The not wanting to be seen with your girlfriend in public because she’s overweight sounds kind of shallow, but I can understand losing a sense of physical attraction to a partner if they suddenly became overweight, due to a lack of trying and/or poor dietary choices. I myself have never really been physically attracted to men who are overweight. I’ve always been in to men who are in at least average shape and tall. They don’t have to have perfectly sculpted lean muscles like Brad Pitt, Christian Bale, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson, and the male models on the cover of Sports Illustrated. They need to show that they care enough about their bodies to at least get back to or remain in ok shape and exercise some self-control over their appetite, though. I don’t want to hug, kiss, make out, or sleep with a guy with a body mass so wide that he can’t see his own body below his waist and it feels like I’m about to get suffocated whenever we’re intimate. Not to mention the fact that being overweight for a prolonged period of time leads to a much higher mortality rate/a much shorter life expectancy.
That being said, life does happen, too. Our metabolisms start to slow down in our mid-twenties. Most of us don’t have the money to have bodies and diets that look as perfect as celebrities on the covers of magazines. Conditions such as Cushing’s Disease, depression, hypothyroidism, or naturally having an endomorph body structure do make it more difficult to lose weight and keep it off. However, from what I’ve seen, people with these issues can get them treated, eat moderately healthy, work out at least a few times a week, and end up gaining and maintaining at least an average healthy in their build.
How long has your girlfriend been overweight? Was she always like this from the time you met her? Is it a new thing? Have you expressed concern over her health for being overweight? There is a way to do it kindly without sounding like a jackass. You could offer to help her go on a diet, or offer to go work out with her. If you’re so ashamed of being seen with her in public for simply being overweight in and of itself, though, I think it’s best to just end it. It’s one thing to feel less physically attracted to a partner because they’ve become overweight, but to be so repulsed that you’re not even willing to offer them compassion and support to get healthier because you don’t want to be seen with them in public anymore? You’re not invested
Most Helpful Opinions
I won’t tell you you’re wrong for feeling that way but you’re really not doing her or yourself any favors by staying with her if that’s how you feel. You need to rethink the relationship and if you decide you don’t want to be with a big girl (and that’s fine if you don’t), you need to let her go. It may hurt her a bit at first but eventually she’ll either find someone else who’s not embarrassed to be seen with her OR she’ll feel more motivated to work on herself more and lose the weight, which is good for her either way.
1. From my POV as a traditional man, unless you are trying to figure out if she is wife material & mother material, there is zero reason to keep dating. You're not married. You are free to move on for any reason.
2. As hard as you may find it to believe, just like you have settled for way less than you actually want in a girlfriend, she may be settling for way less than she wants in a boyfriend. What do you think will happen when she hits the gym and turns from a -3 out of 10 to a 6 or even an 8? She's going to upgrade to another dude faster than you can say 'protien shake'.
3. You need to ask yourself why you got with her in the first place... if it was just for sex then that's pathetic from my POV... to do that and not want to be seen in public. You're using her.
Have ever you been proud of something before to the point where you'd easily defend against someone else saying otherwise? This could be about your mother/father being a good parent or how you're fiercely loyal to friends.
Treat your girlfriend in that way. Focus on why you are with her and take pride in it. Most people are not going to be judging you for it or think less of you for dating a fat girl. Hell, a friend of mine is and I think his relationship is wholesome as hell, since it's lasted so long. He's always posting pictures of her and being proud she's his girlfriend. No one gives him shit for it either and not even behind his back too. I remember none of our mutual friends doing it in high school despite how often people gossip
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
24Opinion
I mean maybe it wouldn’t be so embarrassing if you didn’t use her body as a fetish? I mean why take a picture that empathizes on your body’s to begin with?
Why did you choose her as a girlfriend if you are embarrassed by her appearance?
You can be embarrassed but you should break up with her then. You're not compatible.
All that matters is what you two think. None of these people know you anyway, right? There will always be people who judge you.
Yes, it is wrong to feel embarrassed or ashamed of your girlfriend's appearance or size. You should be proud to be with her and focus on the qualities and traits that you love about her. It is important to remember that everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way, and physical appearance should not be the basis for judging or valuing someone. It may be helpful to reflect on why you feel this way and try to address any underlying insecurities or biases that may be contributing to this negative attitude. Additionally, it's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and work together to build a supportive and respectful relationship.
There is nothing wrong with it. Don't listen to negative commenters on here.
All it means is you have some deep rooted conditioning that isn't in harmony with what you're doing.
It causes a chaotic vibration.If you want to be with her, you should; even if you feel embarrassed.
Key: Whatever you are thinking other people think, tell yourself they are thinking the opposite. You'll start to rewire the mind.When you start to feel uncomfortable you'll be aware of what you subconsciously think other people are thinking. And to be honest, it is what you subconsciously believe too.
However, if you actually do care about her being over weight then @DizzyDesii comment might be a better action step.
Do you like her and you're just embarrassed about what other people think?
If so, then it's your problem.
Why worry about what other people think?
If you two really like each other and she's a good woman to you, then screw everyone else and their opinions/ideals.
it is wrong, why are you with her then? stop worrying about what others think or get over your own ego. if you love each other and are happy eff everyone else. embarrassed about what? fat, skinny, short , tall, does it really matter? i have a patient he is 6foot skinny with a 5'5 400 pound wife? they are happy who cares
Get her in the gym. Tell her SOMETHING has got to change or you WILL move on because its reached a point that is making you uncomfortable and lose attraction. Then hug/kiss her and assure her that you don’t want to leave, but you will only out forth as much effort as she does in terms of taking care of herself.
If you aren't attracted to her, don't be with her. It's a disservice to you both and you can just find someone who's in better shape. If you ARE attracted to her, then you need to just learn to stop caring what strangers think. Embarrassment is your own issue, unless people are literally harassing you and throwing stuff at you guys.
Ey, she got it going on... so kind of yes. It is wrong. Sure, i don't want a fat husband but I won't be embarrassed about him. Just... annoyed. Because I've already walked to the Tilly store in the mall and he's still panting from catching up with me from hot topic... which is 4 stores down.
Break up with her. Why on earth would you choose to date someone you’re embarrassed to be seen with? That makes no sense at all. It only matters what YOU think. If you’re attracted to her, fuck what others think and you do you.
u have two choices , u either don't date her , or just be confident and be a man who's proud to show his type in women , so u prefer fat women? then no one needs to judge u on that , it's your type and preference , I actually feel bad for your girlfriend bc she's with a guy who's ashamed of her in public , just man up and be confident
Do you really love her? You have to ask that to yourself. People should not feel uncomfortable about how is phisically their partners or about their jobs. You should love her and care about her in everything! An important thing is also encouraging her to be better so you can propose her to go gym with you or if she have an eating problem say her u are worrued about her and that u love her and want her to be better.
If she is a big fattie why did you get with her first up?
You need ( for her sake ) to get her weight under control , its completely natural to be highly embarrassed , you would have no pride if you were not.
If you're embarrassed that's a dead relationship that you try to keep alive for nothing. If you actually love her, you wouldn't be embarrassed at all.
Then why are you with her? Why not break up and find someone that fits the lifestyle and needs better? Or you can change your attitude about it. But why is she fat in the first place? And why can't she slim down?
There are two different types of men with gay women: 1) the man that lets her neglect her health and eat herself to death 2) the man that helps her lose it I went from 245 to 200 met him at 200 he helped me am now 137
Dude, your brain is telling you what you want and you're not listening : You don't want her, and you wanna be "nice" and you wanna be "good" but maybe you should be "selfish".
Yeah it is wrong.. if you are embarrassed why are you even dating her?
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!