Would men that struggle with attracting & dating women be more successful if they were just born earlier before social media existed?

[Anonymous]

[Rosexøxø]

I think it would be helpful for everyone if it was before social media.

Actually the 20’s - 40’s was the best time for socializing.

Everyone worked hard, wanted to live it up, and people in certain crowds weren’t.. I don't know, “too” judgmental.

Was easy to lend a a friend a date/ double date. Easy to get to “third base.”

Everyone back then was pretty basic looking, so standards weren’t unrealistic, in a natural sense.

Guys and girls were fond and curious of each other.

ARE ANY OF YOU CURIOUS TODAY?

NONE OF YA 🤣😂

Needless to say, the gender wars make me sick.. hopefully it doesn’t go on as long as the 100 year wars, or so.

It wasn’t perfect back then, but people also did try and put efforts into their social circles back then.

In today’s day, not a lot of effort is given or readily available.

People think they “know” other people based on stereotypes. Some of those types true, and a lot are not.

Lot of generalizations made and to be fair, a lot of people DO follow the crowds in general. So those not all of those people who generalize can be put to blame.

It’s not impossible in today’s era. It’s just gonna take effort. If people are willing to put in the efforts and get new perspectives, then things can turn out for THEM personally.

[jennifer_bloom]

I know unattractive guys that dated hundreds of girls they met online without being rich. I am not sure what they put in their bio cause I did not read their profiles but if you don't have the top notch appearance, a free offer of dim sum or cake might get a girl who is willing to invest half an hour into meeting you for an introductory conversation. My cousin was very stunted in his professional work but he was charming and socially versatile and conveyed the impression of future upward mobility, and he never had issues finding girls willing to allow him a chance.

[blueonblack22]

Social media and dating apps have created lots of “cheap thrills” that’s harmful to both men and women when it comes to dating.

One thing I’ve noticed is that many women can seemingly subside on virtual attention. They get lots of likes and comments on IG when they put up suggestive pics of themselves. Many claim it’s about “confidence”. But is it really? To me it’s insecurity and the sugar high of getting the “safe” attention online but it’s not authentic or genuine. Is that really fulfilling?

Of course plenty of idiot guys enable this crap. Onlyfans is a huge step in gross “cheap thrill” direction.

I do blame men for shooting ourselves in the foot by creating both digital technology and enabling women with their bad behavior. If men collectively stopped giving women virtual attention (which will never happen) then women would give up that crap. But it’s really our fault for setting things up this way.

[Lookingforthetruth]

So vast majority of men are pathetic?

[blueonblack22]

@Lookingforthetruth following IG models you never met in person or worse subscribing to OnlyFans is very pathetic. Seriously what do you get out of it? She’s not going to date or bang you just because you liked her scandalous pics.

Wasting money on OnlyFans is 10x worse. You are spending money on porn you could watch for free thereby enabling a lazy worthless hoe. If you are going to spend money on sexual pleasure at least spend it on something you can touch (an escort).

[Lookingforthetruth]

So is that a yes?

[blueonblack22]

@Lookingforthetruth yes if you subject yourself to an exercise in futility. I put effort into things where I know I have a legit chance of getting something. Following IG models and liking their pics just swells their egos. But you have zero chance of getting that. Signing up for only fans is even worse. Much worse.

[Weapon77]

In my case, I'd be dramatically more successful in a previous era. If we go back to the time of hunter gatherers, it'd be extremely easy for me because of my athleticism and such. And most of the premodern era would be pretty easy too considering weak men weeded out by war for the most part. Even if I died in war, I likely would've had at least one child before turning 20 so no worries. But I wouldve been a commander and likely wouldn't have died in battle until maybe old age. If we go back to well after Medieval times up to 50 years ago, I still would've been better off. Even just 10 years ago was still pretty good. If I had managed to get married in like 2015, I likely wouldve been fine. But I was born the right age to deal with all this nonsense now... hurray...

