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i pay hundreds of money to make up and creams, even getting my hair and nails done costs me more than the date itself. While men only brush their teeth (if you are lucky) and show up to dates. So its their job to pay on dates.
For the most part, it's the person who does the asking who pays for the date.
If he asks you out, it just seems logical that he intends to pay for wherever he chooses to take you.
But that should also be true if you ask HIM out. You should be prepared to pay unless he absolutely insists on picking up the tab.
If you are dating regularly, it's not fair to expect him to pay for everything all the time. You should at least offer to treat him at times. Or maybe he could pay for the burgers and drinks and you pay for the movie.
For you to pay, or at least offer to pay at times, demonstrates character. It shows that you are self sufficient, dignified, and don't need to leach. It also shows that you want to be with him, even if it sometimes means giving him gifts (paying for dates). It means that you want to be a partner, not just a piece of ass. It shows potential loyalty and trust.
I like women who enjoy being treated like ladies. As a gentleman, I enjoy treating her like a lady and paying for dates. I don't even think about the cost because it's benefiting me. I'm having fun, eating good food and enjoying the company of a lovely lady. But it IS impressive when a woman pays sometimes, as if it's no big deal, after we have been on a few dates.
I think it's creepy for men to expect sex for the price of a meal and to feel ripped off if they don't get it. Those guys treat women like prostitutes.
Women who think men should pay them just because they provide sex are no better. They might be good for hookups but not for relationships. They think their bodies entitle them to freebies. They degrade themselves in thinking that providing sex is their only value.
The way I see it, both men and women benefit equally from sex. I want to date women who like sex as much as do I and are sexually attracted to me. Why would I want to pay her for it?
In fact, aside from sex, she should enjoy being with me, going places and doing things together as much as I like being with her. I love mutual infatuation. The idea that she is with me for free entertainment makes here a mere courtesan who would go with the highest bidder.
So, while I understand and appreciate the money, time and effort that women put into looking as pretty as possible, and I agree that gentlemen usually pay for dates, it's not absolute. It's classy for a girl to pay sometimes.
I will add that guys who stipulate that they want separate checks have issues, a low opinion of women, and would make terrible partners. And I don't like women who insist on paying for themselves as a way of demonstrating their feminist independence.
I get where u com from but, u don't usually use a whole tube/pallete of makeup on 1 face. Thats more time and skill than money. Like he don't use a whole tube of toothpaste and wear down the brush in one toothbrushing. N ur nails dont fall off after the hour or two date. I understand if u like rent a nice outfit and pay to have ur hair styled, like prom or sum, and he just shows up then ya. It's fair if u expect him to pay so u don't have to spend even more money.
But if it's things u do most days anyway like style ur own hair, put on your own makeup, etc. That may cost u a lotta time, but relative little of ur supplies. Like his toothpaste. He may have like super high quality prescription toothpaste cuz he got fucked up teeth. But he only use a little bit for the date so, u shouldn't have to pay jus bc of that. N ofc some men do a lot more than that 4 dates n some women do less but, still. Same principle.
If u say up front and he's cool w it whatever, it's ur standard don't compromise if u don't think it's fair. I don't think the standard for everybody else should be the same as this tho bc everybody preps different, n not everybody even factors that in to date price. Some it's just a matter of pride or generosity n "fairness" don't mean shit.
Guys I have dated so far almost always all of them pay but I can say 95% of the time they go straight to pay don’t even let me the chance to take out my card or look at me as if “ are you paying?” I’m 30 I think once I entered 27 I started attracted this kind of men. But there is a reason why.. they are 5 to 7 years older than I am. Already mature already over random sex over having basic salary and they also chose well who to pay for too!! If you are a good lady etc high caliber men notice this too so keep investing on yourself like paying for cream and hair !!
On my early 20s I have had dates that I always paid because those guys back then were also same age as me lost within life.. so I couldn’t ask a 24 years old men to pay for everything that’s brutal.
You have to give it time , but it has to do with age and how you select your dates.
I also like it when a men pays on dates but not always as in always like infinite… but most of the time yeah it shows they are gentlemen but for that you have to pick the right men for you. You can’t expect let’s say a men who makes low salary pay for everything that’s too harsh and miserable that men can’t afford you. Picky is what you are which is ok but you have to be patient and keep looking.
At 30 I have finally found a men how I WANT and DREAMED. It took a while I know but it’s worth it. He is 37 makes 300k per year but guess what I’m researcher too I make good money too I simply wanted this certain caliber men so when we have
our family kids have a great dad because I already TESTED their dad lol end result is that he is a gentlemen… he shows that by paying for all of our dates. And no he didn’t get a kiss until 3 months later so he didn’t use me.
Don’t fall for comments like have sex with him after he pays etc those guys are already broke MENTALLY.
Congratulations you want to have a stable happy family in the future with a men who can provide but also make sure there is true love also.. that’s most important thing ever. I am sure you will find him
Keep going and learning from this dating error until you learn how and who to pick so give it time.
Try to travel and go to places where men you want exist.. I don’t know where you live but I live in Manhattan so it’s easy for me.(not American originally I’m European) Location matters too. Friends you make matter too.
