What do I do if my boyfriend makes me feel unattractive?

[shi-shi]

My boyfriend is constantly poking fun at my body, he makes fun of my small boobs, teases me about my butt being too big, comments on my height and weight, he even pinches and pokes my tummy fat sometimes when we're having sex.

I love him a lot but it's starting to take its toll on me, I feel very ugly and I've lost a lot of the confidence I used to have. My friends say leave him but I really don't want to do that.

Is there any way to just fix this situation easily

Updates

1 y

So I tried to talk to him about it like a lot of you suggested and he got very defensive and we had a big fight, a lot of really upsetting and humiliating things came to light. He basically confirmed that he didn't find me attractive anymore, tried to say it was my fault for gaining weight and then accused me of guilt tripping him when I cried about it. I guess we're not together anymore

Updates

1 y

Also found out he'd been showing his friends very very private pictures and videos of me, so that's humiliating..

[Anonymous]

Well, first and foremost the best thing that you can do is take control of your own mind.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about you, not even those close to you, you define how you percieve yourself, you define your emotional state, you are responsible for your own feelings.

When someone insults you it is an invitation for you to accept this definition of who you are, you are being invited to 'take it to heart' and use it in your own mind to define who and what you are and govern your feelings etc, this is a choice that you make.

The only way to protect yourself from this is to make your spirt animal the mighty duck, its beautiful sleek and oily back repell all insults like water, you cannot offend the duck, it cares not what you think, it just laughs quack quack quack quack quack quack..

You also decide by the way how well or badly you allow other people to treat you, when you dont back your words with actions and consequences when people violate your boundaries you give them permission to act as they please.

You are not a victim you are an empowered, even duck powered Shi shi.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm sorry this happened to you, that guy is such an asshole.

You can easily do better than this.

[Truthatanycost]

Like so many women, you are attracted to toxic men. But their trick is they mix in occasional nice treatment along with the poison so you end u saying things like 'He's not a jerk really, he's lovely most of the time.'

You are in a toxic, abusive, low vibrational relationship that will do nothing good for you. The longer you remain in it, the more damage will be done, and the more it will negatively impact your future and the direction of your entire life. We are here to ascend, to grow, to reach a higher vibration, to become healthier, stronger, wiser, to grow in love, reverence, respect, joy, and grace. Anyone, or any partner that does not bring those things into your life is not worth being with period. What path do you want to be on? Ascension or low vibration. I know what one I want to be on...

[DevikaButts95]

Haven't I talked with you before? You're extremely hot!!! I'm sorry this happened to you. That dude is a loser.

[Anonymous]

Reading the edits I'm happy you got away from him. He sounds like a jerk and you deserve better

[Red_Arrow]

If a guy likes the way a gal looks and she puts on a lot of weight then he probably will not like the way she looks after adding the weight. He can still like the person you are inside, but you really should try not to add weight like that. Regardless, he should not be making fun of you and poking you like you describe.

Regardless, a guy should never show private videos and pictures of her to other people unless that is something you both agreed on. That is a total deal breaker! A guy who does that is a total ass.

You sound like you have given up on having a relationship with a man. I hope you can find a good man and enjoy a great relationship with him.

As for your physical traits, there is nothing wrong at all with small boobs. They are very sexy to a lot of guys. And some guys are into big butts, too. You need to get rid of this jerk and find a good guy. And make sure he respects you and would not show your private pictures to others.

[SnowedIn]

There is a way to easily fix this situation.

You won't like it... but your friends are right: leave him. Yes, I read that you said you don't want to do that. However. He's not nice. I could call him names but then I'd be stooping to his level.

What he's doing is wrong and unacceptable. Every time you see him, every time you take off your clothes, every time you have sex, you should feel sexy and beautiful and desired. This is the person who you can be vulnerable with. Who you trust.

He's broken all of that.

End it -- for your sake.

(Also, what he's doing is wrong and he's a jerk, but feeling unattractive is also a choice.)

