Would you decline a second date with someone who said they didn't want kids/marriage, BUT you do?

Question

Walt832 · Accepted Answer

I'll move on because I am wasting time.

My Ball sack is full of minions and the first thing I will say "babe, here comes day/night care".

Side the joke if was a joke.

I was what 26 dating a 30. She was mmmmmm delicioso 😋 Colombian female. We dated and until she brought a no kids and marriage conversation. That right there, was a turned off. Well, the only option was i wasn't gonna let that delicious 🤤 go easy. We hit it multiple times and then we split move on. Hell when a female just tells you nothing serious, meaning just bump her up and move on.

Unless y'all both are elderly. Common sense right.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

Yes. I would. Because that's what I'm ultimately hoping a first date might turn into if things worked out between us. If I know from the first date that you're not looking for the same type of relationship I'm looking for... then I'm not going to keep dating you. If you're just looking for fun that's fine, but since that's not what I'm looking for, then it doesn't make any sense to see whether I really like you once I get to know you better... because... what's the point?

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

If a guy does not want kids, his biggest flaw to me would be that he is a possible runaway from commitment type of guy or a possible materialistic and unloving type of guy. Not having kids is a survivable issue, but a guy that has no desire to love or protect a kid, or a guy with no intention of forming a permanent connection through children, might suggest a possible heart deficit either in commitment or in love.

Saarr · Accepted Answer

For me, it's exactly the other way around; if I got to date someone who's really passionate about having children and starting a family, I would be really hesitant to go on a second date. On this point in my life I can't image ever wanting to become a mother, so I feel like we wouldn't be compatible if we think that differently about such an important topic.🙃

Avicenna · Answer

Maybe not. I already have kids and don't want to get married again.

Summeroflove · Answer

Probably because I just don’t see a future.

Pinay_ako · Answer

If I want marriage and kids, absolutely

crossdressingrihno · Answer

No absolutely not.
Things like that change when you’re actually in a long term relationship. Circumstances change opinions.

For example right now I would be horrified to have children however if I was married to a wonderful wife and had a good stable income then hell yeah I want kids.

if they’re right for you and you make your make it clear you want children then eventually someone will probably change their mind and if not at least you have a wonderful life long partner you can be with which should be plenty.

molonski2 · Answer

I certainly wouldn't at that point of the equation , its far too early to be judging that far in advance , circumstances change and its just taking things too seriously too early , so I would certainly be proceeding , far too soon to be concerned by such judgements , enjoy the circumstance firstly.

abc3643 · Answer

Well, this is easy.

You be 100% clear: You want kids; he doesn't. That's a mutual incompatibility and thus precludes any long-term relationship.

It's not that you have anything else against him like he's an asshole, lazy, had bad hygiene, or is ugly. It's simply that you two have radically divergent desires on a fundamental life issue.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I don't want kids, I want marriage though, so I'd decline being her boyfriend for that reason. Also I wouldn't be on "dates". I don't do that, I date, as in dating = being a couple who is not yet married. The geting to know her part is being friends first, not going on dates.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

No. Actually had this happen. She was a nice woman, maybe a little heavier set than I expected (met online). But she had two kids and didn't want more. I'd have been OK with step kids but would have wanted at least the possibility of my own. Didn't go any further than first date

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Depends on how important it was. I think those are important things BUT I also think for many people they are negotiable.

Would you prefer to be just serious relationship with the otherwise perfect person or have someone who will marry you but they aren't as desirable for you? Thats the question. Tbh that's often the trade these days.

Mangospacho · Answer

Yeah, that would be weird because I would talk about the kids I already have on the first date so it would be weird if she waited until the second date to say she hates them because she’s talking about something from like 30 conversations ago and is putting a lot of emphasis on a stale conversation.

David4358 · Answer

depends on where I was in my life. If it was early 20s then i have no problem with a second date because although I knew I wanted children in the future I wouldn't want them at that time anyway so dating someone just for fun is all I would be looking for anyway.

Now if i was older and getting to the point where I want to start settling down then i would probably pass.. unless she was really hot... then there might be a few more dates lol

ShellyB · Answer

Not automatically but it would be a concern and something I would want to know more about, sometimes people make big statements and then the truth is more complicated like maybe "... unless the situation is right".