♥️
What you decide to do for the date is for own benfit to good a good imprassion its not up to them and has nothing to do with who pays or dose not pay for the date
Overall il say it like this
Who is the date for? Are you going on the date as part of your service to please him paid by food and/or activity?
Or are you and him both partners in a bussniss trying to see if you could have a good fit eo you both benfit from it, and there for both should pay at least there part
If how ever one side decide to maybe take someone to a higher cost place, maybe they like it, or maybe they want to show off, then they should pay, as they pushed to the beyond
If uou not there for there benfit alone but also for your self you should pay your part in it, except maybe if they insist as they may want to show that one more thing they bring to the deal is money, but that is up to them, and if that is something you even want/need for it
Opinion
52Opinion
How much money you spend on makeup etc. is your personal choice. Why should that make a difference in who should pay for the date? The general rule is, whoever asks the person out pays for the date. That's often the guy, but not always. And there's nothing wrong with the girl offering to pay her share, or even pay for the entire date.
Lol, okay. Well if it's his job to pay for dates, then it's your job to give him sex whenever he says. Doesn't sound good does it? Your response to that would be "Well you're not entitled to a woman's body." And you would be right. Likewise, just how we are not entitled to a woman's body, a woman is not entitled to a man's wallet.
And for the record, you're disregarding the fact that the man had to plan the date out, manage his budget, make sure everything was set in place, AND make sure he looks nice. So we don't just "show up and brush our teeth" okay. And like I said earlier, we could go out and complain that we budgeted our finances and spent hours trying to find the right place at the right time, tried to plan everything out, look nice and still not get any sex, but that would make us seem entitled when you ladies hear it. So how do you think it makes us guys feel when women say that they bought a whole bunch of make up, did their hair and nail only for the guy not to pay for their meal?
Of course that is false because always means there are zero exceptions. Therefore, the title should be "Men should USUALLY pay on dates." The following is an exception. When I'm older, if I invite a guy over for dinner. I will go to the grocery story and purchase the items I cook for dinner. Therefore, my date doesn't and shouldn't pay. In fact it would be extremely awkward for me to suggest that my date reimburse me for the cost of groceries I purchased. Even more so because I would have only used a portion of the groceries. For example, I would have purchased a pound of salt but only used a half teaspoon; let alone the dishes and the water, gas, electricity used.
Most men aren’t shallow and wouldn’t want to go out with a high maintenance woman who ends up looking more like corpse at an open casket funeral than pleasant eye candy.
It’s 2023, not 1960. Some men insist on paying, but it’s perfectly ok to go Dutch, split the check, take turns or for the woman to pay.
No one's telling you to spend hundreds on hairdos, makeup and nails. That is YOUR choice to, frankly, overdo it for a date whose outcome is tenuous.
If you choose to have casual dates where you don''t have to dress up, you won't have to spend more than a cup of coffee to sit and chat with a fellow to see where the conversation goes.
I am of the ilk that it's Dutch when casually dating. Pay your own way and make your own exit. Then there's no hard feelings, and no one's been taken advantage of either way.
You don't have to put yourself out and neither does he. If it's a failure, you both had a nice cup of coffee or tea. If it's a go, then you're both glad you came and no one's out an arm and a leg either way.
Keep it casual and low-key. It takes months to know someone fairly well. Save the fancy, makeup events for boyfriend/girlfriend time. And be responsible for yourself.
I don't think it should be always. The initial date, sure, but once you start seeing each other on a regular basis, your date should be able to pitch-in, especially if it's her idea to go out.
I understand where you are coming from with all the beauty products but I know myself, I often contribute to those things throughout the year once I am in a relationship and not just birthdays and holidays. Either that or I offer to take her on vacations and outings that somewhat balances the books over the year.
While I like that men pay on dates as I’m old fashioned that way and love a gentlemen it doesn’t mean I would never offer to split the bill. I don’t necessarily agree with your logic of the “creams, hair, and nails”. It’s your choice to have all that stuff so why should he have to pay for your decisions. I’ve know many girls who just show up to dates with no makeup on or manicures and who just make themselves look decent. While I understand that you want to have all that stuff and it’s your choice this doesn’t apply to everyone. Also it’s not a requirement to do all that you do to get ready for a date. To add on you probably don’t know most of the time how the man is doing financially during the date.
But let be real. You would pay the money for any guy that´s coming along. You don´t buy the make up just for this guy you go on a date with. Like you use the same makeup probably for business meetings, for meetings with other guys or friends. So you paying for makeup and doing your hair is no date specific investment because you would do that anyways even if you went alone out with no guy.
I don´t think it´s a guy´s job to pay for the meal especially if he didn´t choose the location. He should be ready to pay but the times where guys paid for everything without a question are kind of over. It´s a guy decision if he wants or not.
As much women don´t want to be reduced on their looks guys don´t want to be reduced on their financial abilities. I can pay but I don´t like it if she takes it for granted and shows no appreciation afterwards.
