What level of attraction is most important to you?

[Anonymous]

Intellectual

Emotional

Sexual

[kylee2437]

Emotional. Intellectual and sexual attraction is meaningless without the enthusiasm

[Asker]

Tbh I'm surprised Intellectual got any votes at all.

[kylee2437]

@asker intellect connection in my opinion is only great when two people can learn from each other and are open to do that, that requires emotionally maturity though. I’ve ended friendships/relationships due to emotional immaturity

[Asker]

I must say I am impressed and intrigued by your word play. What do you think is the key to relationships in general?

[kylee2437]

Emotionally intelligence. If you aren’t equally evoked emotionally, all will fail. It goes a lot deeper than just emotions for each other though.

[Asker]

That certainly is the main element that drives the engine, no doubt. "It goes a lot deeper than just emotions for each other though" what are you talking about when you say that?

[kylee2437]

If two people don’t have the maturity to understand each other and create compromises, everything is going to fail. That takes emotional attractions in oneself and each other to be able to maintain.

[Asker]

I think you're talking about harmony; the ability to stay in harmony. Disharmony is caused by not being on the same page. Not being on the same page is caused by never having a "mutually accepted page" to begin with or by not being loyal to those mutually accepted pages. And yes loyalty to those pages requires one to be emotionally involved with such pages; individuals are included in such pages ofc.

However, I think compromise is the enemy of fulfillment. Thus the word "mutual"
Ofc this does not apply to small matters that are unimportant.

[kylee2437]

I disagree compromise keeps things healthy and a person more willing to compromise with understanding is more likely to uphold healthier relationships.

[Asker]

Fair enough, we'll have to agree to disagree on that point perhaps. To be clear, I believe very much in compromise on small things. And almost all things are small things... However, if the guy wants kids and the girl doesn't want any kids... I don't think those people should force themselves to be together and that one of them should compromise. If one wants to get married and the other doesn't... Just find another partner that desires a more similar relationship vision. It all goes back to the vision not the individuals. If she doesn't want kids he shouldn't settle just because he loves her. There is another girl out there that you could easily love and that wants kids. There always is.

We agree I just get the feeling you believe in compromising even on the big things. That's a direct blow to motive and fulfillment... Which is huge. I also think you may think in terms of just the individuals and I think in terms of the vision which includes the individuals.

[kylee2437]

@asker well that’s a sign of incompatibility lol you can’t compromise on big subjects like that but if you can’t compromise on the small things, your relationship is beyond screwed. So no I don’t believe in compromise on big subjects

[Asker]

@kylee2437 You're pretty cool. Sincerely. Lol I think we have literally the same philosophy but just use different words. It's fascinating to me. I found the word "enthusiasm" to be the first intriguing thing. Anyway, thank you. That was fun. Is open mindedness also the key characteristic in your vetting system too? Vetting system meaning when you are taking inventory of your date.

[inhua]

you can have emotional and intellectual attraction towards a platonic friend, a family member, a mentor, a colleague etc. you can't have sexual attraction towards those mentioned unless you intend for them to be a spouse or hookup material

[WonderBell99]

Emotional. If we don’t have any chemistry, I’m out. Intellectual and sexual matter too, but not as much as emotional.

[coconut94]

All of these tie together

[Asker]

Equally then?

[coconut94]

Yes. I feel like they all play into each other

[Anonymous]

Intellectual and Emotional.