met her (I was 21 at the time). She had a short lived crush on me. I had an opportunity to do the honors but I stopped because I thought she deserved better than losing it in a dingy dorm room. I told her that and she thought that was very sweet.
Well she lost it a month later to the guy she complained about above. She would never STFU about him either. The friéndzone concept didn’t have a name back then.
Anyway if women want to date assholes be my guest. Attraction isn’t a choice. However what I DO have a problem with is when they date and STAY with abusive men. They screwed over and then want to complain to the world about it when it was their choice to begin with. They are NOT victims. They made a choice to date that, sleep with that and keep taking abuse from that. They could of walked away but didn’t. That I don’t feel sorry for. No.
@RangerBlue22 I'd never date, or sleep with, an asshole.
@anon1903 and thats you.
@RangerBlue22 okay
Opinion
34Opinion
Sometimes, you get an easy question :)
Red Flag #1
"he said that he wants to experiment and experience different stuff."
You're his petri dish, his social/sexual experiment. He's trying you on to see how you fit because you're "different" from the kind of girl he knows he likes. How does THAT sit with you?
Red Flag #2
Is he serious about me? - IF he were serious, he'd never call you his "experiment".
Red Flag #3
i am confused because he said he wants more than casual - You're not confused, you're rationalizing and denying. You're denying his actions and because you "want" to believe his words.
"Should I try and be the type of girl he likes?" You should just BE the girl you ARE. Being a confident person is a great trait. If you're not, then you should develop that for your OWN self because you'll need it, not because he thinks it's sexy.
This guy doesn't sound like much of a catch.
is it odd to ask him if he is serious about me or not? it has been only 6 months since we started dating and this is my first relationship
It's not "odd", but... if he's your age range (22-25), it's not likely he's thinking too far into the future. I'm not saying it can't happen, but I suspect if you were to ask that question you won't get much of an answer. Go ahead and try. Maybe say "how serious about us are you?"
at what age do guys usually think about getting serious
The median age for marriage in the USA, for males, is 30.4 as of 2021. That's the median, so it's the most common age. I can't speak for all guys, but I can tell you the data.
Cuz your boyfriend is manipulative and putting that over your head to make you feel not that important to him , you should probably reconsider that relationship, when a partner can belittle or criticize their partner that is a sure sign that they are the piece of shit , it’s a narcissist trait basically manipulative tactic that pieces of shit use when they only like the convenience of someone , The reason he is still with you is because you are convenient to him , He will probably string you along until someone better in his mind comes in the picture , so do yourself a favor and kick his ass to the curb and don’t tolerate manipulative abuse from someone , when someone loves you and adores you they compliment you and are happy to be with you , when someone just likes the convenience of you all they care about is themselves , they are a selfish piece of shit that doesn’t deserve someone like you
Respect yourself and walk away from that bullshit. He’s using you and isn’t afraid to flat out admit it which means he respects you even less. What a piece of a shit.
However someone else tells me he is likely an all around asshole and that itself sadly made him more attractive to you. Not saying you deserve that emotional abuse but I got a feeling the writing was already on the wall earlier. But this makes him a “challenge” to you.
If that above happens to be true and you don’t dump him by the end of the week then you will lose my sympathy tbh. I hate seeing this bullshit. Most men would never say something like that insulting even if they are thinking it.
I don’t see a happy bright holly jolly future with this trashy boyfriend you have sorry
He clearly told you you are not his type ! If he finds someone who’s his type he is going to most likely break up with you
And don’t listen to idiots here telling you how you should change ! How can you change yourself for a dickhead. Or another comment saying if you lost virginity to him then well stay with him etc. Ok no one in this matrix cares about your virginity anymore if you are confused lost distracted no sure …..
who gives a shit about virginity get out if there he isn’t the one
Don’t waist your precious time
Your boyfriend isn't much unlike me in taste about women. Like I did (I am over 40), by numerous experiences, he will learn that the kind of straight expression and talk he hopes to get from women in romance is totally against what woman nature makes women do in romance.
Women can be straight-talking with everyone and in every context, except with the men they are in romance with, or married to.
Though luck, but hating it won't change it. Man-woman romance is, by dictates of nature itself, a battleground, and not a place to hug and cheer. Like in all battle scenarios, openness of mind and frankness of speech aren't featured there.
Let’s be honest. This isn’t a good start for the relationship when he flat out tells you he’s not your type. It sounds like he’s just dating you because he’s bored and hasn’t broken up with you because he hasn’t found anyone else to go to after you. If you’re having doubts about the relationship, you should break up with him. At least then you can see if he’s serious and wants to be with you. If he just lets you go without a fight then he really wasn’t interested in the first place but if he begs you to stay and shares his feelings for you, then you may be his type after all.
Don't have to be someones type to like them. If people only went by a strict type it would be a very narrow dating pool.
Longs if there no major issues in personality differences it don't really matter about type.
Though his answer here don't bring much confidence if he's talking about it been casual. (Pun not intended.)
Well, perhaps he likes more than one thing, hm? Or rather he’s pushing outside of his boundaries of what he’s comfortable with to try something new.
