Why do I always get this really strong urge to want to feel protected?

[Anonymous]

I always have this really overwhelming feeling that I just want to be kept safe and protected. Like right now I’m in bed and it hurts cause I just wanna feel safe and comforted by someone, and I don’t like being alone. My ex boyfriend used to make me feel that way and it makes it worse cause I miss feeling safe.

Most the reason him dumping me hurts so much is cause I miss the safety and comfort and security he gave me.

I just want someone to look after me. I like having someone that cares and pays attention and looks after me. And I don’t have that anymore and I miss it.

[serious]

Okay, so this natural. I think you are referring the protective type of love here. I mean where you want to feel protected, comforted by someone.

A man's love is always like that. It is very protective by nature. I wish you will get a man like that who will love you the way you want.

[Marked_Man]

It's normal for girls to want that, but don't rush into something with someone else too soon just because you're lonely and want another boyfriend.

[Asker]

I won’t. I’m nowhere near ready for that. I’m still too hurt over my ex and I need to work on myself. I’m young and I don’t need a guy. The right guy will come when he comes. I just hope he comes quick cause I don’t like feeling like this haha

[boggboss]

Sounds like u might need help if your not capable of functioning without having someone loom after u

[Asker]

When did I say I couldn’t function? I function fine, it’s just this feeling I get that I wanna be kept safe. I feel like it’s natural.

And I don’t want someone to loom after me. I just want some to care and look after me, like I’d care and look after them. It’s called a healthy relationship. And that’s okay to crave.

[boggboss]

Describing how bad things are whilst being in bed craving this doesn't sound like u are functioning again that's 1 sniput so I could be wrong and I agree it's normal to feel this way but the amount of detail u added to this sounds like it would be overly clingy not just healthy

[Asker]

Well maybe you’ve misinterpreted then, because that’s not how I mean it. I can function perfectly fine, just every now and again I get this feeling and it kinda sucks. Especially since my ex broke up with me and I’m still trying to get over that because I really cared for him.

When i mean being looked after, I mean these things. Like how my ex looked after me when I got too drunk, how he used to make us food and put it one one plate for us to share and always made sure I ate enough of it even though he could of easily eaten it all to himself, how he never let me carry anything too heavy and would insist on walking my dog so she wouldn’t hurt me, etc. He did many many little things like that which made me feel care for. And when he held me and I was in his company, I always felt safe and content. That’s not overly clingy, that’s a healthy relationship and it’s okay to be cared for like that. That’s how relationships should be.

And yes, I lay in bed and crave that every now and again. But it lasts 5 minutes and it’s done and it’s only every now again. It mostly happens before I get my period and I’m hormonal as all hell, so yeah i just want cuddles and shit. That’s normal.

I’m definitely not perfect and I definitely have some self love to work on, but I’m perfectly capable of functioning and I’m perfectly capable of holding healthy relationships.

[boggboss]

Fair enough

[TallAnon]

That sounds very human, we all want to feel close to others.

[MementoMori777]

Well men have the urge to protect, I guess it's the natural human instincts

[Anonymous]

I think it's a natural, instinctual desire among many (or most) women. Though I'm sorry to hear about your struggles.

[WhitneySnow]

I get the same way

[Cheerfull009]

A sincere and true husband /boyfriend always protects his partner

[exitseven]

it is a leftover part of our evolution.

[Anonymous]

Because you’re a coward

[Opinion Owner]

Seems you have really destroyed yourself by your poor choices. Maybe if you made better choices you wouldn’t have been dumped by such a great guy.

Now you’re worried about being preggers and you’re not even in a relationship

[mommymommymommy]

Pretty cliche for women

[Anonymous]

Maybe he found someone better