Guys, Guys what would be your reasons for declining a coffee date if a girl asked you?

[KatiaK_1996]

Updates

1 y

There’s a guy I want to reach out to for coffee but we haven’t talked in years. I’m afraid he’ll say no

Updates

1 y

Also - what about lunch? I might ask this guy to coffee or lunch (I’d pay my half of course).

[SteveSmith1985]

But he won't say no. Why would he say no? I don't understand why he would say no, unless he's like:

1. "eww KatiaK_1996? ... That girl? I would never consider dating her. Doesn't she know how undesirable she is. Would I like to go for a coffee date with her? That's sad. Why does she even try. It's pathetic. I'm embarrassed for her. Coffee. Ha! Common KatiaK_1996. Be realistic. I'm too good for you"

Or

2. if he has a girlfriend.

Otherwise, he'll definitely say yes! 🙂

[KatiaK_1996]

Can I message you?
I need help with that haha

[SteveSmith1985]

Lunch is just fine. Go for lunch. It's more satisfying than coffee. Get some eats. It's no more of a risk than coffee. Just tastier.

[dynamicyandere]

If I was single, and I declined a coffee date…


It would most likely be because I’m busy (I always have things going on) and the girl does not intrigue me enough to go out of my way to make some time for her.


If I happen to have some free time… I’d have to enjoy their company enough or look forward to their company enough to want to spend my free time with them.


If I was legitimately too busy, but genuinely was interested in them, I’d propose an alternative time to meet for coffee.

[KatiaK_1996]

In my case I am very cute, but me and the guy haven’t talked in years and he might not know why I’m asking him.

[dynamicyandere]

You can just be like, “Hey ___! It’s been a while! Wanna catch up some time?”

You can just frame it as you two just reconnecting and catching up.

And, maybe more will happen, maybe not. 🙂

[KatiaK_1996]

Yeah I am just worried. Lol. It’ll be embarrassing if he reads and doesn’t reply. He’s a nice guy we just don’t know eachorher well.

[dynamicyandere]

Ah, okay. Then a different angle may be better if you don’t know each other too well. 🤣

Hmm. Maybe something less aggressive and something like, “Hey ___”
“You’ve been on my mind”
“How are you?”

Dance the dance of friendly ambiguity. 🙂

[KatiaK_1996]

We talked years ago when we were in band together in like grade school. His name just keeps coming up over the years.

[dynamicyandere]

What instrument did he play?

[KatiaK_1996]

Saxophone.
Funny becuase everyone I’ve talked to said he seemed snotty but I always thought he was really sweet and gentleman-like.

[dynamicyandere]

You played in the same band in grade school, that’s a really good topic you can use to break the ice.

You could be like, “Hey ____. This is ____. Remember me? 🙂 We used to be in band together at [gradeschool]. You played the saxophone and I played the ____.”

That way you don’t sound like some random girl.

He might be like.

“Wow, damn. It’s been so long.”

And then you can dive in to some nostalgia, catch up with each other a bit. And then, when the time is right…

“Hey, when are you free? Wanna meet up sometime?”

If he’s interested he’ll say yes and find time or make time. (Unless he is shy.)

If he turns down the idea, he’s either uninterested or shy.

[KatiaK_1996]

Yeah that’s a good point. Honestly just hope he actually sees the message. Im pretty sure he’s single.

[dynamicyandere]

I wish you the best of luck! 🤞

[KatiaK_1996]

I’m a very cute redhead. I turn heads everywhere.
I want to captivate his interest tho haha

[dynamicyandere]

If you want to leverage that…

Maybe before you two meet up you can try adding each other on Instagram or Facebook or whatever social media platform you use.

That way, she can see how much you’ve grown and how pretty you are now, lol.

It can be something as simple as, “Hey! What’s your IG?”

[dynamicyandere]

he can see*

[KatiaK_1996]

Oh okay cool. Cuz for now it’s over LinkedIn.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Well hypothetically let’s say she has a pet shark that can walk on clouds. That would mean her Puss is in boots and so upon unveiling it say “FEWR ME, IF YOU DARE, NYA”. Only one thing can happen after that. She does the Nickocado Gritty and falls in a pool. That brings us to the coffee part, when she sees me she Willa say, “AAYYYYYN it’s the N*gga!”

I reply with a Seglass Notonday and she’ll says, “So what if I called you the N word, you got a problem with that YOU STUPID NI-“

And so basically in short summed up, she dies from a stroke because I said this:

“First off, your Mesozoic Throne cards are completely fake. Secondly, Gay Bowser, you have absolutely no Butlers. And lastly, you Young Bloth, have not once considered buying AppleTV+”

*she ducking dies*

[OfMiceandMen]

I highly doubt he would say know to coffee, especially, if you make it sound like you just want to catch up.

You already have a great "in" to the conversation.

Try coffee first and leave lunch for another time. That way you can get a feel for whether he is the same guy you liked or if he's changed.

If coffee goes well ask him to lunch afterwards.

[AydenHazor]

In most cases I will accept, assuming we're getting coffee/tea as friends. If she makes it clear it's a date, then, if I'm not interested in her romantically, I'll let her know that I see her only as a friend, but would love to still grab coffee/tea as friends

[strlb]

What's the worst that can happen, he says no. But what if he says yes and has been thinking of the same. Give it a try, don't be afraid of what could be, be afraid of giving up on something that you want to pursue. Best of luck! DM always open

[serious]

I would decline it because if I accept it then it would like leading a woman on and it is something I will never do.

[serious]

For your update. Wish you best of luck

[UniquelyBasic]

If I wasn't attracted to her at all or my introverted ass getting too anxious 😰

[Paul09]

I wouldn't , unless I'm not attracted to her. I hate rejecting as I hate rejection. So 8d feel horrible if I'd have to deny it.

[Jamie05rhs]

I honestly can't think of any good reasons! Lol
Even if I don't like her. It's just coffee!

[Tstrbrainer]

Unless he has a girlfriend, I don't see any reason to not to catch up with you after so many years.

[Tstrbrainer]

Just go ahead and ask

[KatiaK_1996]

Haha I just don’t usually ask anyone out

[Tstrbrainer]

But if you like him and want to know him more, just go ahead and do it.
You are a pretty one, people won't say no to you

[KatiaK_1996]

Would it come off like I’m chasing him? I feel like guys don’t like that.

[Tstrbrainer]

Just asking for a date or asking to meet up after so long isn't chasing.
You have to give him a chance and you have to show that you are interested

[AviatorTom]

Simple, I don't drink coffee.