Girl I slept with got attached. What would be better?

[Danny_dan92]

Both of these situations I know would hurt her.


“Tell her why I will not spend time/sleep with her again.”


Or


“Ghost her”


I don't know which one to do cause at the end of the day I don’t wanna hurt her, but what’s done is done.

Updates

+1 y

I ended up not needing to explain at all or do anything for we ended up talking about other things and she ended up leaving me on read 👍🏼 problem solved

[Guy13]

You’ve Recon and area, found a young survivor, and a dead person she’s hugging.
Do you confirm that’s the loved one she will never see again or do you hand her off to First Aid with “mom is dead” only for her to find out later as she is crying for mom. 👻
OR do you any obligation to hold and acknowledge death of mom.

[Screenwriter]

Be straight. Ghosting is mean and chickenshit. Tell her why, then cut everything off. No phone calls, you block her phone and all media.

Friends with benefits usually only benefits one party. It's difficult to JUST have sex if you like the person you're having sex with and they aren't a paid prostitute. Even in THOSE cases, one or the other party thinks its love.

[Danny_dan92]

Well in a way it was taken care of on her end. We talked a little bit more and she left me on read so it works out. Although I believe she did cause I ignored one of her questions lol

Me apparently doing so much nice actions for her that no men have done to her previously, also made her more attached to me. But I suppose she confused my lack of desire to continue talking/seeing each other. For me being sketchy

[Screenwriter]

I'm glad it seems to be case closed in a decent way... Don't ghost. Be brave and responsible. !!!

[Little_Bumblebee]

Just tell her something along the lines of, "Last night (or whenever it was) was great, fun, or whatever. But I'm not looking for anything serious, or I don't feel the necessary chemistry to move this along"

Be honest, and respectful. You don't need to go in depth as to why you're not into her.

[Danny_dan92]

It’s already been taken care of.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Ah okay, dodged a bullet there anyway then

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah definitely

[OlderAndWiser]

Did you have a discussion about expectations before you got sexual?

[jennifer_bloom]

Tell her you are not interested and why, it’s better than avoiding her.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

Just tell her something like: “It was a really fun time we had but I cannot continue with this connection, as it was just a sex thing. You’re really cool I hope you find someone that fits your needs.”

[acooke-13]

Tell her you're not interested, trust me, it's so much better then being ghosted. Being ghosted feels like they shouted "FUCK OFF" at you..

[ShadezMcgee]

Be honest and just tell her upfront, man. Ghosting is both shitty and cowardly even if it may be simpler to do. The least someone can do is be forthcoming with how they are feeling.

[RealMarek]

How about not ghosting but keeping it simple: “I like you but I don’t think we would make a good couple.” No need to explain the specific reasons.

[NathanDavis]

be honest, like a man would...

if you feel you do not want to man-up... then just don't be dishonest and ghost her

[RavVid]

Ghosting her is cowardly. So is it her getting attached the #1 problem?

[RavVid]

Glad it self resolved.

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah I feel it was a combined effort she took it well

[ZenJen444]

It's not your problem. I'd just ghost her. Women have to be real with themselves and stop assuming just because they have sex with a man he will automatically want to be with them.

[Danny_dan92]

I mean the exchange was mutual. She wanted dick I wanted pussy. But what didn’t help is she got attached afterwards where as the opposite happened for me personally. Don’t get me wrong the sex was great, again we both thought the same. But she wanted to lock me down and I didn’t want too for two main reasons.

[ZenJen444]

1. What were the two reasons? 2. Having sex will not keep a man. A man has to want to be kept. Did you tell her from the start you didn't want a relationship or did she just assume you wanted one?

[Danny_dan92]

So this is where it’s a slippery slope.

I did not know she smokes cigarettes until after the first time we had sex. That’s a turn off for me.

Then later she literally got mad when she saw that I had pending dm’s, texts and tinder matches meanwhile she’s talking to her ex…

So that did it for me. I made the impression that I wanted to date… but after those two things I was done

[ZenJen444]

🤣🤣🤣 I would just tell her then. Smoking is a turn off for me too and still having an ex in the picture? like wtf move on that shit is toxic af

[Danny_dan92]

Yyyyyep. Exactly. It’s a no go

[ZenJen444]

Even if you tell her tho she may beg you to stay and say she will quit for you 🤣😭. So I don't know what are you gonna do?

[Danny_dan92]

Naaah lol you realize how hard it is to quit? She’s apparently been smoking since she was 13 and she’s 29

I vaped for 4 months and have been feening for a puff

[ZenJen444]

Vaping is different though. Most military men vape or hookah. Smoking just seems so manly for a woman. Does she smoke weed or cigarettes? Either way turn off. It just depends what you wanna do cause if you cut her off you get no more free sex

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah true lol it was one of my buddies in my unit that got me into vaping too.

She told me she smokes cigarettes, and I could kind of smell it too at times. Gross af tbh.

I guess 😂 but it’s all good. I’m used to not being sexually active anyways.

[ZenJen444]

Yeah my ex well all my exes are military. They all vaped and did hookah. That doesn't bother me but cigarettes 🤮. And she's a woman. Omg does she smell and taste like cigarettes too?

[Danny_dan92]

Hookah is gross but vaping is ok…

You’re not helping me with quitting I’m about to go buy some lmfao

So it’s weird, I could sometimes smell it when she talked but when we kissed I didn’t taste it. I don't know.

I smelled it more the following morning when she was cuddled up next to me

[ZenJen444]

Ahahaha, vaping is cool tho..

Yeah that's nasty I'd let her go to. Who are your other options on tinder? Are they better?

[Danny_dan92]

No it ain’t. Lol you’re trynna influence me to go smoke again.

That’s the thing I “have options” but I don’t. Most girls that talk to me are either too afraid to try things with me or they find another guy they like more and bam. Just like that I become irrelevant

[ZenJen444]

Then just stick to the smoker chick🤣

[Danny_dan92]

That just isn’t ideal for me tho 💀

[hIopinionated_]

I hope you told her you weren’t interested in her before possibly using her for sex

[NewYorkCity]

Man Up, be honest and deal with a situation that You have created.

[AimeeKyle]

It’s always better to communicate / help to provide closure.. You don’t necessarily have to be harsh about it though either.

[kinggeorge007]

Tell her. I know it's hard but trust me it hurts less.

[Anonymous]

Don’t be a jerk. At least spend some time with her and let her down easy

[Danny_dan92]

Yes but knowing how this works the more time I spend with her the more she thinks something would develop from spending time together. Which leads her on more and ultimately wastes her time much more than if I just cut contact now

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, that’s fair.
Maybe just find a way to let her down easily without hurting her. be creative

[Danny_dan92]

If she double texts me I’ll just have to explain why at that point.

[Opinion Owner]

Good luck

[Stevefiveo]

Be a man and tell her.

[LimitedBenefits101]

Ghost her.

[Matmazeldiana]

Anlamadım

[Danny_dan92]

English

[Matmazeldiana]

Ben türküm

[Danny_dan92]

Cool. This isn’t helpful

[Matmazeldiana]

Neden

[Danny_dan92]

Blee blah

[Matmazeldiana]

Keşke İngilizce bilseydim😔