[kylee2437]

No because you are still basically lacking accountability as to why you are having trouble finding people to date. Men that complain about this stuff, usually need to self improve in many aspects

[Asker]

Why should men self improve for you?

[kylee2437]

@asker where did I say self improve for me? If you are dating, you should put the best version of yourself out there. Y’all be putting out the worst versions of yourself and expecting a good outcome.

[Asker]

But you should love men for who they are. Don't women say that builshit?

[kylee2437]

@asker women aren’t obligated to love someone that doesn’t value his own self to know that putting yourself best self out there is important. Vice versa.

[Cassie88]

That's exactly what I was going to say.

[Asker]

Its a rhetorical question. That saying doesn't exist. Love exist under the conditions. It will never be unconditional

[kylee2437]

@asker why does love need to be unconditional? If I come into a relationship with expectations, bet your ass my love is conditional because I know what I deserve

[Asker]

In a way it's like a contract

[kylee2437]

Absolutely is because if I specify my expectations in the beginning, those expectations aren’t changing just because time has passed

[Asker]

That's fine. Do you watch Fresh and fit?

[Summeroflove]

I think that there is plenty of both great women and great men in the world and some…. Ehhh. Not so great

[Cassie88]

It would have made no difference, because the men who struggle with attracting women have lame personalities, are entitled, take everything too seriously and literally, don't know how to relate to others in general, and refuse to grow up.

[Asker]

How do you know what their personality is like if you haven't even gotten to actually know them?

[Cassie88]

Um... that's just it. All of these character traits would appear AFTER I got to know them.

[Asker]

But most women and men dont give people chances if they're not physically attractive first. Human nature

[Cassie88]

Now you're talking about physical attraction, which is an entirely different topic.

[Cassie88]

Look, if a guy is great to be around, funny, nice, considerate, and an all-round decent human being, being "ugly" won't be that big a deal (unless they're hideously ugly or deformed).

[Asker]

Its part of the all around package. Looks/personality. But if you're lacking in the first one, its going to be difficult to get anyone's interests

[Cassie88]

That depends. It's complicated. A whole range of factors come into play here.

[Asker]

Lets just leave it at that

[VikingWarLord]

Dude just go overseas.

Especially if you're white and American, the women overseas will flock to you especially in Eastern Europe and SE Asia. You'll live like a KING and get pussy THROWN at you. They pursue men over there, it's the exact opposite as the west. Go see for yourself.

[Cassie88]

In your dreams.

[Asker]

@Cassie88 there are men that left and actually found a wife and have kids. Its not that bad of an idea

[VikingWarLord]

@Cassie88 Look up PASSPORT BROS on Youtube.
Even old dudes on welfare are getting any type of women they want in SE Asia.

[Gummy_Cluster]

You're exactly correct on that. But you have to understand that they are throwing themselves at you because you have money, or at least they think you do. I'm not saying this to sound bitter, because I don't care. I wish you the best of luck and happiness. I know a lot about this, because two of my cousins did it. You can marry a gorgeous Thai woman and raise a family, and live happily ever after. And you don't have to be rich, but they will expect you to support them and their extended family. If you can manage that, you will be golden. The best scenario would be for you to live in their country. But the problem is how do you make money? If you have a pile of money, then go to Thailand and be a king. But if you can't afford to just retire there, then you're going to have to fly back and forth. They will be fine with you leaving, because they know you're flying back home to work and make more money. But they will expect you to send money while you're away. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I'm just telling you how it is.
And NEVER make the mistake of bringing them back to the West. If you do that, it's over. You will no longer be the king when they're surrounded by kings.

