Why do I constantly feel so insecure all the time?

Question

I’ve always been self conscious. My whole life I’ve had social anxiety and have always worried about what others think of me. However, lately my body dysmorphia has really had me struggling. I hate my body, even though I’m 18 years old, 130 pounds, & 5’8 (which is normal for my age & height) I always “feel fat” I wish my thighs didn’t touch, I’ve always been extremely self conscious about my legs. My boyfriend knows that and always assures me that he finds them very attractive, but no matter what he says I still hate myself. Almost every night when I’m in bed going to sleep with my boyfriend, I just cry because all I’m constantly thinking about is my body & how I always feel so ugly. I’ve gained about 6-8 ish pounds since over a year ago. Obviously I still look pretty similar anyway but I can’t stop picking myself apart. I think I just recently became more insecure as well because I’ve only been in my current relationship for 2 months so far. I’m still constantly overthinking about what my boyfriend thinks of me & what I look like even though he calls me beautiful every day and always tells me how hot I am. He’s really skinny, which also makes me more insecure because he's the skinniest guy I’ve ever been with, so it makes me feel even more insecure when I’m around him even though he loves me. I’m honestly just tired of hating my body, never feeling skinny enough, always picking myself apart. It’s honestly so draining and these thoughts swallow me every day.

misogynistic_pig · Accepted Answer

Feeling insecure is a common feeling experienced by many people at different times in their lives.

There are many reasons why someone may feel insecure, such as lack of self-confidence, lack of emotional support, comparison with others, lack of personal achievement, exposure to traumatic situations, and others.

To overcome insecurity, it is important to identify the underlying causes and address them effectively.

Here are some tips that can help:

Practice self-care: Take the time to take care of yourself and do things that make you feel good.

Exercise, eat healthy, get enough sleep, and do things that you enjoy and that make you happy.

Identify your negative thoughts: Identify the negative thoughts that make you feel insecure and work on changing them to more positive and realistic thoughts.

Celebrate your achievements: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own achievements and celebrate every small victory.

Surround yourself with positive people: Surround yourself with people who support you emotionally and who make you feel good about yourself.

Seek professional help: If you feel that your insecurity is affecting your daily life, consider seeking professional help, such as therapy, for effective tools and techniques to overcome your insecurities.

Remember that overcoming insecurity is a process, and it's important to be kind to yourself and have patience on the road to self-confidence.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

I read about this once. I think related to relationship with your mother. It's how you interpreted some things growing up. If you want to hear more, lmk. Bottom line... like most human beings, you took on some childhood wounds in life and need to go back and heal those, so you can move forward without the negative emtions from those wounds controlling your thought. As children we aren't developed and we mis-intrepret things or process them through our lense, which isn't fully developed, accurate, or able to understand. Our self image gets messed up.

An adult mind and heart can re-visit and reframe those things and heal them.

There's some aspect of personality in how you interpreted things, so it may say something about your greater giftings which are burried in the rubble of your heart.

itsalyssaagain · Accepted Answer

My favourite thing to say to myself when I catch myself feeling this way is — stop worrying about life and start living it.

Agape93 · Accepted Answer

Because you still value the opinions of others, and there's no need to do so.

Guy13 · Answer

Go see a counselor and get a grip on your issues. Psychiatrist for meds perhaps. t

Finchie40 · Answer

Well you answered your own question , you suffer from anxiety , so you become your own worst enemy , you over analyze constantly in your head correct? So no matter what your boyfriend tells you you are going to think the worst case scenario. Understand that your boyfriend wouldn’t be with you if he wasn’t attracted to you , Guys are drawn to a girl’s beauty so if he didn’t think you were beautiful he wouldn’t be with you period, so your best bet is to make an appointment with a therapist and get yourself on some anti depressants , Most anxiety is
Caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain , that is making you feel insecure about yourself , once you get that under control you will start feeling better about yourself. Did you suffer any trauma in your lifetime? Did you have a really bad relationship with someone before your current boyfriend? Or have you been through trauma in your childhood years? Most anxiety is
Caused by trauma