Men should pay, especially if you want a traditional woman, but men should know how to tell the difference between a woman worth paying for, and a woman worth going Dutch with. Ideally, a man should know what kind of woman he is dealing with prior to the date. That way he doesn't end up with the kind of girl that's just there for free food. Also, if you're unsure of what kind of woman you're dealing with, but you're still intrigued, it's better to invite her out for coffee during a lunch break for example. If she really wants to spend time with you, and she isn't broke, she will agree to it. It's worth mentioning that women worth the investment have a different vibe. They almost always can pay, and will offer to pay, but as a man, you pay when you see those green flags. Good luck.
That’s your choice though I’m not the one making you pay all that. Your making the conscious choice to pay all that money.
I don’t mind paying for dates if/when I ask a girl out but I’m not gonna date a girl who’s mindset is that I should always pay for everything all the time. That just screams entitlement to me.
Also your own logic can be turned around you. For instance acquiring and maintaining a good physique. You have any idea how much that costs? Because I do and it’s not cheap.
Back in the day - - - - - guys' treat. Period.
Now, I would say whoever asks, pays, at least in the beginning. If the relationship is to mature, then so should the handling of finances between the two IN the relationship.
(if they are to get married and set up a household) they will have to share responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, painting, gardening, ad nauseam. If they can't come to an amicable agreement of who will pay for the burgers on a darn date (split/alternate/whatever), heaven help they stay together and have to deal with BIG things like cars, kids and homes!
Nobody forces you to act like a hollywood movie star for something as basic as a date with a guy who might not even bother to brush his teeth that day.
What is the point of spending that money and effort?
Impressing a guy? Lmfao
Depends. All that money you spend on materialistic things is your choice not his. Besides it’s 2023 what about equality? If you want to be traditional that means you should be a virgin. Get married, stay home, have kids, take care of the your man, etc. But I’m guessing that’s not what you want. So you can’t expect him to be traditional if you’re not willing to be the same. Playing this game by your rules when it suites you. Besides, sure your make up, creams, etc, may add up but how much does he end up paying after 4-6 dates. Let’s say $100 a date, that’s $400-600 on dates. Besides I’m sure you don’t use all your makeup for one date, so it’s not like you have to purchase those things every date. I think whoever ask should pay. She could even offer to pay for dessert, unless she is dessert than I’m ok w that.
I believe in paying for my dates because I'm the one who asks the girl out. However, your reasoning is significantly flawed. As AviatorTom said, what you spend on make-up and manicures is your own business, and who do you do it for anyway? You do it for yourself, and you'd do it even if there were no men in your life.
Not only that, what about girls who don't wear make-up, or much of it, and have natural nails and don't spend $60 on acrylics or plastic? Your reasoning wouldn't apply to them, and rightfully so, as it shouldn't apply to you. Should men take into account your clothing, shoes, and spa expenses too? Should the amount the man spends on the date be proportionate to what you spent pampering and primping? I think not.
Lol, you don't need to spend that much on hair and nails. I am not a monk or anything but most girls look decent with minimal make up and plain clothes. YYou can buy generic brands. Stop using polyester and nylon fabric. They smell so bad.
And may be you are write but I am always formally dressed to occasions and I am into personal hygiene quite a lot :).
Having said it all, I actually dislike girls paying for dates. I got into verbal fight with this feminazi over this. I just like it when a girl dresses up nice and I take care of her food and stuff.
P. S: this doesn't mean you become a gold digger lol
Yeah but your nails and hair and cream and make up last a fairly long time. So we'll need to amortize the cost of that. He can pay that equivalent and you pick up the rest. Also, he had to get his shoes shined and put gas in the car and tip the valet so your share will have to go up.
My question for you is this: if you're approaching dating in this sort of transactional manner, are you going to approach the rest of life or marriage like that?
Men used to pay because women had no money, and no ability to get money. Therefore if the guy didn't pay, the date couldn't happen. Now girls make money, now girls can find a way to make money. The dynamic has changed. If you don't work, you live with your parents, and your parents will pay me to marry you, then I'll pay for all our dates. I need a dowry though. Also, you'll be unable to work when we're married, and the only money you'll get is the money I think you need to provide what I want. Does that sound good to you? That's how it was when men paid for the dates 100% of the time.
If you ask to go on the date you should pay, cost of living and everything is shit hell dating is hard with all the gold diggers and just how dating pools are still you’re a woman you have rights you want equality then why’s a man gotta pay? Are you to broke? You not exercising your rights to get a job? Why does he have to provide if you’re providing nothing? He doesn’t so be humble if his ass is paying and maybe next time pay for him something nice or earn that steak and lobster you probably gonna order otherwise sit tf down thank you.
Lol the details are funny. I think initially they should be paying, but dont expect it either. Definitely not always though.
My boyfriend is rich and im broke, but i always give back whenever i can. I treat him when i get paid, i save money for gifts (so that it would cost the same as he got for me), and on trips i offer to split it (again, after i save for it lol).
Its not fair for guys, or anybody, to always just give but not get anything in return. Mine might not be as much as he gives, but i try and he knows that.
No one is asking you to spend a shit ton on makeup and other things that guys don't care about and you aren't owed someone to cover you because of that.
Are men that treat women nicely owed a date, just because they're nice, because there's guy that complain about that too.
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