[Gummy_Cluster]

You said they like white Americans. You got half of that right. They do love white guys and their facial features. But the America part is just that they think all Americans are rich. They get that shit from the movies. Their view of America is a glamorous Hollywood fantasy.
But I recommend that you should fly over and stay for a couple of weeks. Thailand is the world's largest sauna. But you should experience it and then go from there.
And those girls you saw on YouTube, are bar girls. I'm not knocking them, but most guys on this site hate women who aren't virgins. Those babes in the YouTube videos are NOT virgins. They are farm girls from the North, that see their parents struggling to put money on the table. So they take the bus to Pattaya. Their parents don't know how they are getting the money to send to them, or maybe they just don't want to know. But that's how it works in the Land of Smiles.

[Gummy_Cluster]

Food on the table.

[catiecatie]

Honestly my friend and I were talking about something like this. We talked about how life would’ve been simpler if dating apps weren’t a thing! Like what happened to going out and actually putting in the effort with someone at the bars or a restaurant or even the mall? Plus people look at social media, how many followers you got, friends, Snapchat score, everyone looks at it differently and I don’t like it.

[GreenLanternI0I]

No. before social media, there were clubs and bars and before clubs and bars, there were social events and meetings that can be dated all the way back to B. C. years. Physical attractiveness and sex appeal never changed. The way people finding other people did, but biological desires, wants and needs never did.

[Fireguy17]

Nope.
Being older it was just as big a struggle or even harder before the internet.
I lived in the country, small town and the choices there were far and few between.
Then was where do you go to meet someone.
No, it is still hard, but the choices of where you get rejected are almost limitless with the internet.

[humanearth]

Yes, but you can over come that.

One give up social media cold Turkey

Two start walking up to women and start talking to them. The more you do it. The more comfortable you become.

These are the two biggest things holding you back

[Anonymous]

Statistically 90% of Women complete for the top 10% of Men. The same would be true if you were talking about within a community. The top 90% of Women would be competing for the top 10% within an area. The difference is now that 10% is part of the globe.

[RichieSmith]

well for one obesity wasn't such a manor problem as it is now. Obesity also is much worse among women than it is among men. Go to any gym and you will see it is 9:1 men to women working out there. Few men approach heavy set women so it really drastically limits your dating options when only 20-30% of women are of a normal body weight

[Pohjolan]

Depends on how far in history we go. Historically 2/3 of men failed to mate.

So in a way a increasing number of incels is just a return to the historical norm and a more equalised mating market due to religion or other social restraints was the anomaly.

The problem is that the ones that are successful are no longer breeding enough to compensate for it.

[slatyb]

No, they would be less successful. Online dating is a great service for shy people. I was successful dating online for a while, entering a couple of long-term relationships, then my wife contacted me on match.

[jshm2]

No. Losers are losers regardless of what time they were born.

Not everyone deserves a partner, and some men just shouldn't breed, let alone date.

[msc545]

That is a truly ugly sentiment. Perhaps you should not breed either.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I think so... that face to face interaction with a female does a whole lot more than just being a random guy trying to get a girl to even talk.

[FilmGuy93]

Not likely, but things would probably be slightly better... social media dramatizes insecurities that always existed in people. A weirdo will seem like more of a weirdo online, but it doesn't change the fact that they are still a weirdo.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps these guys would have better socal skills if they had not devoted their formative years to video games, socal media, and texting instead of talking.

[Asker]

Why do people attack video games especially boomers

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not attacking video games; I have played some vdeo games. What I believe s harmful is guys whose lives are devoted to vdeo games and achieving level 21 or whatever instead of having social interactions and developing social skills. Older people comment on that because we are in a position to observe the harmful effects that has had.

[AdithyaR]

Personally I don't think it would change anything for me. Whether it's fifth years ago, fifty years in the future or right now; I'd be just as hopelessly single.

[Adam1978]

Yes because women would have less to pick from and less to compare with. So the competition would be lower. Doesn't mean they would attract anyone.

[Luopio27]

I dont think it makes a difference. The girls n guys standards haven't changed since stone age. Girls get rejected for their looks, guys get rejected for their insecurities.

[dustybiker]

I lived then. People were just the same, different problems.