Do I choose the man I can't get off my mind or the man that's a "perfect" fit for me?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, I am having trouble picking between two men that are both amazing but in very different ways. They are complete opposites and both having qualities I love. I met guy#1 several months ago and we both instantly felt an intense pull towards each other the moment we met. Our chemistry was out of this world. I had never felt that way about a man before. I was just drawn to him in every way possible. Unfortunately, I realized early on that we were not that compatible in terms of our lifestyle and personalities. He's very independent and career oriented where as I am extremely clingy and family oriented. He had also just gotten out of a relationship so he was not consistent or ready for anything serious and because of that, he ended things with me so I wouldn't waste time on him. Fast forward a few weeks, I met guy#2. This guy is everything I was looking for in a man. He is consistent, caring, emotionally available, clingy (just like me), and extremely family oriented and ready for something serious. The downside was that I did not feel that initial "out of this world" chemistry with him that I felt with guy#1 even though guy#2 is compatible with me in every way and everything I'm looking for in a partner. Guy#2 and I still have great chemistry, just not magical like it was with guy#1. Fast forward a few more weeks, guy#2 and I are getting pretty serious now and guy#1 suddenly enters my life again wanting a second chance. Time has gone by and he is now "ready" for more commitment. Who do I pick? The guy I can't stop thinking about but not sure I can see long term with or the guy that I can envision a stable future with but don't have intense chemistry with?

chemistry guy/guy 1

compatible guy/guy 2

[Miristheiss]

Neither. This alphan chad, the first guy got you wet. You'll never forget him and you'll be pining for him forever. You'll just cheat on your boring nice guy so just break up with him.

If you can't lock down your first guy, chad's pretty much never settle down with anyone, then you'll just need to keep looking.

I assume you had sex with guy number one right? So, you have to convince guy number 1 to get with you and just move on and keep looking. Don't waste the 2nd guy's time. You can never be a good mate to him so leave him be. The bad boy already has your heart so just leave the "nice guy" alone.

[Asker]

Nope, never had sex with guy 1! Surprisingly have a lot of sex with guy 2 though.

[Anonymous]

i picked guy 2 option - it's ultimately your decision of course and none of us actually know the true details etc, but i think it's better to try with someone that's more compatible. You said yourself that you're clingy and family oriented, you may have chemistry with guy 1 but he doesn't sound the type for clinginess or settling down right away. Maybe he is, or maybe he'll eventually get there, but think of your happiness too. Are you willing to wait/put up with his differences, and is he willing to do that for you? But if you're getting serious/exclusive with guy 2, better make your decision quick to not hurt anyone too much

[Maybehislady67]

2 is a better choice but

Choose 1. I wish I did

[Asker]

Can you maybe explain your story and why you wish you chose 1? My relationship with 2 progressed so much while 1 and I were out of contact... Now that he's back, I'm so conflicted.

[Maybehislady67]

The heart wants what it wants.
If you're out here for survival choose #2
But love choose #1.
I've heard to always let the man love you more. But who will you honestly respect more? You don't know. I thought I'd respect #2 more but he's not a man who can lead etc. Can't fuck me right etc. I love relationships that have the lust factor in the relationship but that's not a good foundation to work with/on
Honestly I don't think none of these guys are worth it. I mean #1 to me is hot. And emotionally unavailable. He's not always around. The heart wants what it wants. #2 is always there. But there's something missing... lol you see?

[Asker]

You are so right... I wish I could mesh these two men into one perfect man... lol. I'm a single mom of 2 so I'm honestly not sure if I'm dating for love or "survival". I'd love to get married one day. Both men are okay with the fact that I have children but guy#1 is more so indifferent since he is more career oriented and guy#2 LOVES kids and wants a family. He'd be a great dad. That's why I'm so conflicted. Another aspect is finances... Not saying I need to rely on a man for money but it's a plus if he makes a good living. #1 makes $500,000 a year...#2 makes $105,000. Both are good but quite the difference.

[Maybehislady67]

Girl money isn't everything. You want to be happy and fucked good. Maybe get spoiled here and there. But more money more problems it's not everything. But the choice is yours good luck

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Guy that you can envision a stable future with but don't have intense chemistry with. Intense chemistry will most likely fade over time. Pick him and break off all ties with the first.

[Ben487]

hard to say. Choose both and pick the one that stays.

[Asker]

I can't because guy 2 is wanting commitment and exclusivity very soon.

[Shy_Steve]

You can be Compatible with a lot of Guys, But you can only have Chemistry with one.

[ElGato31]

You already asked this a few weeks ago!

[Asker]

I promise I did not haha, that was definitely someone else with the same question.

[ElGato31]

I don't know, but I clearly remember this question, exact same wording too. Some people replied that you should go for a third one. Then, why did you copy their question?

[Asker]

I didn't copy their question? This is the first time I have been on this app in months.