So here's the deal and sorry for any typos I'm using text to speech. I'm getting ready to turn 35 on December 26th she's getting ready to turn 41 on January 15th we dated for 2 months which originally started with her approaching me publicly on Facebook saying and I quote I only kept my distance because I thought you weren't looking for anything serious. We dated for a couple months then we broke up that was 4 months ago. She began to tell me over all these months all the horrible things her ex did to her and how she just came out of the worst break up of her life after over 7 years in March of 2021. She already had her Rebound in September in October of 2021. And I'm the first guy since. She's back and forth one second She's kissing on me hugging on me talking about we might be having sex or whatever. The next minute she's calling me BFF and best friend. One minute she says I love you you're my whole world and all I have is you my parents and my pets. The next minute it's love ya. She will start to push things forward and like it's looking like a relationship and then she will quickly back off and revert back to the friend zone. She's been through some horrible things in relationships very bad emotionally and mentally abusive things. She's very damaged. She also has a ton of health problems. I've been supportive of all of these last 6 months and because she's on methadone maintenance she's been clean 6 years by the way all she is only on maintenance. Her libido is dropped and she almost never want sex because of it as a side effect to the methadone. She works I help her work she works for herself. This past weekend she kissed me in the middle of Kroger and it was a big Kroger had to be at least 150 people just in the deli and produce section. On the lips she kissed me and she held the kiss. She said it was Instinct that made her do it. I feel like she loves me but I'm asking you ladies am I wasted my time with this girl? She said she wants to take it slow. Help!
Hey Girls, im Getting mix signals from a emotionally destroyed female. I need to know whats going on?
Updates
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To add more detail cuz I couldn't fit it all in the original. We haven't had sex since the first day we met there hasn't been anything since 6 months ago. It's a constant hot and cold. We see each other every single weekend and spend every single weekend at her house. We cuddle give forehead kisses watch movies she smokes me out cuz we both are 420 friendly she makes me play to food she washes my clothes she does everything a wife or girlfriend does. But she can't seem to open up.
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I'm severely emotionally invested in madly in love with this woman. My worst fear is that she's going to decide she wants to date somebody else or sleep with somebody else that isn't me. She's not talking to anybody else she's even shown me her text message history and does regularly. I'm just very scared that I'm going to get my heart broken because a couple months before she broke up with her ex I suffered the worst break up of my life also. I love this girl in my soul
What Girls Said
Yes, you are wasting your time with this lady and no, you don't love this girl in your soul.
Those words of yours are conflicting because if you did love her with all your soul, you would not ask whether you are wasting your time with her.
There are a couple of words that make my hair stand up and those are "methadone", "rebound", "friendzone" and "damaged".
These 4 words are the ones nobody wants to hear if you are interested in a person. Those are red flags and total no go. Those are words that should make you run away.
From your account, I see that she is hanging onto you because you seem to give her what she needs most and that is someone that is ready to listen to her. Also, she is fully aware that at age 41, her prime time is way beyond her and that with her life story and addiction, she is not likely going to find anyone that will put up with her past. Her clock is ticking away and you gave her the attention she wanted.
Now, I respect you for doing what you are doing but I do believe that you are investing in someone that is damaged beyond repair and that sooner or later, you will pay such a high price that you will have to make the decision to leave her. Perhaps not today or tomorrow but in 2 or 3 years and then what?
She will fall from even higher because you let her down. For a lot of people, this would be more than they can handle.
The most reasonable option is to distance yourself from her because you will not be able to handle her problems for a long time. Guaranteed. Good luck.
You are investing too much of your time on this woman. It's time to move on, for your own sake.
She just admitted today that she has sum feelings for me that they are developing. It happened during the what are we talk.
We are both shook from it and being very sweet to eachother now. She said a month or so ago if she started getting feelings she wouldn't fight it.
We are both hurt from the argument but we reached common ground.
We reached understanding.
We both have clarity now.
I'm just gonna let her lead and enjoy the ride. Have a merry Christmas