Am I a pick me or a weak woman?

[Celestinee]

Well I don't know where to start but my friends are calling me words like pick me or a weak woman and this made me self questioning. The thing is in my relationships I believe that men need to be like one step forward but I'm just applying it to my own intimate relationships like I don't wanna think about where we're gonna eat, where we're gonna go for vacation or dates or think about the things that is gonna give me a hard time to decide I just want my man to say the last words if I believe that he is an intelligent person. I don't wanna pay for myself because it makes me feel less feminine when I am with my man I feel embarrassed and humiliated when we have to pay separately even though I made a really good amount of money. When we’re in a situation like he's giving me signs he’s not gonna pay for me I suggest to him that I will give him my card and he will make the payment for me because like I said it is embarrassing for me and please don't judge me I dont know why I feel this way. I live in Europe and having child out of wedlock is very common I also think that this is very embarrassing for the woman. Like I think myself in a situation that I have a baby with a man who is not my husband legally how should I describe him to people like he is the father of my child or my boyfriend. The men in Europe thinks I'm crazy and I don't need no governments approval for having a baby. They dont understand me or I don't understand them I really don't know. In bedroom, in social life I want my man to be more dominant and make my life easier my friend circle says that I'm insecure and weak and also pick me and I'm not healthy in mind. I tried to go with the way my friends suggested but I was never happy I guess it is my temperament to be submissive. Sorry for my English if there is a mistake English is not first language

[kylee2437]

Your friends sound weak and pick me’s because they don’t want to put their foot down when a man doesn’t want to be a man. You want a man of tradition , meanwhile they want a generation Z inspired relationship. Sounds like you have standards and they don’t because they want to impress the new aged “man”.

[Celestinee]

Thank you this is what I mean. I want a traditional man

[kylee2437]

@Celestinee I’m sure your friends have troubles dating too since they would rather impress a man than have set standards. That’s why many women (guilty myself) have dating troubles in this generation because they are too busy trying to impress a man when us women have so many more options

[Celestinee]

Actually they get along well with the men in my country. in Europe men are less masculine and more feminine nowadays. My Friends have babies out of wedlock they go fifty fifty in every area they say they are happy but they seem so nervous tho and its hard for me to find a man in here bc men think I'm crazy for my thoughts but when I found a man they say they feel like King and it makes me happy

[kylee2437]

@Celestinee I mean is the goal to really have a baby out of wedlock? After seeing my friends situation with her fathers child, I don’t think it’s my goal lol

[Celestinee]

I agree with you this new western mind is so sick I think men in us is way to masculine

[Iron_Man]

You’re making things very complicated for yourself and in these times many women help out paying for things also of course you have to plan and organize a vacation. You just don’t decide in a few days. Well let’s go here without getting your ducks in a row unless it’s a tiny road trip. You plan something like this out, so you can have the best experience and be prepared and be organized

[kylee2437]

I don’t agree with this. Yes she can pick up a tab once in a while however she sounds like she has better standards than her friends do. Her friends sound like the type of people that want to impress the new aged men because they don’t want to put their foot down on certain aspects

[Iron_Man]

@kylee2437 I just said she can pay

[kylee2437]

@Iron_Man right but she isn’t making it complicated for herself by having standards. Her friends have no standards

[Iron_Man]

@kylee2437 I was talking about organizing vacations

[kylee2437]

@Iron_Man advice that will stick with me forever is a guy that looked around 80 years old when I was grocery shopping decided to talk to me and said “don’t settle for a guy unless if he’s taking you different places and settings everytime you are together”

[Iron_Man]

@kylee2437 OK good for you, but I’m talking about something totally different

[kylee2437]

You aren’t lol you are insinuating she should be open to plan things and she doesn’t want to. There’s men out there that will have a plan 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s not different

[Iron_Man]

As a matter of fact every gender. Everybody in this world has to plan and organize a high-quality trip which includes flying out hotels, rental cars, travel packages, maybe even tour guide groups unless it’s a small little driving road trip I know that you’re a big debater online, but come on you’re talking to the best of the best.

[Iron_Man]

Women can’t make a plan I don’t think so

[Celestinee]

It's not about incapability. Women tend to be more submissive and women like to see their men is capable of organizing things for them it is a skill and even though the new western nations perceive these woman-man gender roles as a curse, those feelings, roles are innate and forms with our genders. I don't think I could express myself well because of the lack of my English

[Iron_Man]

Here in America, if you always depend on a man to do everything for you then one day when you’re on your own you have to depend on yourself and you’re not used to it and then it becomes a disaster. It’s nice to be able to organize things like my mother in life as far as my sister goes she’s a professional she organizes trips without feeling it’s a man’s job to do it only.

[Guy13]

You shouldn't have to pay yours all the time. That's F-ed up... Stand your ground and find you a man that is already Manned-Up, rather than boy-man.

[Celestinee]

I don't want to pay and its not for the free food or something. I am not a person who always goes on dates with random men. I just want my man to pay for me and I will cook and clean stay loyal to him and that makes me happy but it is so hard to find a traditional man in Europe.

[girlypop00]

A pick me is usually someone who just spews bs to get men's approval at all costs. It sounds like you just have a more conservative belief system and that's okay, as long as you don't apply those expectations to other people.

[boobliker]

hay I do understand the man should stand up and do those things
but its time you girls told us, men, what you really want from us
like paying the bill put it in his hand before you go in to eat.
tell him to hold the door before you get out of your home
he will understand we need guidance, please.

[Phoenix98]

It's perfectly fine to want a traditional man I don't think there's anything wrong with that if that's what you want.

[inhua]

doesn't sound like it. there's nothing wrong with what you believe in.

[Danael31]

I guess you can say you're weak in my opinion. Saying that it's the man's role to do everything is tiring.