Girls, did you ever feel like you don't want to date unless you initiate it?

[CubsterShura]

I don't know what's going on with me nowadays, but I'm turning down everyone showing interest in me and I recently realized I want to be the one to approach and talk. The simple reason is that I just never got to do it as everyone I dated has been the one to ask me out or it's been very mutual, and the deeper reason is I'm tired of playing a passive role in dating.

I like being in control. I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out. It's a scary realization because now the responsibility is in you to put yourself out there, but it feels so much more liberating than being at someone else's mercy. Every relationship I've been in required me to do the emotional labor anyway, I might as well rightfully get acknowledged for it and date a guy who doesn't mind me being in control, instead of aged brats who want to sit in their driver's seat but expect me to run the steering wheel from my passenger seat.

[AmberWilson]

Personally, I know someone who felt the same way as you. She was tired of waiting around for guys to ask her out or make the first move, so she decided to take matters into her own hands. She made a list of all the qualities she wanted in a partner and then started actively looking for guys who fit the bill. She joined online dating apps, went to social events, and even approached guys she found attractive in public places. It wasn't always easy, and she had some awkward encounters along the way, but eventually, she found someone who was a great match for her. And the best part was that she felt in control of the whole process.

Another thing to consider is that some guys may feel intimidated by women who take the initiative in dating. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. It can help weed out the guys who aren't confident enough or interested enough in you to pursue a relationship. And the guys who are interested and confident will be more likely to appreciate your forwardness and respond positively.
If you have need a expert More about relationship >>

[CubsterShura]

It's not even like I have to wait, like I said I do get guys showing their interest and even currently at least one guy is clearly interested in me and despite him doing nothing wrong at all I am not feeling any interest simply because I feel like history is repeating again and I'll hate myself if I let it happen.

[Agape93]

Yeap. If I'm interested, I make the move. I don't like being approached.

[Part2603]

Sounds like you're dysfunctional. Just because every relationship you've been in has started with him asking you out and has been dysfunctional doesn't mean that the guy asking you out has been the cause of your dysfunctional relationships.

You're supposed to have standards. You're supposed to entertain options. Instead of jumping deep into a relationship with the first guy that asks you out, you should flirt with and encourage many guys to chase you. You should play hard to get so that way you have appropriate amount of time to vet your suitors.

You suddenly going to the bar and hitting on men isn't going to change your situation because you're not addressing the root cause. Doesn't matter if he initiates or you initiate, if you're not conducting yourself like a lady and holding men to a higher standard, you're going to be disappointed with the quality of men that stick around.

Cast a wide net and pick the best suitor.

[CubsterShura]

Sure bud, as we all know internet strangers provide the best diagnosis. Sheesh.

[OlderAndWiser]

It sounds as if you have discovered yourself and, unfortunately, it probably means that you can't return to your native land and live within the bounds of a marriage that is acceptable within your culture. You have discovered that you can't be subservient.

[CubsterShura]

I actually wouldn't mind an arranged marriage still, but I'd like someone who appreciates his privacy and prefers living in a nuclear family instead of a joint family, and has the spine to stand up for me if his family gives me any trouble. I always tell people "if you have an in-law problem, then you actually have a husband problem because he should be dealing with them".

[CubsterShura]

And I actually don't mind being compliant as well as long as I have a reason to trust him in terms of his ability to make good judgments and decisions. In fact if I think he'd be even better than me even if I had control I'd ask for his idea! I just don't want to have to do it simply because he's a guy.

It's all about communication and being on the same page about how we approach life at the end of the day.

[Guy13]

Make a signal, will you please? Like your forehead lights up in green, Ready. 21 and already this complicated

[ChiTown33]

Based on most posts from women on here I'm guessing most want to have more control, more say, same as you. But no most don't want to initiate it.

This suggests to me that you just have a clearer idea of what you want and are not afraid to say it. I wish you the best of luck.

[Still-alive]

Not a girl, but i just want to commend you for your willingness to initiate. more and more women are starting to do it and i definitely welcome it. as far as im concerned if you want to date someone, you go ahead and approach them and try your shot. it shouldn't just be up to guys to do that in our day and age.

anyways hope more follow your footsteps here.

[dragoblack]

Guys like being asked out. there's no mental games/acrobatics and the intentions are well known, we like that shite!
Asking someone out has never truly been a masculine thing and honestly it is stupid to think of it as such. If you like someone
, go for it!

[msc545]

Great. You can see how it feels to be a male - lite version.

[CubsterShura]

What does this have anything to do with being male lol making the first move is awkward for everyone.

[msc545]

It has everything to do with being male. Men are expected by society and by women to make the first move when it comes to dating. I'm surprised you don't know this.

[CubsterShura]

There was a time when only men were expected to go to school. Doesn't make schooling any man thing.

[msc545]

Unfortunately, approach expectations have not hanged much.

[LemiaOfThunder]

I'm oppersite unless they ask first

[Nahid1707]

You deserve love