I think two individuals on a date should do what works for them and what they are comfortable with. Relationships are as unique as the two people in the relationship. I understand that we all have our opinions but a couple should only consider the opinion if that person if that person exhibits qualities in their relationship they would like to have in their own. I've been married for 20 years because I don't listen to the advice of single or divorced people. Just as I wouldn't take financial advice from someone that's struggling Financially.
I think they should, because of what it costs to go out for a good evening. A prior girlfriend and I usually split everything down the middle, and we could afford to do more and travel more.
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Generally yes. I don't think it should be so hard-and-fast as to say "we each pay half for all dates." There's a little romance lost there I think if you keep this to super strict.
But I think that it should overall be split evenly. It shouldn't cost one person more to be in a relationship. That doesn't make sense. So equal yes. But... if you want to take her out and pay sometimes... and she wants to take you out to pay sometimes... that's probably good to add into your mix.
Splitting costs overall makes sense. After all, this is a mutual relationship. Not a prostitute. It shouldn't "cost" you money to date someone. You should spend money to go out and be together because you want to be together. Since you both should want to be together equally, you should both spend the money involved in you going out and doing things together.
I don't know if there's any real valid argument against this. Aside from basically saying "I'm a princess and feel like a guy should take care of me". Personally I've got zero patience for that view. I'm never dating those girls so I guess it doesn't matter that they disagree. Anyone I'd ever be interested in would see it this way too.
That's not to say that I wouldn't pay for a first date. Or even a second date. That's just fine, and I have no problem with being "traditional" on that. But if we like each other, and are going to keep seeing each other... we're splitting costs.
I have no problem with being "traditional" on that.
What is your definition of being traditional? You pay for the first and second then split? How is that in any definition being traditional?
No, They should agree on who pays for what. Rather than splitting the check, it might be better to take turns paying... he pays for date 1, she pays for date 2, etc.
It doesn’t matter. Paying for a bill is a nice thing to do. For a man or a woman. But it’s not entitled.
Too much focus on money:DIVORCE
You're a masochist, coach!! "Until they are married?" This is out of hand! LOL
General rule: If you asked her out, you pay. Me personally, if my girlfriend said to me " I need to go out to dinner tonight - been a rough day, and I want you there", even though she initiated, I'd still pay because she's my girl and she needed it. Also guys, if you can't afford to pick up her half when you ask, you best let her know right then and there.
Perhaps I'm the unicorn that never dated a girl where this was a problem or even came up. There was no formula, no "I pay dates one and two, but by date three you should be offering". I never had that mindset, and maybe I attracted women who didn't either.
There were times when I was in between jobs and she wasn't, so she'd take us out and say "don't worry about it". When the reverse was true, I did the same. When we were both working, it just wasn't an issue when the bill call. I'd grab it, or she'd grab it and we'd say " you got the last one, didn't you? Ok, I'm leaving the tip". It was a playful thing. Now it's become a freaking talking point, with some women saying shit like "do you know much money and time I spend getting ready for... date #2, or #3 ?
When you're in a long term relationship that's headed for marriage or commitment, you should be talking about money, housing, certainly family expectations and beliefs, all along, and becoming a team. Who picks up the check is the last thing I want to worry about!
Well when the woman states she won't have sex until marriage then the man should equally say he's waiting to spend his money on his wife lol
When the woman states she won't have sex until marriage, there will be no second date for me. LOL
LOL I know right.. I was being cheeky.
It seems somewhat logical in this day and age, at least the first couple of dates. As the relationship develops, I still like the old fashion ways of male courtship. Even though we have been married for an extremely long time, and we don't have separate banking accounts, my husband still pulls out the card to pay for our dinners out.
Most women do like the old fashion ways of male courtship but those women weren't sleeping with other men at the time. It's a much different ball game today unfortunately for the women with traditional values.
That makes a lot of sense coach. Things have changed since my days of dating.
You and me both. Men out here crying about paying for dates is real and it took a while for me to do the research and find out that yes it's real shit going on.
I hope it our boys follow our traditional methods of courtship, dating is an experience, and an investment. My husband was in his late 20s when we got married, I can't imagine the amount of money that he spent dating all those years before he ever met me. Never heard him complain once. You're almost paying for an education :-)
Unfortunately many women are already fucking some dude while having Men exercise their traditional values. So most men are like no thanks.
Uggghh, makes sense
One more question though, are the men who are getting laid paying for the dates?
Only if negotiated before hand. If not then that would be a huge problem afterwards.
I think it depends on the pepole and depends on who each is, and what they want to show there partner
But as a baseline
Share the bill
But, if one side invites the outher maybe to there fav spot that may be fancy and exspinsive then they should cover it, as they put the exstra there
I agree.
I'm not a skin flint.
