This guy I'm talking to hardly talks to me anymore. Has he lost interest?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this guy for nearly 5 months now, and we hit it off pretty well in the beginning. Well, he would go through periods of hardly texting me or leaving me on read. He told me he wasn't ignoring me, that he just got super busy or forgot to check his phone. But he got worse about replying to my messages, and grew seemingly more distant. It seemed like excuses on his end. Even when we'd talk about trying to meet up, he'd say he's "so busy" sometimes, but in reality he's just hanging with his friends 24/7 or playing video games. He's got the ability to come see me way easier than I do him, but he says I'd have to be the one going to him. I asked him if he still wanted this "relationship" we were in. (Not technically a relationship, but we were in the talking phase, were sexual with one another, and talked about meeting up.) he said due to age difference and distance, he thought it'd be best to just stay friends. Well, we got to talking again, and we both agreed we had a hard time finding other people, so he agreed to start talking this way again, and seemed very interested in me. We also started being very honest and upfront with one another, and he told me we could as he doesn't play games. Once again, I've noticed that he has grown distant. I tested him and waited for him to text first, 6 days went by, still nothing. In the past it would take him a max of 3 days to say anything. So I shot him another message in an effort to talk about this, but he couldn't even reply to my second message. My messages haven't even been opened yet and it's been like this all day. Am I just being stupid right now? Is he hiding things to make me feel better, and has just lost interest?

[Summeroflove]

It definitely seems he’s loosing interest. Now some people will get angry if someone doesn’t respond right away. They can be busy. But this doesn’t seem the situation.


If he’s taking days on end to respond. I don’t know…. If definitely seems he’s probably losing interest. Now he needs to say that he’s losing interest or talking to other girls. But many people don’t…

[Anonymous]

You’ve been struggling with this for a while now. It’s unfortunate that you caved and went back, but I’ll say it again, you’re wasting your time. Nothing is changing about the distance, and yes it’s hard not talking to him since he’s like your bestie or whatever, it’s worse having to start the cycle of healing over and over.

[Asker]

I just wonder what I did for him to lose interest...

[Opinion Owner]

You didn’t do anything; I just think the reality of the situation is hitting him as you two get further along. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you back, appreciate you as a person in his life or any of those depressing thoughts that you’re burdening yourself with. It’s literally only what he’s told you himself: distance and age. You know in your heart these two things aren’t changing, so why prolong this inevitable parting ways? I think you know ultimately what has to be done, you just really, really don’t wanna do it.

[Opinion Owner]

Also, the situation gives me space filler vibes. You’re both having trouble finding companionship outside of one another, and as a result you sort of hang on to one another. The only thing is you’re more attached to wanting a relationship, while he seems fine just wading along. To me, he’s not as invested as you are. Like you’re ready to prioritize him, I’m sure you’d visit if you could and basically ready to do the work. He’s just got excuse after excuse, and doesn’t seem interested in committing because of said “work”. You can do better than that. You’ve been through a breakup before and know how hard getting over someone is in the beginning. But it gets easier after some time.

[Danny_dan92]

I’d say so

[In_Trance]

yeah