Paris13 · Answer

I would be Tempted to Keep going with Them. Hopefully to Change their Mind. xx

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

I'd of immediately let if be known that's something I'm looking for. I'd still stay, eat, and pay. But I'm no longer qualifyjng her any further

Sour-rose · Answer

if I did... yeah. I'm tryin to make a life, and if she doesn't want that... why am I wastin' my time

Brittanyroseee · Answer

I don’t want kids. Marriage i am open to. However if he wanted kids, i would not continue further with the relationship or dating aspect.

electromagnetic · Answer

You probably should if you do not want problems later in the relationship.  I’ve seen this happen to family members and it doesn’t end well.

Adam1978 · Answer

Yes it's not something I would give up on, and I am not wasting any time in a relationship that doesn't go towards my goals.

richardcory · Answer

If we were looking for somethign long term, then yes, I'd turn them down - since no long term relationship could ever work

HighValue · Answer

I have no interest in someone if she doesn't want kids. No point in dating her since it couldn't work out long term.

FifiJones · Answer

Hmm. Marriage in the meaning of coitus/sex - if it isn't for that, it's friendship, not a date.

whorable · Answer

if they would be open to adopting or fostering maybe… but i wouldn’t be happy later on down the road

slatyb · Answer

Yes, or vice versa. This is a fundamental incompatibility.

Anemone978 · Answer

Yes.. if you compromise like that you will never be happy

Simslover92 · Answer

Yes because that would be wasting both of our times if I didn't decline it.

Gent207-2 · Answer

Yes as there is no sense in continuing things if we are not going in the same direction

Nikki1989 · Answer

Yes I would. That is a red flag that I don't want to deal with.

Anonymous · Answer

For me, a sacred relationship like marriage is very important. If someone doesn't want to have this relationship with me, then dating him is a waste of both my feelings and time.

RavVid · Answer

I think in that scenario you don't have business together.

ColHathi · Answer

In that case, probably yeah. It's a little hard to imagine though, because I'm not particularly for or against either.

Jazzy54 · Answer

Yes. Why string him along? I don’t want to waste his time nor mine. Period. 🤷🏽‍♀️

exitseven · Answer

If she was nice and she liked me I would go out with her.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Of course I would because they would be a waste of time for me (and them).

mommymommymommy · Answer

I don't want kids/marriage, I have a feeling I'm never going to find a woman who wants the same. Why should I be forced to have something I don't want

Unknown29 · Answer

Of course. I want a traditional family, with kids and a stay at home wife. I’ll only date someone who wants the same.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I suppose if my life goals were marriage and children then I would maybe go out a few more times and see how committed she is to that idea.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

If one person wants kids and or marriageand the other doesn't wants kids and or marriage then it should be over.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

Not at all. At this point in my life, it was a dream from thirteen to twenty eight, but is no longer important.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't need to have kids right now so we could still fuck around for awhile.

zagor · Answer

Not if I thought I could get a few months of sex out of it before moving on.

Iron_Man · Answer

No some women can get confused she can always change her mind

Anonymous · Answer

If he changed, I would not reject anymore. Everyone deserves a second chance

In_Trance · Answer

Yes. If you have mismatched values, there' no point

CB-Raido-Time · Answer

Yes I that would be the last date that's assuming I would even date.

Britney04 · Answer

Probably not if you want marriage and kids and person doesn’t your just wasting each others time.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I would, because I want marriage and children.

EmmaMary · Answer

Absolutely right I would.

jshm2 · Answer

If it's your red line. then move on.

fonduegirl · Answer

You shouldn't. You're wasting time.

JosyJosy · Answer

Yep, it's very important

worldscolide · Answer

Absolutely, she would be a waste of time.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Yeah obviously

imawfulatusernames · Answer

Yes. Those aren’t differences you can work out

Masumgunahkar · Answer

Her mind may change with time

brandon1122 · Answer

If that person is good I wouldn't decline.

DizzyDesii · Answer

100%

SeriouslyFunny00 · Answer

Yup.

comekitty · Answer

Yes, I would

LazerBean · Answer

Absolutely.

Sweety_Torneeya · Answer

Yes offcourse

Would you decline a second date with someone who said they didn't want kids/marriage, BUT you do?

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