It never crossed my mind that paying for a date was being taken advantage of. If I asked her out, the pleasure of her company was enough. Plus, I'm a better judge of character than that.
I also like the lady-gentleman thing.
At the same time, once we started dating regularly, my girlfriends offered to pay for things. I didn't have a macho thing about insisting on paying all the time.
I suspect that some guys expect a quid pro quo if they spend a penny. That's a mercenary attitude. That should be a huge red flag for women.
If I paid for a couple of date or two and things didn't work out, I never gave a second thought to the few bucks I spent entertaining her. After all, l enjoyed myself, too. Plus, it was chump change.
I don't ask women to split the check.
I'm a man, I'll foot the bill. You just sit back and relax, daddy will take care of it lol.
I won't be taken advantage of, but I'm not gonna get all pissy if she doesn't help with the check. That's a modern metro-man way of thinking. Fuck feminism. I know you have money, but I got this.
I still believe that, deep down, women want a man to pay. At least on the first date. It shows her that he's a capable man, who can run his own life and take care of her in the process. He doesn't need "help" with a $60 restaurant bill.
You can shit on me all you want, I know it's an unpopular opinion. But you won't change my mind
Most women your age is fucking someone else. Congrats. lol
*are
... and that's because most men my age are making them split the check 😉
They make them split the check because they don't want there money going to a woman who is having sex with Jimmy later that night. At least that is what they tell me.
I'm seeing a girl right now that is somewhat submissive and traditional (I know it's a dying breed) and she kinda gets turned on by my masculinity if I pickup the tab.
But at the same time doesn't feel ok letting me pay for everything so we do end up splitting or taking turns paying.
It's a little contradictory, so I try to keep it a mix of everything. Meaning I'll pay when the date has meaning (a holiday or a celebration) but split with her if it's a regular date or we're just hanging out
It heavily depends on a date and who I'm with. Today it became almost a norm for a lot of girls (not all, there are still good women out there) who are going out with guys simply to eat a food of their choosing and knowing it will be free. Heck, many times those type of girls even take their friend with them, so they can talk, while a guy sits in silence and yet a lot of those poor guys still take on their bill after they finish eating.
Rules have changed, for both men and women when it comes to dating and marriage, biology stayed the same, needs stayed the same, but the rest became a Whole lot worse.
Not at all , now if she expects you to pay every time then kick her ass to the curb where she belongs but the first date should be paid by whoever is asking the other on a date , if you ask her then you should pay , if you ask her for a second date then you pay as well if she offers to pay during that second date politely decline her offer and say don’t worry about it , I don’t know, I guess I am old school I grew up learning by my grandfather on how to be a gentleman to woman , I always been a worker so money was really never the issue , Now , after a few dates if she calls and asks you to go somewhere with her , she should offer to pay but if she just expects you to pay for every date then she is more than likely just using you , and looking for a meal ticket , Me personally won’t even ask a girl on a date if she doesn’t have her shit together , I am looking for a partner not a mooch
I always pay for dates. It actually feels nice to treat someone that I enjoy spending time with.
I believe every person can pay how they like and there are no rules or obligations. I just personally enjoy paying.
But, I’ve been quick to end things with someone at the sign of red flags or incompatibility.
So, if they’re rude or not present or just not marriage material, that’ll be the last time I’ll be seeing them.
I’m generous, but I also have standards and the self-respect and self-worth to walk away if things just aren’t working out.
If you’re talking about just friends though, I believe it’s proper etiquette for whoever does the inviting to do the treating. And that can go back and forth.
I think that you should be conscious that one persons discretionary dollars are not another's. Dating dollars are discretionary i. e. it is not money you have to spend on essentials such as rent electricity etc.
If I earn a lot more than the person I am dating then I would be willing to spend more. I would probably engineer it such that she pays for a cheap date whilst I pay for expensive dates.
I think splitting checks is awkward so better to take turns paying.
I fully agree but if the guy ever comes up short, I got him. I just prefer we pay our own way every date
Yes I am starting to see this more and more.
I grew up with a mom who dated a guy that she mostly had to take care of financially, so paying for myself never appeared to be an issue to me. I’m just not gonna be a sucker like she was. She dated a sugar baby forreal
Yeah I hear that for reals.
I go with courting... never dated a bizzarely rich girl though, and did avoid the ones richer than me when I was poor. Felt... well, wrong (since I am in any case the higher-IQ one).
If she bought me a cup of tea, and, say, helped me run my business if we needed more time together or more money, I'd be in love nirvana. 't is all ot takes 🤷♂️
I consider myself old fashioned thinking I’m 30 and not having a boyfriend ever
I can go to date if there is a chance of us staying together if not I would NOT waste the men money or time.