[MementoMori777]

Yea tell him how it makes you feel, he clearly isn't aware, just so you know this is how some guys treat each other so he just seems comfortable around you, you should definitely mention that the joke insults effect you so he doesn't just think you are laughing with him and it's all fine.

[MementoMori777]

If he continues even with the knowledge that it effects you then you think of following your friends advice

[shi-shi]

Well, we've had had arguments about it before and he says I'm just oversensitive

[MementoMori777]

Then I like your friends idea better

[MementoMori777]

I'm glad you don't have to waste time on scum anymore, you are a single Pringle now, shouldn't be too hard finding someone better than him tbh, trust me you won't regret it then.

[Still-alive]

uhh wow no offense but he sounds like a jerk. he shouldn't be saying that stuff. im wondering if he even finds you physically attractive.

well if you value this relationship still i would try to communicate to him verbally that the things he says hurt your self esteem and make you feel unattractive. if he's mature enough he will listen and change course. if not well maybe its time you considered leaving him

[shi-shi]

He's not a jerk really, he's lovely most of the time

I think you're probably right but it's so scary trying to bring up a topic that might end the relationship, I don't really want to be alone

[Still-alive]

but you have to stand up for yourself otherwise he;s gonna keep saying this stuff. it won't stop.

being alone is scary but in my opinion its better than staying with someone who treats you badly. you can even end up feeling more lonely in a relationship like that than single.

[Still-alive]

@update yeah its for the best. he sounds like a huge a'hole.
try to see this as an opportunity to find someone who truly appreciates and loves you instead.

[shi-shi]

It's hard to feel happy about it

[Still-alive]

its normal allow yourself to grieve and such but do not contact him and also you may want to unfloow or unfriend him on everything so you aren't tempted to either. just spend this time to feel what you have to feel and focus on your hobbies and such.

[shi-shi]

I don't want to delete him because he might want to apologise

[Still-alive]

ok then if you can trust yourself not to either contact him or stalk his profile go for it. im just saying that stuff because some people can;t help themselves. then they contact the ex and the ex just starts saying terrible things and you are left feeling even worse.

he may someday try to contact you so be ready for that. hopefully you can move on

[Anonymous]

Either he stops or you leave. Tell him deep down how you feel, that if he can’t understand that then you need to leave. To be w someone who will take you as you are. But also may I ask is he doing this playfully? Or is he being an asshole about it? Like being serious. Like damn you have small tits w a huge ass.

[Guanfei]

Tell him. And if he doesn't care, leave him. There's no magic spell for it, if he knows and won't stop, then you need to leave.

Especially since, from what I've seen of you, you're hot as hell, and there's no reason for him to say otherwise.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Small boobs and a big butt is hot. I bet you're fine as hell.
If you weren't, I doubt he would make fun of you

[WanderingLoveWizard]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh my God that update is killing me. I guess we all called this one wrong

I am sorry though 😐

[shi-shi]

Yeah it wasn't a fun time

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I wasn't laughing at you by the way, just the irony.

He's a fucking idiot and you don't need that. I still think your body type is hot, so I stand by that

[spartan55]

I cannot fathom every saying anything like that to my SO. What a fuckhead.

[AydenHazor]

Have you talked to him about it. If you have and he keeps doing it, then leaving him is the best option as he does you a lack of respect and love by doing this

[convo_king89]

Well if you love him, make want you more to compensate for the flaws he keeps pointing out and take the attention away form that..

[andy530]

Wow sounds like it’s time for a new boyfriend

[TallAnon]

Talk to him about it or break up.

[Kmoney100]

I’m sorry he sounds like a asshole

[Anonymous]

The only way to fix this situation is to leave.

[Opinion Owner]

If you didn't say he could share those you can prosecute him for revenge porn.

[shi-shi]

I don't know how I could prove it, as far as I know he never sent anything, just showed them

[Nuthouse]

You have a great body

[Alex8736]

leave his ass

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

Sit on his face