Say you've been dating someone for over a year, and the guy keeps saying you'll talk about things like future etc, things he says makes him anxious as he needs a plan/direct. What would you do if he never talks about things- distracts or avoids by putting tv on of not sitting and talking.
I'm getting fed up of thinking we're gonna sort things out and have a discussion, for it to never happen. I've sat and straight out asked him on the spot when will we 'talk', but he's very good at changing the topic, not following through etc.
I feel really pissed off waiting to clear things up, but I feel like he does this on purpose. I also find it hard to believe that for someone who says he wants to have a plan, that he won't talk to find solutions.
He's older then me by 12 years, wants to start a family in a year or two and often speaks for me in terms of when it's right for me to have kids etc.
He lists issues, but never wants to problem solve each one.
I feel stuck
I'm getting fed up of thinking we're gonna sort things out and have a discussion, for it to never happen. I've sat and straight out asked him on the spot when will we 'talk', but he's very good at changing the topic, not following through etc.
I feel really pissed off waiting to clear things up, but I feel like he does this on purpose. I also find it hard to believe that for someone who says he wants to have a plan, that he won't talk to find solutions.
He's older then me by 12 years, wants to start a family in a year or two and often speaks for me in terms of when it's right for me to have kids etc.
He lists issues, but never wants to problem solve each one.
I feel stuck
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Strange he is ok chatting about wanting kids but avoids other stuff. What things is he avoiding talking about? Marriage?
Sorry, I realise I didn't provide much information in my question. So he says he wants to plan for a family in the next few years. He does not specify if that is with me. I live with my bro who's never home, and this has been an issue for him, as I don't have my own place. I'm practically at his everyday but we both enjoy each others company. When he brings my living situation up, he never wants to help me plan my exit, I. e looking for my own place. He also mentions about my career- that he doesn't know where I will do my 3 year train- despite me specifying that it will be local. So it's like I provide him answers to his questions and he still mentions them like we've never had that conversation. He also makes a point that I don't see my mum often, so how would he ever meet her- again I've said that's not the case, and I can arrange to see her anytime, no issue. He says if I do my training, then it's unfair to take time out to have kids. He's literally said to me, you can't have kids in the next 2 years. Like he has made the decision for me- which I absolutely don't like. I wouldn't put my life on how to train.
He wants to try an eventually live together, but days later he said he isn't sure he would ever want to live with anyone.
His ex had her own house, as did he and they split because he wouldn't move in with her. He said he wanted his own place to go incase they argued. He later blamed it on other things like differences in parenting styles.
I just feel he doesn't know what he wants. He also told me he feels guilty after we have sex, because we don't have a plan. But yet again, anytime I try talk about it, he wants to fixate on his garden or reads on his phone. Half the time I think he doesn't give a shit, he will sit on his phone as I'm tryna bring up these discussions
Ok, I getit now. I think he values his independence too much to ever get married, his focus is on your financial standing and your potential standing in future.
He has his own house, which he has zero intention of risking in a divorce in future, thus he will likely want woman who is financially better off than he currently is before he would risk marriage.
I'd say he isn't what you are looking for.