Boyfriend said “if you go on holiday to Ibiza with the girls you’re single” is this reasonable?

[Lucyyxxxxxxxxxx]

I’ve been planning a holiday with my sister and a friend, unsure on where we are going yet but want somewhere with a bit of nightlife too. Out of context my boyfriend said if you go to Ibiza on a girls holiday you are going there to act single and that’s “red flag” behaviour. I kept quiet as I hadn’t actually told him yet that that was a potential option for us. My sister also has a boyfriend and one of my friends are single, we just want to go there and have fun together like we have previous years on holiday together. Just wondering if this is a reasonable thing for him to say because it makes me feel uneasy like he is being a little controlling.

[PrettyPriya]

No, that is not reasonable at all. It also shows that he is not only controlling but very insecure and does not trust you. I had to chuckle when I read the part that he said your behaviour is a red flag when it is him that is the massive red flag.

I suggest telling him to suck it up and that you are going, whether he approves or not. You have a right to go on holiday with the girls. I used to do that a lot. It means nothing about being single. He is trying to indicate that if you go with all girls, you all are going to go out in search of guys.

That is the sort of insecure behaviour I mentioned. It is also craziness. He doesn't trust you at all I am afraid to say. If this were me, he would have two options. One, stop acting like a child about me having fun with friends or two, you lose a girlfriend. I would not tolerate this at all.

I hope you go on holiday and have a great time. Perhaps find a new boyfriend while you are there because it sounds like you need a new one.

[Lucyyxxxxxxxxxx]

Well thank you, just wanted another opinion on it really because makes me feel like I’m going mental or that I’m being unreasonable about not thinking I need to ask about where to go on holiday 😂

[PrettyPriya]

You are welcome. Honestly, you shouldn't need to ask to go on holiday. It should be more like "Hey, I am going on holiday with the girls for a week." and reply from him "Alright, you all have a great time."

That is a normal reaction.

[dynamicyandere]

This is one of those moments where you’re clashing and need to find a win-win solution if you want to preserve the relationship.


There’s 3 options I see here:


You go against want you want so you can please him, which may create resentment within you. (Unless pleasing him truly is more important to you than this trip.)


You go against what he wants, you go on the trip anyway, and he breaks up with you or develops resentment. (If he decides not to break up.)


You two work something out that you can both be happy with, like a 50/50 relationship. Nobody needs to submit to the other, but you’re looking for a win-win solution you can both agree upon.

[coachTanthony]

Boyfriends don't get to dictate shit. Now if he bent down to one knee and proposed and both of you are looking toward having a family and a future then going to Ibiza with other women should not be a priority of importance. That goes for him pulling some vegas trip with the boys as well.

[HighValue]

"Nightlife" means partying and flirting with others, likely cheating. I'd leave someone if she wanted to do that. There are plenty of immoral promiscuous people that will support your behavior if all you are looking for is comments of approval though. Just don't expect to have a faithful long term partner if that is what you want.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter if it is reasonable or not, you don't get to choose the rules he defines for his expectations of his partner.

You can either conform or not as you please.

Clearly though the demand that you do conform is controlling and indicative of abusive behavior to come, so perhaps you would be better off without him in your life anyway.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

He's not being a little controlling, he's being very controlling. Don't let him get away with that shit, trust me.
Call his bluff

[Anonymous]

Listen to this guys opinion...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/algGjMgNs6M

[LiamJHayden]

What it says is that he does not trust you. If a girl signals me that she does not trust me I end the relationship. Who needs that drama?

[jjj101010]

Was he saying u should act single or will u act single?

[Lucyyxxxxxxxxxx]

Saying it’s a place that only single people go to and that if you go on a girls holiday over there you are going over there to act single for the week

[jjj101010]

Maybe that’s what he would do

[dinojames22]

That translates to"I don't trust that you won't cheat on me when your gone"

[Jamie05rhs]

He's 100% correct.

[In_Trance]

Dump him