A month ago, I met this girl at an event she organized through my friend. At then end she had asked me for my snap “to start a gc”. I had been off snap, but I started it up again after she snapped me individually and we’ve been talking for the last 40 days. We broke one another’s sleep schedules and climbed one another’s friends lists in a week. One week in, she invited me to eat with her friend, but didn’t invite our mutual. Ever sense then, we’ve been going on long walks a few times a week, usually with people. After an unrelated conflict happened between me and my mutual, she convinced me to go to an event that he was hosting. At the event, all of my friends convinced me that the signs were obvious. We had one more hike after that and I started planning how to confess my feelings to her. I was going to plan an event, but she invited me to walk on the beach with just us. 2 days before, I solved the conflict with my friend and confessed that I had feelings for her. He was ok with it and offered to pray for me, but he said she had “rejected” him that night when he was solving the conflict with her, but he had a date with someone else. I picked her up and drove her to the beach, where we walked for 4 hours with constant conversation. After we ate, I took her home , where I confessed my feelings to her. She acted confused at first, but I elaborated and she gave me a “I’m not rejecting you, but I don’t know how I feel” when she saw that I was zoning she stayed in the car and kept repeating the same thing. I talked to my friend afterward and he said that he got something similar but less heartfelt she later message: “I had lots of fun today” “I like u too i gust don't know how I feel yet it takes me a while for me to know how I feel” “Dont think I was letting u down easy please don't think that” “Ok I feel really bad I don't want u to think I'm rejecting u. I like u but I don't know how much yet. Like if I want to be in a relationship i want to give it my 100 % all”
What should I do, I need a second opinion (long story be willing to read)?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
It sounds like this girl is unsure of whether she wants to pursue a romantic relationship with you. While she enjoys spending time with you and likes you as a person, she does not yet know whether she has romantic feelings for you. It's possible that she needs more time to get to know you and develop her feelings, or she may ultimately decide that she wants to be friends but nothing more. Since she has not given you a definitive answer, you can continue to spend time with her and see where it goes, while also being respectful of her feelings and needs.
Continue to get to know her, she did not flat out reject you, she maybe had bad experiences and needs more time. Maybe she thought you want a relationship so maybe you should tell her that youd like to see her in hopes of it becoming more than friends, like take her on dates and get to know her, not that it has to be relationship right away.
These aren’t good signs. I did know someone like this before I married my wife who was just wishy washy like this. She was one foot out the door and was indecisive but tried to make it seem really sophisticated how she wasn’t ready for a relationship or just honored the friendship too much when she just wasn’t interested in me and wanted to spare my feelings so she didn’t seem like the bad guy. In reality, relationships should need this much energy and maintenance - if she likes you, she likes you, she’s not gonna make you jump through all these hoops and then give a lame excuse like “she just values the friendship too much”.
Bottom line - she needs to pull herself together and give you a straight answer - yes or no.