MementoMori777 · Answer

Everyone will get older and they will lose their beauty, not saying you are ugly now but my point is that when you do get older the love is what will matter, your boyfriend finds you attractive, isn't that all that really matters, I mean his opinion should be the one that effects you and if he sees your beauty then that should be what's really important, who cares about everything else, let's not forget thighs always touch, thigh gaps are hard to find and they are actually not really wanted to that extend, remember thick thighs save lives lol

Appleserpia · Answer

Rather than trying to be that person you admire on tv, in a magazine, or on the internet why not be the person many people would love to copy based on looks? Don't pressure yourself into finding the ideal look, size, and weight but be proud of what you have.

There is a zero chance that you will find anybody that has your features irrespective of the flaws your mind keeps telling you. Be proud of your looks and kill that insecurity. You were finely designed by the Architect to look this way. And know this, your character is is way more magnetic than your features.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

hit the gym or track. doing nothing about it now is going to hurt you later. and later it's going to be too late. it's normal to gain weight at your age but it keeps going as your metabolism slows down. it's different for everyone but it doesn't stop until you start dying. motivate yourself instead of putting yourself down. no one likes someone who can do something about a situation and doesn't. it would be different if you couldn't do something about it. but you can. will you?

jshm2 · Answer

You just need to get some better fucking hobbies and do more with your life.

If you're idle, then you're going to think shit thoughts. It's just a filter some people like you lack.

There is no "cure" for it, but you just need to mitigate it instead. Maybe take up rock climbing, skateboarding, or anything else that takes concentration and focus. Your brain will need to focus on that instead of shit thoughts.

BagoH · Answer

You need to be a supportive friend to yourself , develop self compassion. Be supportive of yourself , what are you beating yourself up for? Accept yourself as you are and let reason be your guide in life. That way you can base your looks on what's objectively healthy and thus good. (healthy nutrition adequate food and exercise ) Start loving yourself girl , nobody can fill that void but you. Life is too damn short to hate ourselves , we must love ourselves and build ourselves 🙏👌❤️

jtrsdjfgdhgrsd · Answer

well you're beautiful because you're a person and people just want to feel alive and apart of something purposeful while feeling apprecieated i gueess in my lame opionion
im insecure all the time and i always feel like im gonna mess my day up or like a sentence or spelling or making someone hate me.

Anonymous · Answer

maybe if you realized just how many other guys get a boner from checking you out, you'd realize that you do look good. 🤣 Sounds like you really should meet with a counselor or sign up for some women empowerment classes to help you learn to love yourself. Ya can't keep coming back here every month with the same problem. It's not healthy. Time to make some progress. 😁

Gent207-2 · Answer

Therapy and medication  Your life is in your hands. You can waste it away or fight and make it better

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

You don't have to worry about what people are thinking, because no one's thinking about you anyway

BrookeS · Answer

You sound so beautiful sweetie, dont cry yourself to sleep. I always found girls who have a little bit more weight to be sexier. I love those curves! You are perfect!

Christoff92 · Answer

Be as pretty as you dream of being. So how you're a complete knockout 🥰

PatriceONeal · Answer

You're a headache. Your boyfriend reassured you but that's not good enough for you. Which means you don't respect the very man you are sleeping with. Goodbye.

JSmuve · Answer

You're a girl. Constantly feeling anxiety is what you do.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Definitely speak with your doctor and possibly start anxiety meds and get a referral to a good counselor. There is hope.

SweetTwistedSatanist · Answer

Cause you don't realize how little the others care. So ask around and hopefully you will someday.

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Unresolved childhood trauma. Physically or emotional unavailable parents.

Cubus · Answer

130 pounds is a normal weight for a girl that is 5'8. Don't worry.

noohair · Answer

You have a medical condition caused by social media. See a psychiatrist.

Why do I constantly feel so insecure all the time?

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