I thought I had a certain type before, only to date someone outside of that and then find out that I also like this other thing. I mean, it happened when I dated a man and it lasted longer than any of my other relationships have-
So you’re an experiment to him? Yea Id have been done with the relationship then and there. Ill be honest that my girlfriend isn’t my perfect type. But I stay because she has a lot of Amazing qualities and we love each other. My mind set is we could spend forever chasing perfection. Or we could chase actual attainable attributes ( love, loyalty, trust, honesty, etc) first and with a bit of luck maybe the rest will follow.
Boys don't usually know what they really want... hell, girls are like that, too! Don't think too much about that part. But, if he isn't expressing that he wants to be seriously pursuing you, then believe it... he's not lying. Have fun in the relationship and just enjoy yourselves, but don't expect it to be anything lasting.
Guys don't know what they want? LMAO!!! You can't be serious...
@YourFavoriteFriend Very serious... but I also state that girl are the same. You go through life making many little errors and you hopefully learn from them. Many boys in school would go after the popular or hot girls because that what many believe they should desire at that age. It's like that in many facets of life. There are many expressions that state this reality "You don't what you had until it's gone" and others.
They guys in school (in school, keep that in mind for later) will go for the "hot girls" but they are honest and know what they want. They are not shamed to say that they like sex. The majority of girls on the other hand are NOT honest and some of them even admit that they don't know what they want. And of course, school isn't even a real example as the majority of guys do change and get their likes straight while the majority of girls don't. Speaking with guys that date in their 30s or even 40s would give you an idea. Of course I'm not saying that there aren't also guys who don't know what they want or play games but they are much much less. I wish I was wrong but unfortunately, I'm not.
So yeah, unless we live in a different dimension, I don't agree with your statement. But I guess it doesn't matter if I agree or not in the end.
@YourFavoriteFriend qell obviously if guys are going after women their not that interested in.
@BlueScorpio How is it possible? How can anyone go after someone they are not interested in?
@YourFavoriteFriend It's like you never went to school. Guys try to go for conquest all the time, or do a "pig party" or other variation of it. I have met so many narcissists out there any so many that will get a girl to just have until they find someone to trade-up to. If you need a basic understanding, watch She's All That. Funny 90's premise, but actually very relatable to the way I've witnessed guys being like.
That's fucking terrible. I'm sorry you had this experience and that people like these guys exist. Some times I forget that I was lucky to be born in the place I was.
trying to be someone you are not never works.
Sadly, I think he is with you until he finds someone else, that way he is not alone.
I think it is time to set him free and find someone that likes you for exactly who you are.
You dont wanna do that what a shitty thing to say you might just need to tell him to kick rocks there are plenty of dudes your type
No. This is his way of saying, "I'll have sex with you till something else comes along." No reason to stay with someone who openly rejected you like that.
Well. From on point, he must just accepting the fact that he cannot find a girl the way he wants her and just settling down. At the same time, do you want to be with someone who feels like settling down even if he's going to take you serious?
He trying to mind fuck you dump him he's a lover and don't ever try to be somebody's type cause all you can be is yourself so if they don't except you for who you are then fuck em cause their not worth it
Nothing confusing about it. He doesn't feel the same way as you, and probably uses you for sex. So you do not want that, leave him. Pretty simple
He doesn’t sound serious, does he? Hope you’re having fun at least. While it lasts.
Dump him and find another man better
One that want to be with you.
Life to short to be with someone like that!!!
The question is why are you dating him.
He continues to date you so he has sex on tap.
i think he likes me despite me not being his type and i want this to work because this is my first relationship
Yeah he's not taking you seriously... And he's definitely not in it for your personality.. by his own words
what should I do? this is my first relationship and i really want this to work
Ouch.. This is your first relationship and he tells you that.. This is probably why he had the audacity to flat out say it... I think it's obvious by now he's just using you 🤷♂️..
He doesn't sound serious about you if he's literally telling you you're not his type.
NO! Be your own person. He needs to find the type that he wants and you need to move on.
No, you should dump him and date a man who thinks you are his type.
Yeah that’s crazy. Move on. Let him find his type
He's with you because he sees potential in you.
He may or may not stay or may find someone else. I don't trust this guy. Neither should u, cookie.
End it now. Like, others are saying you’re just an experiment to him. He doesn’t actually want to be with you.
Oooh, that is not good. It sounds like he is using you. This is a casual approach
I say dump his sorry ass.
but i really like him and he said he likes me too
He's just using you till something better comes along.
is it not possible for this to work out this is my first relationship
You can always try, but it doesn't seem likely.
but i really want this to work and he hasn't dated anyone for 5 years
Like I said, you can always try.
ok. Thank you
You're welcome. :)
Walk away and when he asks why then reply with "your not my type"
m do not pretend, ever
No, leave him. He’s using you and will replace you with his type when he gets the chance.
Maybe there’s something about you he hasn’t told you about that’s drawing him to you.
You be you, do not change for them, he should like you for you
don't change yourself for anyone. dump him he's clearly a sociopath showing major red flags
I’d leave, you’re wasting your time..,
Dump him, you aren't compatible.
how tell if two people are compatible
You have the same lifestyle, goals, interests and hobbies, you both find eachother sexually attractive, you have the same beliefs and opinions, and you both have the same or complimentary personalities.
You should find a new boyfriend
Be your self and try to get a new boyfriend.
What an asshole
It's time to move on.
Yes you should listen to your boyfriend
No. Move on
leave
Dump him
But u are not !!!
Dump him
🤣🤣🤣
You can also add your opinion below!
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
