How do you feel about women telling men they need to put more effort into a date but never planned one themselves?

[coachTanthony]

[jennifer_bloom]

I met a guy who tried to date on a budget and his idea of a date was taking a walk and playing with his cats. He invited me to his home for that multiple times and I avoided it cause my religious culture does not allow that type of interaction with men.

[Pegases]

A lot of women aren't worthy of that effort. That being said, I think it is a man's responsibility to plan a date, especially if he wants a quality woman. Faced with the choice between a traditional woman, and a modern woman, and most men will choose the traditional woman. So, if a man wants a traditional woman, he must be willing to do the things that traditional men do, and planning a date is without question one of those things. So I see no issue with women that maintain mostly traditional values, looking for men that are also traditional in this way.

[OlderAndWiser]

My knee-jerk reflex auomatic response to anyone who wants to suggest how I should do something differently is to ask, "Can you show me what you are talking about?"

[coachTanthony]

Well there is the rub. For the women who have never planned a date you may not get an answer.

[OlderAndWiser]

It genrally leads people to quickly change the subject.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Who says women never planned one themselves? Wouldn’t that be more an assumption than fact? 🤷‍♀️

[coachTanthony]

Nobody is saying A WOMAN has never planned a date lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

“ How do you feel about women telling men they need to put more effort into a date but never planned one themselves?”
🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[coachTanthony]

I will never post a question adding a bunch of garbage like "not all women" Most understand the question and understand that.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I understand the question just fine. I also understand there’s too many misconceptions or assumptions about people solely based off their gender… Thought GAG was meant for men and women to learn from one another so as to better understand each other but that’ll never happen until people let go of their misconceptions/generalizations/assumptions of the opposite gender. Just saying🤷‍♀️

[coachTanthony]

We are trying to learn why women (not all women) who have never planned a date before tell men they need to put in more effort when it comes to them planning a date. I know I would like to know why this is. How is that a misconception or generalization?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Cuz where do you get the information women are doing this from? And men don’t also complain about dates? And saying they pay is also an assumption. Especially these days where going Dutch happens more and shocker SOMETIMES the woman does pay..

[coachTanthony]

A quick youtube search you have many videos discussing it. Not to mention clients who are 99% women tell me they have never asked a guys out or planned a date.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9mDJJGjRzV4

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yeah cuz everything on YouTube is 100%truth 🙄🤣

[coachTanthony]

LOL. If you are not interested in why women do this then I get it but to say it doesn't happen is ridiculous. I am guessing you just don't like the question.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No never said it NEVER happens but think it happens less than men make it out to be, that’s all🤷‍♀️

[coachTanthony]

I think the majority of women who complain about men putting in more effort on dates never actually ever planned one from start to finish. And if they did it may have been 1.

[Pegases]

So most men are lying according to you is that right?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Pegases didn’t say that, who said most men are claiming women never plan the date yet complain about the date🤷‍♀️ and don’t some of the men on here always claim women are lying about everything?

[Pegases]

Lol I dont even think you know what you're saying.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Pegases maybe it’s you that don’t know What I’m saying😅I know exactly what I’m saying. People need to stop generalizing people solely based on gender and negatively at that… Even if you dated 100 women and none planned the date and all complained about the date that still wouldn’t accurately portray All or most women in the world.

[Pegases]

Are you single or married?

[Pegases]

And further, this assumption has more to with culture, than it does any individual man. However, most men share this sentiment, so it's worth simply listening, which is also something that a lot of women tend to want from men, but ofte aren't very good at doing for men. Lastly, I could easily say that just because you potentially have no problem making plans with a man, deosnt mean most other women don't. Lastly, from a cultural stand point, men are expected to make plans, and as a result, men make most of the plans. So much so, that women often don't realize that men do in fact enjoy the effort a woman puts into us, as much as women enjoy the effort we put into them. That's the just of this argument that I think you misinterpreted.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Pegases widowed after twenty years… just because some men haven’t had a woman that plans the date or doesn’t complain, don’t mean others don’t… My point is one person’s experience with the opposite isn’t the same as another’s… But let me ask YOU something? Never had a woman make you your favorite dinner? Wear that outfit she knows you love? Wear the scent she knows drive you crazy. That takes planning, right?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@Pegases if not planning at least effort. Guys on here say women don’t appreciate what men do for them or expect too much, I’m not saying some women don’t. But there’s also men that do the same, don’t realize or appreciate the effort women put into them. Instead of always trying to just make it like women are in the wrong, why not realize there’s both women and men that are and women and men that aren’t, just saying🤷‍♀️

[coachTanthony]

@Brainsbeforebeauty I pick on Men and Women equally just not at the same time. lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Why pick on anything you bully 😅😂😂

[coachTanthony]

@Brainsbeforebeauty To get to the bottom of it all lol

[Avicenna]

Lol, I’ve never been told that, but I’d take some constructive criticism

[molonski2]

I've not known this personally , but if it did happen I would be extremely pissed off , and would probably say " Who in the fck do you think you are? You absolutely stuck up bitch " , but highly unlikely to happen in Australia , and most certainly would not happen in Thailand , so not of concern at all..