So far I have gone to 1 date only because I noticed I really like this guy and he is looking for marriage same as me. And guess what he is the only guy I have dated so far and getting to know lol. And guess what again.. he has paid everything we have done so far and he doesn’t even let me pay when I insist.
I think it comes down to the women moral and values. For example if she knows this guy doesn’t stand a chance with him then pls be kind and pay yourself. If you know there is a chance then let the men pay.
But sadly nowadays women are mentally cheap they don’t mind getting a free steak or pizza even though they know they don’t like this men.
It’s all on the women hand and men are scared I get it why some don’t want to pay. Don’t blame them
no. I disagree, if I ask some if they want a drink, or whatever, I did the asking, then I pay, simple,
Most women never do the asking though.
And good for you. More women should.
No. Unless it has been discussed in advance, the asker should at least be wiling to pay. My reasoning is simple. If I surprise a girl by taking her to Pelican Hill, for example, I have chosen a pretty pricy place. To then stick her with half the cost when the check comes could blow up her budget for the month, and she did not really get to choose where we were going.
i reallt like my ex before paying for me. i jusr find it hot. we would do groceries togethet and in my cart there are items i wanna buy but i disn't because i'm budgeting he would get it abd put it on his cart. i find it so sweet.
Why did you guys break up?
I think whomever asks who to go out should pay the bill. If I asked her, then it is on me and if she asks me it is on her.
So what if I ask her more, it is just the price of getting know someone that I care about? and it is a small price to pay.
@Paul09 Didn't mean for it to sound like that. I was just stating what my perspective is on the matter. Obviously, she would care about me or we would not be in a relationship. I was referring to the fact that if she couldn't afford to take me out, that would not hinder me from taking her out. Some guys think it should be equal all the way through, I ask her out, she needs to ask me out to keep it even. I am not about to let her pay for outings that she can't afford, and I am not willing to just do nothing on account of keeping things even between us.
Leave a comment... she's the one that wants to go out so she has to pay for everything. Woman better recognize I'm just fine chilling at home and not eating anything. She wants to go out... pay for it... she needs to impress me too... because if I end up sitting there wishing I would rather be playing video games instead...
Yes but if it's someone's birthday, got a promotion, something like that then the other person should be treating them.
Also, I don't like splitting the bill all the time. I prefer paying for dinner once and then he'd pay the next time. I even do that with some friends, it's nice and it keeps it light tbh.
And no, I don't wait until it's his time to ask for an expensive meal. They're all within the same range, haha
No. I believe that each individual couple should decide what works for them.
I pay for myself and I’ve paid for my partner plenty of times. Sometimes I’ll pay for the movie or show or event and they’ll pay for food later or while we’re there. There doesn’t have to be just one way to do things. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with.
u My partner & I don’t split checks, but we keep things even. He spoils me and covers the costs of one date, and I spoil him and cover the cost of our next date, and so on. That way the costs are never one sided.
I believe that all date costs should be even, and split fairly, but whether that’s one person pays for one date and the other person pays for the next date, or the two people split the bill evenly every date, that’s up to the couple.
A man and woman should handle it however they decide amongst themselves to handle it. They're adults and can figure it out. I had my thoughts on the matter that a few guys ignored during my dating years, which made for a few "relationships" that never got off the ground. This is really not difficult.
I don't like splitting checks, like the act thereof. Not in any way opposed to either person paying. So, alternate. One person pays this time; the other person pays the other time.
I believe that courtship should be approached with a mindset of "I want to give to this person", instead of "What can this person give to me?". So it does not turn into a "who courts who" thing, or "who pays for who" thing, but rather, I want to make this person happy so I shall pay. It should go both ways!
You know you both had a good time when you're quabbling over who gets to pay!
i think things should be 50/50 even after marriage.
Whether that’s splitting the bill evenly every time, or if one pays for dinner one night, then the other should pay for dinner the next time. If one pays the electric bill then the other should buy the groceries. Etc. etc.
that’s how I personally like my relationships to work but if others are happy completely spoiling their partner paying for everything, then good for them 🤷♂️
Most people are aware of my strong opinions on this issue. I am a fierce egalitarian.
However..., I MAY treat my fiancee to dinner at least once before we get married. (Just for the heck of it!)
But once we get married she's paying for herself again. Lol
On the first dates, typically the guy pays the first few dates dinner and date. If it becomes more than just a few dates and you chose him to date regularly that you can trade off on paying for dates. You don't want to come off as some lazy gold digger, and the guy does not want to come off as a broke scrub.
I see a lot of people saying "whoever asks out pays", but women almost never ask men out. Funny how that works. 🤔
I think that they can come to some rational agreement between the two of them. If not, maybe they should re-think the concept of marriage: things won't get any easier.
