Realised why my relationships don’t last, how could I improve? I’m F24?

[Anonymous]

Here are few things about me why I think my relationships haven’t lasted.
I think I’m easy, I go to hotels with guys to cuddle too soon. It’s actually a thing, y’all will be surprised. I do that on 2nd or 3rd time of meeting. We start off as friends & then end up in a situationship. I find myself becoming very invested in a guy after texting everyday/all the time…& then we eventually do drift apart, sometimes it’s mutual from my side & other times I’m the one who ends up crying over the guy.
I have realised that I shouldn’t be going to hotels with guys especially not on the 2nd meet, I should get to know a guy & ask myself am I actually looking for friends or am I looking for a relationship. If it’s a potential relationship, then I should change my ways and actually go on a date and get to know a guy. I also find that when men offer to pay, I always do want to go halves or I end up paying because I feel bad for them spending money on me and so I heard that’s basically a way of me rejecting them and seeing them only as friends (which guys will get that impression from me if I do this)
I also find that I reveal about myself too much, talk about being depressed/suicidal with the same guys who feel the same way as me. I talk about my past and also have spoke about an ex with another guy I was into (I know I shouldn’t have done this)

I would like to change going forward.

The thing is, i struggle with date ideas, are the guys supposed to plan a date? Or what activities could we even do? I don't know what I’m interested in doing. I also never know what to talk about with the guys, I used to only just get drunk and cuddle and sometimes would have oral sex, I’ve got vaginismus which I’ve got an upcoming appointment for with a gynaecologist, which is why the actual sex didn’t happen. I do feel that I owe them sex sometimes and that’s what they want from me.

I need advice on how I could actually start dating and my social skills. If anybody could advise me, I’d be grateful.

[NamerOfStars]

I think you'd benefit from taking some time to sort out who and what you are- if all you know you like doing is snuggling and sexy stuff, well, that's certainly enjoyable, but when sexy time is over, what are you even going to TALK about? Lust is an important part of a romantic relationship, but it can't be the only part, or it's all you get.

Think of a topic that interests you: pool or Star Trek or falconry or whatever. Head to the library and find a book or two on it, and read them. Talk to people about the subject; you'll probably have some interesting exchanges of ideas and opinions. Likewise, find another activity that you enjoy, be it bowling or board games or botticelli, or even something that doesn't start with B. Then do that thing, and see if you meet guys who are also interested. It'll give you both something to do AND to talk about.

Now, my experience with date-planning has generally been something like "pick an activity you think you'll both enjoy, plan a backup thing or two if it doesn't pan out, think of how you could get food somewhere convenient to wherever the thing is, and call her to ask and schedule"- there's a lot to be said for keeping things a little loose. Despite how it may seem, you don't really need to have a fully detailed plan just to date someone (it can help, and for some specific things it IS necessary, but generally not). There are a great many things you can do, but if you don't really know what you like, you probably don't know what you'd enjoy.

[Gibbons44]

What's your ethnic background?
I have a theory that might apply to you (pm would be best, e. g. follow me)

[karekaaaa]

Dont be that easy

[karekaaaa]

How many guys u talk to?