Must be a USA thing...

[OfMiceandMen]

I think it can become a moving target sometimes. I went out with one girl that was like that, expected me to come up with the date ideas all the time. It was like she was a bystander in the relationship.

I quickly got rid of her, she had a princess mentality which is okay to a certain extent, bc you should treat her that way periodically, but, it gets old really fast when she wants it all the time.

[mobiusforniner]

Oh, women plan dates all the time. Its up to the guy to LISTEN and pick up on the hint.

It is rare, but in bold cases i have had women suggest doing something together, but regardless its up to the guy to reciprocate and act.

[coachTanthony]

Suggestions and planning are two different things and why is it up to the guy to listen and then act?

[mobiusforniner]

Because women like a man to take lead. Nothing is more unattrative to a woman than an indecisive, wishy-washy man.

[coachTanthony]

I agree but many aren't acting that way today.

[mobiusforniner]

Even the so called modern, assertive and independent woman still seeks a man. The idea of a man taking lead and being decisive is often confused with being a "bad boy". This couldn't be further from the truth. Women want an independent, decisive, leading man who also exhibits compassion, patience, and the ability to listen and compromise. A man who has the ability to keep their emotions in check; a man who has a conscious awareness of self and others.

This, is the so-called alpha male.

[Keishio]

Generally women don't plan dates because generally they never make the first move. (Generally not meaning all but more often than not before some woman takes this personally) If a guy takes you out and its not your thing try to see it for a perspective of effort rather than preference

[cryscrys1]

Put more effort in what way?
Just waking up in the morning and putting on your socks breathing and walking at your job etc it’s already challenging lol
If a women says that RUN away from that bitch. Women who ask for efforts and whatever are an annoying specie no earthling has to deal with.

[Anonymous]

I think she deserves the hand she gets dealt. I KNOW what a quality woman is. And a quality woman is NOT afraid to Give EQUALLY to a relationship. A quality woman KNOWS a guy's feelings are just as important as hers and is willing to put forth equal effort to makes sure they both have an enjoyable time.

[anon1903]

It depends on what she's asking.

Personally, I'm kind of a control freak. I want things my way. So I'd probably do the date planning for him.

But for the sake of this question, let's look into it.

Does she expect a huge overpriced bouquet of roses on every monthsary? Then yeah, she's gotta cool down a bit.

But does she expect weekend dates because they're both busy on weekdays? That's reasonable, why don't you take her out? It's not hard.

[genericname85]

i feel women long overstayed their welcome with expectations they can have towards men in general. it's time men rise their standards so we can finally stop this female induced divorce epidemic.

[Unit1]

Makes me want to be self-employed and move to Thailand Pattaya.

[coachTanthony]

Get some lady boy action? ha

[Unit1]

Would you?

[coachTanthony]

No lol

[RobT312]

Hahaa i would ignore the insult, and perhaps never plan one again 🤣🤣

[BungusHighFivePizza]

I just like to play the field until I find one who likes the level of effort I put into my dates. I figure she is more compatible with guys who spend all day on them. I like spend about 5% of my day's energy on a girl.

[Michael09]

Often you have feelings for him but don't listen to him when he tries to talk to you

you completely shut him down. Resentment builds and things go south.

[Michael09]

Men and women in long-term relationships fail to keep the Fires burning and drift apart.
Soon it's the same SSDD feelings like candles flickering in the wind

[Anemone978]

I think it is legit... if the date is shit... I'm just never gonna go out with you again... simples... if I need to tell you a date was shit we are most likely better with other people..

[LiamJHayden]

They are entitled to their opinion. And men are entitled to look elsewhere for women who are not such high maintenance.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

You're absolutely right, I'll plan a better date with someone else. Get out.

[JordanianNumetal]

This is pretty normal the hotter the girl gets. Get pissed of about it, see how much that helps.

[msc545]

This is just more entitlement from women and it's really disgusting.

[jshm2]

Typical gaslighting behaviour by these sorts of people.

Always hit back with, "How would you have done it?"

[Jdjfjcjj]

Ah she upset about something else or her friend told her about her last date with someone new guy and girlfriend comparing.