Dating protocol from when I was dating was that the guy paid for the date: EOS!
not generally, no. like if you're a man, looking for a very traditional sort of relationship where the man is the breadwinner and the woman stays at home, does the household and rises the children, there's nothing wrong with paying for her on dates every single time.
but if you want a more modern setup, then the girl should most definitely pay for herself as to signal that she's looking for a relationship where she's the equal partner.
I personally don't mind paying if I have enough money and she's my girlfriend.
Now, for men out there that don't have enough money and his girlfriend works then they should definitely help each other splitting the bills while dating. It's only fair.
How would you feel if you found out she was fucking someone else as you were taking her out paying for dates?
Obviously hurt. The relationship will be over.
Well you would have saved a bunch of money if you would of split the bill to begin with after finding out. That is the point many have made to me that I guess I will make to you lol I am the messenger of the young and woke.
Well, I'd treat it like I've done with my friends. I usually ended up paying at the end because I invited them, unless I brought it up before we went out to the restaurant. They usually accepted to either go dutch or pay for it. I would pay for the first few and then would start a discussion. I don't mind doing it for every date, but something unexpected might pop up.
Id prefer to pay for whatever I consume & for him to pay for whatever he consumes
Logically speaking…the person who asked the other out should offer to pay. Obvi bargaining will commence.
But chivalry is well ingrained into us men, and I think still gets chicks wet too. So I don’t see this changing. And it’s not the biggest deal…
I think the guy should pay because it is the sweet thing to do as a man.. but if the girl knows she ain't interested, she should defiantly pay her own way. Not make a guy pay for her when she doesn't even want him.
It depends on the situation. Some do, and others do not because the man wants to be a gent and treat the lady. Either way is fine with me. some people can't eat out a lot because eating out is super expensive these days.
Call me old fashioned but a man should take care of the woman always. I really hate women who think it is demeaning to help women.
I don't get why this is constantly brought up on here. I've never had a problem with paying, and I've had my share of bad dates. If it bothers you that much be VERY sure about her before asking her out. I've NEVER expected a woman to pay. And half have offered to pay thier share which the offer is always appreciated.
It is whomever invited the others responsibility to pay. I would never ask someone out without expecting to pay for the experience, on the other hand if someone invited me I would hope they would cover the bill.
It depends on the situation but normaly specially when they young or study they should split. But a men which makes enough money and is not studying he would of course pay.
100% agree, this is 2023 not 1923 where most women didn't work and needed men to pay for dates. Sorry feminist, you can't have your cake and eat it too, you fought for equal rights, and splitting the bill on dates is an expression of equal rights.
I vote B. but it is really the person that extends the invitation is the one that should pay. Yes, most of the time it is the guy.
Women are looking for some evidence a man can support her, as such paying for everything is given as evidence. That women can and will abuse this for free services is reason to demand explication for being unmarried women after 30.
whichever you both prefer, i would prefer to split it according to who ate/drank what or doing a 'you pay this time, i'll pay next time' but if someone's offering and it's not too much i don't mind it either i guess
I hate splitting the bill, all my friends, family and most guys I dated always just took turns and that's about it.
Nah men should always pay for the date and or just choose a free date if he can't afford to pay.
@Wade12345 I don't blame her. Going out sucks
@Apple1996
That is a way to say you believe your time is worth more than the other person there for they should pay instead if you. That is a narcissistic way if thinking and is disgusting.
@MysteriousDarkness everyone's time is more valuable then money. Still tho I'd never personally ask to go on a date that cost money so if the other person is asking that then they should have to pay. Most of the time girls aren't the ones suggesting to go out
@Apple1996
You don't ask to go on a date that costs money because you don't want to have to pay ever. You expect the other person to initiate the date to the places you want to go and to do things you want to do that cost money so he is the obe paying
@MysteriousDarkness nah like on a personal level things like dinner, coffee, movie dates etc. Give me terrible anxiety so not a good way to have fun. I don't even allow my husband of 7 years to take me on dates like that and our money is shared
No, I don't think there should be any predetermined rules for dating at all. It's up to each couple to find out what works for them.
Well that is convenient.
Don't be stupid.
The "split check" usually means there isn't going to be another date.
Not necessarily but it shouldn't be one party paying all the time. Splitting is an option but so is alternating and one person treating the other occasionally.
I think they should split the checks but probably not that long. There will come a point in the dating process where they just naturally start doing things for one another including picking up the dinner bill
I know my boyfriend makes very good money. We split bills.
Shouldn’t focus on money. Whoever wants to pay should pay. If one partner makes more than the other, they should chip in. If neither makes much, halves each.
No. But the man shouldn't pay every time either. If I invite him, I'm paying.
Once in a while it is nice if she springs for it.
Then you don't feel used for your wallet.
If you’re asking me out and i don’t know you or crushing on you no I’m not paying anything.
Usually you only pay half when you aren't in a romantic relationship yet.
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